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You are a hardcore porn addict and your brain does not function well at all and you look at the women in some fucked up way.
You have to stay away from porn and masturbation as well until your brain goes back to normal.
1) She was a prostitute. You went into that whole sexual encounter with full knowledge that she was just doing it for money and not for the sake of getting fucked by you.
2) You mentioned that you have pain issues with your dick being overly sensitive. You are getting the OPPOSITE of pleasure when you engage in sexual activities.
3) You live in an outrageously sexually-repressed culture in which most of your friends were old virgins and then married the first or second girl they ever went out on a date with. Those factors seep very deeply into your mind and make you feel irrationally guilty about sex, whether you realize it or not.
Now...keeping in mind that most guys fit none of the above categories at the time of losing their virginity, and yet still nearly every guy will admit that their first sexual experiences were sucky and underwhelming...how in the hell did YOU expect that your first time was going to be any good, when you've got all three of those above factors stacked against you??? It would have been miraculous if you had actually enjoyed yourself, TBH...
I lost my v to a high-quality escort in October as well (to clarify, I paid her for 1 hour of her time and we just spontaneously agreed to have sex once we met ). This girl was a smoking-hot 19 year old blond college chick, the kind who would normally only be fucking the top-level football players in her school. I would probably have needed over $100K+ in surgeries alone in order to be attractive enough to lay this girl as a civilian. It was also an outcall encounter, so I even had the comfort of being in my own room. I had also drank 6 shots to calm my nerves. The end result was that I was still uncomfortable (to say the least), and the whole thing felt kind of...creepy. I did everything with her (kissed her, ate her out, got a blowjob, had sex, spooned afterwards) and I managed to cum but the whole thing just felt weird and underwhelming. I remember after she left, I said to myself "that was kinda pointless..."
For a little while afterwards I started thinking to myself that if I couldn't enjoy sex with an unattainably-hot girl who's an expert at sex, then what the hell is the point of me busting my ass trying to get regular girls in bed with me. I just thought that the pursuit of sex would be a complete time waster with zero gratification. But soon afterwards I wised up and realized that if I found a girl who was legit attracted to me and I was not pressured to bust my nuts within only one hour of meeting her, that things would be a hell of a lot different. Also with escorts you're usually using condoms, which dulls the sensation, and in my case I also need to restore my foreskin in order to increase sensitivity. In your case you need to somehow decrease it.
Personally, I didn't enjoy the experience too much but I do feel like I learned a lot from it. The same is probably true for you.
TL;DR - Don't negatively judge the entire concept of "sex" based only on first experiences. Especially in your case.
man i thought the same thing the first few times i got laid, problem is a pussy doesnt know what your dick likes more than your hand.
I stopped jerkimg off all together and cut out porn. everything improved. i used to have to fuck for like an hour and finish myself off to bust, hated it. now i last the normal 10-15mns. Way better hard ons and i look forward to fucking girls. do yourself a favor and stop jerkin it. youll be better off in the long run.
Deltsbrah wrote: Mine was kinda different because it happened in Thailand. I didn't even tell her to come with me, she decided to tag (i'd been talking to her for a few days at the bar) along with her friend who my friend hired. I thought she'd just leave along the way but she went up to my room. This is weird because no payment was ever discussed at all and Thai girls usually aggressively barter the price. she then proceeded to stay with me for 3 days. very strange. she even added me on facebook..
I will take a guess as to what happened. You were a 30 year old virgin when you met her, and as such you were almost definitely giving off inexperienced/desperate vibes. Not hating on you or anything, I'm sure almost anybody else would be too if they were in the same situation. But anyway the girl probably sensed this and figured she could heavily capitalize on it by staying with you for awhile, making you think you were in a "relationship", and then having you constantly be giving her money in a desperate attempt to keep her from leaving you. For a long term strategy this would be MUCH more profitable than just getting paid once at the standard rate. Think about it from a perspective of a young third-world girl who's desperate for money...her ideal client is going to be some guy who is desperate for some kind of relationship, doesn't know what he's doing, and has a decent amount of money to give away. It would be the perfect strategy for her to adopt...
OR, maybe she actually legitimately liked you. Who knows.
But either way you didn't know that for sure. I guarantee you had it in the back of your mind, what if this girl isn't really attracted to me and is just expecting money after all. And that's gonna kill the mood.
You also have pain issues. And it was your first time, at 30 years old. And you had ideas put into your head from early age that sex is bad. I really can't stress enough that you can't let yourself get hung up on this one experience because OF COURSE it wasn't gonna be that great.
One thing you mentioned which is very worrying to me is that your parents never hugged you. That is a HUGE red flag imo, and it probably set you up for having issues with letting yourself get close to other people. I would seek a legit therapist if I were you.
