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You really get it Terminator. Im at the point where i literally find porn disgusting. And where masturbation is no longer an option for me. Same as some drug addict stops his addiction and feels sick when he even hear about drugs.
On the other hand, when i shake a girls hand that i like the same second im getting boner.
Its fucking awesome, you really want real girls so badly but not just for sex, but im really interested in them as human beings for a change.
And also i notice more attraction from women when im not fapping. Its almost as they can smell which men has a lot of sexual energy in him. Eye contact is better and everything.
Deltsbrah, you can talk for months about your problem but the only thing that will make a change in your life is when you give up on this porn addiction. Yes its hard and it may take a lot of time and relapsing to get over it, but its all worth it in the end.
how do you know that no girl ever liked you? its not like they are going to tell us....
guys here are right when they talk about negative thinking, you have a good body, good reasoning and surely good sensibility, you really have to value yourself more.
We can develop this attitude of feeling sorry about ourselves and cry on us about how shit we are (i do that too) but this just makes us worse and brings our mood down. If u are really realistic as u say, you should have hope.
I feel you very close: im 32, virgin, never kissed a girl, had only 1 date recently after the AA program. I live, or try to live, with hope about what i can do, and i really believe it now. Our past life can be shit and we can have very low past and results, but this doesnt mean that we are low as you keep telling youself.
You talk as if your 0 results are the proof of your low value. This is nonsense, it is perfectly clear that situations like ours arent made by our low potential or value, but by our past life that can include many particular situations that made us suffer, close, get depressed etc etc.
Realize how much better you are compared to the average guy and how much more you deserve. And dont close in the confortable "im low" attitude
For me if i stop fapping i'd basically be a monk. probably start having wet dreams again too which is extremely inconvenient and embarrassing lol
I've got a girlfriend, but long distance, so I have a weekend of sex every two or three weeks and otherwise I'm on my own. For me, if I have a wet dream it's a personal triumph. Who has wet dreams? Horny teenagers with enormous libidos, that's who. Why wouldn't you want to be like that? I'm not sure it's so inconvenient and embarrassing either, unless you live in a dormitory with ten other guys and they all jump on your bed in the morning. Just let it dry up and then wash your sheets.
This is a battle I'm in right now... after making all kinds of progress and dumping porn for real chicks I've gone back to the old habits and it's a bitch. Long story short I was undersexed for years and really insecure... I got fed up, dumped porn, I took a lot of action with the AA program, started approaching girls for real and started to get results (2 cold approach, 1 online). It was so worth it... I really connected with one girl and had amazing real sex. It really meant so much and made me feel like a different person. Then, like Chris says I got a little validation, felt good about myself and backed off and went back to old habits. It's a real struggle now because I know there is a better alternative. It's all an inside struggle and lately I've been really down. So basically I'm watching porn and not chasing the real thing and feeling like shit. Fucking painful
Deltsbrah wrote: Dats easy for you to say/do mate.. I assume you have a gf so there is expectation of sex. For me if i stop fapping i'd basically be a monk. probably start having wet dreams again too which is extremely inconvenient and embarrassing lol
I quit fapping as I joined GLL as a virgin and started the AA program. Just sayin'...
25 y/o virgin before GLL
Yeah my experience when I and jerking off all the time is I lose the drive to meet women. David Deida said it well when he says you lose the ability to cut through your distractions:
It feels great for a few moments, but the price you pay for the genital sneeze of ejaculation is a much higher level of mediocrity in your daily life. You will find that you just don’t have the extra gusto necessary to live your life with utter impeccability. Excess ejaculations pave the road to living a good life, but not a great life.
In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or make that important phone call. You will have enough motivation to live a decent life, but ejaculations drain you of the “cutting through” energy that is necessary to pierce your own wall of lethargy and slice through the obstructions that arise in the world. Your gift will remain largely ungiven.
I also find that if I've been jerking off I treat women like something I want to fuck right now. Sex object only. If I stop wanking for a while I'm so fascinated with just talking to them and being around them. It's fun just to have women around me.
Beyond that though I really do lose the ability to cut through distractions if I've been jerking off a lot. I like who I am and how I live when I stop completely. I haven't been able to do this in moderation, so I just stop completely. I've lasted the longest 77 days, each time I go back to the porn it becomes more obvious how bad it's doing me. I'll no doubt give it up completely soon enough.
Deltsbruv, you keep looking for excuses to not change. Why not start looking for excuses to start changing instead?
Or -- even if you don't believe it'll help you -- commit to thinking positive instead of realistically, doing the AA program and nofap for a week and see how you're feeling after that. Just as an experiment. Then you don't have to think anymore - you'll know. Small price to pay for that mental clarity, right?
Okay, I get you. Wet dreams suck. I myself sweat profusely in my sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night, everything's soaking wet and I have to either change the bedsheets or be miserable wet and cold and shivery for the rest of the night. First thing in the morning I jump into a cold shower because even that's more comfortable than laying in the wet bed. I have to change n wash my sheets every day. Even all my girlfriends hated it. I also snore, and sometimes even though they love me they can't sleep in the same room with me. My little sis told me I sound like a motorbike and my latest GF told me it's so loud it's as if I'm yelling in my sleep . Do I think negatively about it or complain about it? Hell no! Everybody's got their problems. In fact I don't even consider this a problem, because there's nothing at all that I can do about it except deal with it. So I deal with it.
But I get you. Answering your messages is like talking back in time to myself 3-4 years ago. I think you should quit your job, start drinking and doing drugs so that you'd hit rock bottom and gain the same perspective as I do.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
I'm not gonna go around talking to women. That feels really wrong to me. I'd rather spend a little bit of money get a hooker.
I don't know how your mind works but this quote alone highlights a deep issue within your being.
Mark my words. There is no substitute to connecting with a real woman who likes you and wants to be with you. Hookers and porn are nothing. Laying cuddled and entwined with a girl you like after sex, her head on your shoulder just talking about random stuff can be better than sex itself.
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Kratom is next!
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