TOPIC: Need help: No self-worth

He guys

All started when I first got in the game two years ago. No anxiety - no nothing. Of course I didn't know what I was doing and didn't get laid. However, just a few weeks in and I met a girl at night. We hit it off right away, but because her logistics were bad she had to go. We talked on the phone two times. During these times I told her about my vision impairment and was surprised that she didn't notice on first encounter. Then she canceled the date the evening before and never heard from her again.

Long story short, I thought she rejected me because of my vision impairment and there you have it. I still tried, but it was different. I was hesitant, harassed girl and so on. So totally different. Two years later I still have that and it's getting me - bad!

The worst thing is I don't know what I can do about that. In the state I am currently now I cannot get any girl. And I have tried. NUMEROUS TIMES. Not even fat girls or whatever.

Guys I need help with that asap! I'm losing it.

hey we've talked in private before, I want to reiterate -- girls aren't rejecting you for your vision issue, its hardly noticable from the pictures you showed me. if anything, it's the fat that you needed to lose. that a good thing because you should have a 6-pack early next year if you follow through

2nd-
rejection, so long as you look above-average (a point to where nearly all guys can get) is often a matter of sexual availability and not "looks"

have a look that these and then think on it for a little while
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/2013/03/10/you-arent-that-ugly/
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/2012/07/05/getting-girls-is-a-numbers-game/

young guys do this all the time - find one of their insecurities and become certain that is cause that it didnt work out with ONE girl. penis size, erectile dysfunction is a popular one

and btw- I've fucked 40+ girls that cancelled on me on any given date/meetup. I probably would have nailed 100+ more if I stayed persistent and didn't take "cancelling" "flakey" behavior as rejection. im serious 100+ more, I used to delete numbers faster than I got them.

I hear you man. But Chris, I've been in this for two years. I've gone out almost weekly and approached 10 girls. I simply stopped believing that it works. I don't have any other way to get laid, since I have not grown up at home and I am moving too often to new places.

So eather I make this work, or I don't get any. Also, I've read some posts on this forum from guys who estimate them above average but still don't get any. I've simply lost hope in that regard.

Get some pics of yourself and approach videos up dude. We will help you step by step brother

hey we've talked in private before, I want to reiterate -- girls aren't rejecting you for your vision issue, its hardly noticable from the pictures you showed me. if anything, it's the fat that you needed to lose. that a good thing because you should have a 6-pack early next year if you follow through

Chris, I can follow through.However, I've been commented more then one time that I've become skinny again. I was at 185 but with a high bf%. Now I'm at 160 and you start seeing sixpack in the morning / after cold shower. Now my question is weather it's advisable to drop even lower. I've also been commented on my narrow wrists (6") so yeah. Here you can see a current pic: dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1706321/LooksProgress/IMG_0192.JPG

Yes, your bodyfat is too high bud. Either commit to a bulk (What I would recommend) or cut bodyfat

Yes, your bodyfat is too high bud. Either commit to a bulk (What I would recommend) or cut bodyfat

I was three years on bulk! Before that I was some 130 with a belly.

Guys, I'm really desperate. Improving my body takes time. Time I don't have. It's become so bad that I can't even hang with friends because I interpret everything as them hating me.

Lil hero.  Its not your vision impairment bro.  I've seen all your photos and I can't see it. 

However I can relate to your concern because I have a vision issue too:  accidental headbutt at BJJ  -> detached vitreous -> traumatic cataract -> ptosis (drooping eyelid).  Mine is fucking noticeable and it really bothered me for a while. I had trouble looking women in the eye because I was afraid they'd notice it.  But the Dr said insurance won't cover the surgery so I recently said "fuck it" and just accepted it.  Since then I've met numerous women and I only bother going to the bar once a week.

The thing that is holding you back, IMO, is your inner game.  There's a lack of confidence that you're projecting.  I don't know how to fix that (maybe Chris does) but your looks are fine.  Its your inner game that needs work brother. 

Hang in there, its always darkest right before the dawn.

