TOPIC: Defining boundaries with other men...when do I do this with my fist?

Being small my whole life, I know people respect your boundaries less...
I know this because after I started lifting people respect me a lot more, not big yet 5'9" 160
But I'm ripped and people think I'm a marine.

At last nights party people were trying to skip me on the beer pong table, even my friends fucked me over because they just think they can.
I argued and used my voice but my partner is a pussy and wouldn't stand up for his spot with me so I let it go...
Ok we'll go next.

Few minutes later this guy who doesn't know me starts arguing with me over who goes next.
He condescendingly PATS ME ON THE HEAD, like "look here little boy I'm the man and I'm going next".
I shoved his hand off and was about to go ballistic on him, especially after my "friend" fucked me over and skipped me.
It was late anyway so I said fuck this and left. I was angry and not having a good time anymore.

It's not like I'm a reject/pick-on.
I was one of the best looking guys there, talking to girls, making friends, smoking blunts...

But it makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY when other men have no inkling of respect.
I know the answer is not to bitch, but to hit the gym/diet hard, start boxing again, and worry about putting my penis inside vaginas instead of a ball in a cup.

However, in ANY situation...where do I draw the line?
Just WHEN do I tee off on a motherfuckers chin or shove them for disrespect?
Isn't that very uncalled for, another man you don't know patronizingly patting you on the head?
Or am I being too sensitive about my "manhood" being assailed?

He condescendingly PATS ME ON THE HEAD, like "look here little boy I'm the man and I'm going next".

So he hurt your ego..

This stuff happens all the time, the magic is hitting back with your tongue. and not with your fists

http://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2009/12/tnm-086-dan-millman-how-to-live-the-way-of-the-peaceful-warrior/

Listen to 11.58
and 13.30

That made a lot of sense. Thanks.
I just realized a lot of my "friends" are weak pieces of shit who take advantage of my kindness at every opportunity and are jealous of my good looks and success with women and miss no opportunity to bring me down.
Thank god my brother is moving up here soon.

Thinking about it, my "friend" who screwed me over on the beer pong table was bragging earlier in the night about how he "weighs 185" and has been "working out" when hes skinnyfat and probably smaller than me.
He is pathetic and needs to feel good about himself.

I was bullied a lot in school and treated with general cruelty by my peers so I just sense people doing this shit do it because they think I'm weak enough for them to get away with it...like those people did.
I can't help but want to go apeshit and teach them a brutal lesson.

I despise those who pick on the weak to make themselves feel good.
I despise it within myself though its not very prevalent due to said past experience.
I do have violent fantasies of just mercilessly crushing some of these fuckers though...is that unhealthy?

I don't know, bro... If someone I don't know pats me in the head I'd probably knock him out on the spot... But then again, I am 6 ft and weight 185 pounds. Easier when one is bigger, I know...

You shouldn't be thinking about hurting someone unless they're trying to hurt you or someone you know. I don't see a good enough reason to hit someone for belittling you. All you have to do is assert yourself. If you were in the right and it was actually your turn to go next, explain that to them. If they're being unreasonable, let it go and find something else to do or just leave the party. If someone says something you don't like, tell them EXACTLY how you feel, right there and then. Not now, here, on the forums. You could've said something like, "I don't appreciate the way you're talking to me. Show some respect." Well, that sounds pretty gay, so realistically you would say something like, "I'm not your fucking bitch, dude. Don't talk to me like one. And don't ever put your fucking hands on me." Which leads me to my next point. If someone DOES something you don't like, once again, tell them exactly how you feel, right there and then. Saying, "Get your hands off me." or "Don't touch me." is fine. This will lead to one of two things. They will either 1. respect you or 2. tell you to fuck off. Either way, it doesn't matter, because you won't look and feel like a bitch. If you just act passive like your "pussy friends," then they will definitely NOT respect you AND tell you to fuck off if you even think about trying to get your way. If that's the case, then just go ahead and grab a permanent marker and write "DOORMAT" on your forehead, lay down flat on the floor, and let everyone walk all over you. If that sounds like a dumb thing to do (even though your "friends" are perfect examples of that), then, like I said, just be assertive and no one will ever cross your boundaries.

However, in ANY situation...where do I draw the line?
Just WHEN do I tee off on a motherfuckers chin or shove them for disrespect?

Never, first that would be considered assault and that can make for a really bad night.  You need to figure out how to calm down and stand up for yourself at the same time and make sure you're not taking yourself to seriously.

Wow dude that is crazy I honestly don't know how I would have reacted if someone ever dared do something like that too me, Like vis I would have probably punched  his head off,Its really hard to chill with guys that constantly belittle you, I'd recommend getting new friends or start doing  and saying whatever the fuck you want , also get some inserts I'm 5'9 and I walk around with my inserts 6' @ 195 nd jacked a lot of guys don't fuck with me.

That's piss me off too. I've been there as well. >

Belittle them with your words.  A favorite thing of mine in these situations. Is to agree and amplify with sarcasm and tease them back a bit.

Now your even and u didn't have to raise a fist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo1JvTAKTpk

Joking... but not really.

[quoteI do have violent fantasies of just mercilessly crushing some of these fuckers though...is that unhealthy?][/quote]

Yes I would say it's unhealthy but only in that you are letting these incidents get to you, are these friends or acquaintances, they don't sound like friends.
If they are friends have a quiet word on the side and tell them that you do not appreciate there condescending behavior..
But like others have said, ignore them more or agree and amplify.

Man, just forget about these dudes and go back to talking to girls on a party like that. Think about how angry they would get if they knew that you were having sex with a lot of girls when they think that you are inferior because of your size. I've had a friend in the US who was about your size and was constantly surrounded by dtf girls... Be that guy!