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DAY 13 - damn, applying self-discipline feels rewarding!
After my blue balls / physical pain in the groin went away on day 11, I've been feeling GREAT! I will tell you about some positive minor/major changes that I believe are due to retention of my life force - my semen - inside my body, feeding me with some kind of spiritual / higher level energy or inspiration all day all night.
I have a simple, strong, confident masculine presence and very little negative/depressive thoughts throughout the day. I'd say my internal state/mood is based very little on external things, and greatly on what I choose to say, do and think. I smily very widely, so authentically at the smallest things, and simple things can fill my being with joy like a polite exhange of small talk with a person who is either nice or mean back - it doesn't matter.
I can self-amuse easily and make myself laugh in an instant whenever I want by saying or doing something simple, like greeting random people LOUDLY or doing a few dance moves in public or thinking of a funny experience I had. I'm becoming more and more aware of my masculine power of being a stable rock internally. I can use a loud, authoritative, commanding voice tone more easily, and I like to do so, engaging random people into conversation to kill my social anxiety / approach anxiety.
I have a newfound sense of being involved with the world I live in, of being an integral part of humanity and having a RESPONSIBILITY to act as an authority to those who NEED it to be functinal people. For example, I reprimand random kids for spitting on the ground, being noisy in places where they disturb people and saying things they shouldn't.
I need to start regularly cold approaching women again. I CAN do it, it's just that I haven't WANTED to because I don't have great style and looks yet, but I'm working on fixing them so that I can do what really makes me happy: express my love for women in words, actions etc.
I can't believe I've completed almost 1/3 of my goal of 44 days of no PMO, because it feels so easy now! I'm in command of my sexual urges/instincts, they're not in command of me anymore. I feel empowered!
How you no fappers doin? Here's the latest new from me.
Day 15 - very good feeling and mood which I attribute to no PMO, and the desire to socialize social is very strong. I'm getting more pleasure out of talking to people. On the bus I wished everybody a merry christmas and got joy out of that! I feel like I'm sharing my positive vibe and my being with every human that I come across and smile at or talk to or touch.
DAY 16 - relapse
Today I snowballed little by little into relapse
1.Looked at escort listings in the morning and saw a good opportunity for a blowjob at an affordable price.
2.Looked at videos of the escort performing BJ in pron scenes to see if she's good at it and worth the money. Got hard and decided to do 10mins of jelqing, which is a penis enlargement exercise that's done 90-100% erect and resembles masturbation and has the same effect as light edging. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, I got pain in the penis/urethra, kinda like blue balls, for the rest of the day because 15 days of cum REALLY wanted to come out.
3.Had 2 drinks... just enough to lose some self-control and get a bit more horny than normal. I rarely drink, so I have little tolerance.
4.Went on reddit to read /nofap to give me strength and motivation to stop. Ended up on /gonewild looking at various xxx pics of amateur females
5.Got hard, started touching myself and thinking "oh no, just a little bit, this feels soooo good, I'll just do a little and stop, no it's no problem, I'll just touch so gently I wont even orgasm"
6. Looking at those /gonewild pics I eventually just had to.. I JUST HAD TO lube up 2 silicone pads (hard to explain) put them around my penis to form a male masturbating device, and then put that under a pillow and hump myself to orgasm on my bed....
What did I learn from this? 1.Don't watch porn videos. No, seriously, DON'T WATCH PORN VIDEOS IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED. No, don't give into your excuses. No, you don't need to watch porn to get hard so you can jelq. Jelqing is forbidden for 60 days. Complete this challenge first.
2.Even 2 servings of alcohol and being home alone at the computer WILL increase my risk of giving into temptation.
3.Don't blame yourself if u relapse, just start from 0 again. Goal: 60 days. It will be easy if I just say NO to watching porn videos. A total NO to pics also would be great, but to be honest I can't wait to visit some escorts and I gotta look at their pics to make a good choice. Reason being, I ain't got no women now. But besides that I aint gonna look at any pics, I promise to mysefl!
Amir - just for you, I will do an escort review when I find some bitches who give a good bang for the buck when I go to visit Estonia.
I didn't beat it for just over a week and by the end of it when I actually had a fap it felt like my stamina had decreased a shitload and felt like I could cum in less than 2 minutes. Don't know if its just me but fapping around twice a week makes my dick sensitivity decrease and allows me to go for longer because of it.
i've read about quitting porn on some of the PE websites I've been to and now after reading this thread i am more than convinced that i need to do this as well. I just don't know about the no fapping bit, that part i am not sure of.
When I had my first girlfriend and we started to become sexually active I could last as long as i wanted to. I once went 1.5 hours and only stopped because of time constraints (parents coming home) and after we broke up was what i would call the internet porn revolution (LimeWire, Kazaa) I felt being single was fine i had all this pr0n to hold me over. well that was in Feb. 2002 and by June I started dating someone else and thinking back I realize that I could only get hard for sex via a BJ i just said oh it's because I enjoy them so much (which i do) but the going as long as i wanted turned into 15-25 minutes fast forward to my last relationship and by now we are in the bit-torrent/HD-porn era (2009-present) and I would last 10-20 minutes and It would take a lot just to get me hard but having gfs with good oral skills was a saving grace i suppose. She would tell me she felt unattractive because I never "jumped on her" and she always initiated sex and in Oct 2011 we broke up (after a lot of BS but thats another subject) the only sex I had was with this one french girl and it was pitiful like 5 minutes maybe. It keeps getting worse and now i can clearly see that porn is probably what is causing all of this for me.
I'm happy I found this site because through it and other means i have made a lot of self improvement with much more to go. Tonight I am about to clean up literally 100's of GBs of porn.
I'm going to join in. I've been off porn for over a month, but I've still been masturbating every few days. I haven't masturbated since yesterday, and I'm going to try to go to the end of December and see how that goes.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.