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Herpes - Tell or Not tell?
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TOPIC: Herpes - Tell or Not tell?

Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 22 Nov 2013 23:33 #76605

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First off, get tested so you'll know for sure.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 22 Nov 2013 23:47 #76612

yea you tell them the stats though. You tell her right before you bang her "BTW I have to let you know I get cold sores on my lips but have not had any in X years because I am on this medicine that basically makes it impossible for me to get it or give it to anyone."

source: my player friend has herpes.

If she backs out than she backs out. But I don't agree with being a skeezer and fuckin around without divulging info.

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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 23 Nov 2013 01:55 #76639

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You have a moral dilemma because I told you exactly what the score was. Now you're looking for advice from advice from a bunch of guys who don't have H and know very little about it, so that you can feel better about yourself.

You're newly infected, that means you're probably shedding the virus 20-25% of days, and you don't know which days. Not having visible OB's does NOT mean you aren't shedding. Since you're newly infected, you probably don't even have a proper feel for the prodrome feeling before an OB, which is also a big part of controlling it. Whatever you're going to tell the girl, it's probably not going to be the whole truth, because frankly you haven't even accepted the truth yourself.

I know you aren't going to disclose, very few always disclose. I myself have the odd ONS where I don't disclose, but I've had it for over 3 years, and I take 2 Valtrex every day which cuts viral shedding down but 75%+. When you do everything right and you have a handle on it, transfer rates are 2-3% per year M to F between married couples. That's a 0.02% chance per sexual encounter, even less with proper condom use.

But if you aren't doing everything in your power, especially those two blue pills every day, you can't be even slightly morally justified having sex without disclosing.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 23 Nov 2013 22:45 #76807

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You are right. Oral H can be passed to genital via oral sex and that's how the majority of infections are happening with young people now. Yet for some reason the person with OHSV isn't as required to disclose.

It's not fair, but it's the world we live in. In the USA you can be sued for not disclosing.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 24 Nov 2013 22:59 #77091

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HaHa, immune system and sides, who are you kidding? You can't afford it and it's just that simple.

You are falsely assuming that because you aren't having OB's it means you don't shed. EVERYONE who is newly infected is highly infectious and these are the people passing on 90% of new cases.

You can't afford Valtrex so I guess it's not an issue. If you sleep around without disclosing you're a fucking asshole plain and simple.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 24 Nov 2013 23:25 #77100

Im sure you could be charged for not telling a partner. Who is the girl that gave you herpes , have you ask her if she has it?
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I only have 2 things in this world, my balls and my word, and I don't break them for no one!!

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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 24 Nov 2013 23:44 #77102

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I think if you have genital herpes you should tell. Genital herpes is a big deal. If you have oral its a bit less of a big deal just don't do anything with girls when you have a cold sore. 80% of americans have oral herpes.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 25 Nov 2013 00:33 #77111

yes, you should tell. that's the moral and legal thing to do.

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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 25 Nov 2013 00:38 #77113

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I think if you have genital herpes you should tell. Genital herpes is a big deal. If you have oral its a bit less of a big deal just don't do anything with girls when you have a cold sore. 80% of americans have oral herpes.


Cold sores are more or less the same as genital, only they are on your face. In fact a lot of genital herpes cases come from people with cold sores performing oral sex on people that don't have genital. If anything, oral herpes is the more serious condition. It's just that gential herpes has been stigmatized for more.


The people who get genital herpes are almost always people who haven't been infected with oral before though. If you have contracted oral herpes, after a 6 month window you develop an immunity to the virus and it is virtually impossible to get infected in your genital region. And yes obviously cold sores are the same as genital. Oral and genital herpes are both cold sores, just in different areas of your body. Anyways, oral isn't a big deal take valtrex if you have cold sores, and don't do shit with girls until it goes away. If you have genital herpes your constantly shedding even if you don't have visible cold sores though so its a bigger deal and the fact that it is by your dick makes people trip out. Bottom line, if you have genital herpes tell the girl. Luckily, most people have gotten oral herpes before, so a lot of people actually have an immunity built up to avoid getting genital herpes without even knowing it.
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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 25 Nov 2013 00:56 #77121

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If you tell a girl before a one night stand, you will NEVER get laid. Get on Valtrex and use a condom every time and the chances of spreading it will be close to 0 percent.

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Re: Herpes - Tell or Not tell? 25 Nov 2013 01:01 #77125

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If you tell a girl before a one night stand, you will NEVER get laid. Get on Valtrex and use a condom every time and the chances of spreading it will be close to 0 percent.


I would definitely use a condom. Valtrex or any supressive med I'm not so sure on. Considering they don't reduce shedding by that much, it just doesn't seem worth it.


Valacyclovir significantly reduced the percentage of days with total (clinical and subclinical) HSV-2 shedding throughout 60 days compared with placebo. In the intent-to-treat population, a 71% reduction in total shedding (P < .001), a 58% reduction in subclinical shedding (P < .001), and a 64% reduction in clinical shedding (P = .01) were observed. Valacyclovir was not associated with any significant toxic effects compared with placebo.

71% reduction rate is not worth it for you?

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