If anything I'm saying sounds rude, that's not my intention. You're looking to change, which is a good thing.
I've been to Thailand. I never got turned on by those girls. Some were definitely hot, but it was all that neon light, the noise, the crappy clubbing music. I told my friends I was gonna get a 3 some, but I just couldn't find 2 girls that I really dig and my dick was asleep the whole time.
There is a spectrum of Thai girls. They go from regular girls, semi-pros, pros. There are a lot of semi pros. They just hang out at the clubs with their friends. They go home with a guy if they like him, have sex, and just ask for some cab fare to go home. Kind of like your girl. They usually go with their girl friends to be safe.
At age 30, it's a tough age to crack the nut. I grew up in a conservative Asian family too. My parents have never hugged me once in my life that I can remember. Sure, when I was a baby they held me. No one in my family has touched me, not my brother, not my sister. We don't even shake hand let along hug. I think I got luck when I was 22. I hung out at my roomate's ex-GF's apartment listening to her CD collection. It got late, she started tickling me. We ended up cuddling the whole night. Next morning I dry humped her out of instinct until I cum lol. Next time we met up we hand sex. I was good to have that semi-earlier experience of girl wanting to have sex with me. Some say guys who are natural with women all lose their virginity before 14 y/o.
I think in general decrease masturbation and porn in good. I am not in the no fap camp. For me no fap doesn't increase my horniness that much. My balls do feel heavier and fuller so I think about them more. Also I shoot a bigger load if I wait a few days which feels really nice. The very few studies show that your testosterone level increase slightly over a week of no fap, but after that it stays the same or start going down.
Another thought regarding sex with real women. Do you play any competitive sports? Not just lifting. Part of the thrill of sex is the chase, the conquer. Same night lays are so fun because all the action is compressed in a few hours or even less. Finally you got your cock in her, it's like hitting a homerun. Even though most of my same night lay sex sucked it was always thrilling and memorable. Pulling a girl for sex is definitely a sport.
str8chaser2002 wrote: Delts: Could this have been the hooker with a heart of gold that the Hollywood movies always portray, as in Julia Roberts aka Pretty Woman. Or, could this girl have really liked you.....
i know who i am. No female has ever liked me and that's not going to change so I'm under no illusions.. .....
Dude you have some deep issues going on here. You need help that goes far beyond the capabilities of this forum. Have you tried talking to a psychologist or something along those lines?
Haven't been to Thailand but have read about others experience and it seems most of the girls are semi pros who will go with you if they like you and will even sleep with you for free. You are a jacked dude and young so you would have been among the best looking guys in a place like that so it is perfectly reasonable that she may have actually liked you. But your deep insecurities will prevent you from seeing that.
Delts, I have got a soft spot for you like you would for a little brother. If we were close to living in the same area, I would make it my mission in life to get you laid every day by a different girl in 2016. We don't live close, and I can't help you in that way, but I wish you would see the value in yourself. This goes deeper than your dick. I realize sound like a joke, but what I mean is this goes much deeper than your insecurities about the size of your dick and your inability to relate, physically or mentally to women. Find a doctor that specializes in phimosis, see if circumcision is the right path and then, get psychological help.
1) Grow my dick
2) Get down to 170lbs/Get an earth shattering ass
3) Finish writing book(s)
4) Organize my life
5) Make better money
GODOFROIDZ wrote: You are a hardcore porn addict and your brain does not function well at all and you look at the women in some fucked up way.
You have to stay away from porn and masturbation as well until your brain goes back to normal.
True. The past two months for me have been masturbatory, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I haven't gotten laid with one single woman since then. I just haven't been interested. Talking to women has been boring. Since I stopped masturbating again not only has my libido skyrocketed, but I've also developed a profound genuine interest in women. It's like I'm looking at them and WANTING them instead of just looking at them like flesh for fantasy. And it's much better than the fleeting moments of guilty pleasure that you get from whacking off your dong. Okay I also stopped doing drugs so that might contribute, but still.
wijerg wrote: Dude you have some deep issues going on here. You need help that goes far beyond the capabilities of this forum.
Not true. People have been solving these problems for tens of thousands of years by themselves. Otherwise we'd be extinct. Every one of us here is the product of an unimaginably long bloodline of natural selection, almost perfect in every way, and we need to respect that and seek out to realize that potential that exists deep within each one of us.
The problem is modern culture is so comfortable it gives people like OP the choice to lead a moderately comfortable life without ever having to resolve these issues. But Deltsbrah; the fact that you are here means that deep down you know what you need to do. Let this year be the year that you stop thinking and start acting. You're one of the worst negative thinkers on this forum, but for some reason I can't help but like you.
Edit: And just because I'm feeling better today than I've felt in two months, I'mma share here's what I'm listening right now:
25 y/o virgin before GLL
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Kratom is next!
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