I think MD is spot on. There are always improvements to be made looks wise but from the nature of your posts, it would benefit you to get confident and feeling comfortable in your skin (easier said than done but just know you aren't the only guy on this journey). I think people have already given you some suggestions for your looks and style in the other threads you have going.

Like you said in your other thread about that girl not liking your pendant - Screw that. You wear that damn pendant if you like it, especially if you got it off tribal hollywood. Do shit because YOU want, never take advice from women.

What is your lifestyle like? I think the key to true confidence has a lot to do with living the life you want and being the man you want to be. Do you have the hobbies and job that you want? Do you have the body and presence that you want? If not, it's time to break down those things and see what you can do to get there.

I made a thread called "attractive/masculine hobbies" somewhere on the get a life board and EthanX posted a good list of cool hobbies that you can consider picking up. All of those things increase your confidence tenfold - I am implementing a few of them right now

Lil hero.  Its not your vision impairment bro.  I've seen all your photos and I can't see it. 

However I can relate to your concern because I have a vision issue too:  accidental headbutt at BJJ  -> detached vitreous -> traumatic cataract -> ptosis (drooping eyelid).  Mine is fucking noticeable and it really bothered me for a while. I had trouble looking women in the eye because I was afraid they'd notice it.  But the Dr said insurance won't cover the surgery so I recently said "fuck it" and just accepted it.  Since then I've met numerous women and I only bother going to the bar once a week.

The thing that is holding you back, IMO, is your inner game.  There's a lack of confidence that you're projecting.  I don't know how to fix that (maybe Chris does) but your looks are fine.  Its your inner game that needs work brother. 

Hang in there, its always darkest right before the dawn.

Yeah you're right. I'm constantly feeling not good enough for anyone. That feeling for years is horrible I can tell you that. I think this comes over as unconfident and lets me act all creepy. Sad, but I don't really know how to get out of that circle.

When I started out talking to girls I had ZERO anxiety no nothing. Of course, I wasn't knowing what I was doing. Now I know a tad more but I can't apply that. I talked to two girls today, but that's not really playing the numbers...

ditto what MD and HXCpr0n said… (and Chris of course)

Plus: if you go change a pendant because some chick doesn't like it then some other chick won't like the new one… transpose that ethos to everything you do and before you know it you're running around changing everything for everyone and pleasing no-one least of all yourself - just like "Indecisive Dave" - The Fast Show - Indecisive Dave

DO and BE what YOU W-A-N-T and fuck everyone else. 'Fuck everyone else' doesn't have to mean "Be a total asshole" - it just simply means "I'm doing this whether you like or approve of it or not" - even if that's your current friends… you'll only know who your true friends are when you start BEING AUTHENTICALLY YOU and people stick around for that… and even then that won't remain static… we're all changing all the time. So live for you.

Start small if that helps… Chris has said many times: Pick ONE thing and focus on that and stick to that until it is down. Then move onto the next thing.

Concentrate on the positive things you ARE doing about yourself and let go the self-criticism. So if you pick "fat loss" as your number one priority then big yourself up for making a positive decision in your life to do that. That is all. The other negative shit about all the other things you're not doing will probably come trying to cram your head instead. Simply acknowledge them as thoughts - that's all they are - and let them go and move back to the positive "I am doing this for me and it feels great!"

Cut out the word "Should" from your vocabulary. Just ask yourself "what do I want?" and answer that question and then take a step towards it.

Listen to people in here. I have. And it has helped with my lifestyle over the last 9 months or so. Even one small example…when I was with a chick the other night (first in quite a while) and we were making out she started complaining about my facial stubble… (I remembered reading in here someone or on the GLL main site about the fact that chicks will do that, but ignore them they don't mean it)… soon enough she was saying how manly it was and then she couldn't stop playing with it. Ordinarily/previously I might have 'reacted' to her initial complaint (probably apologising for it - fucking wuss me), but having read the stuff in here I knew I didn't need to and I thought 'fuck it' anyway. It's a small thing, but it had a BIG impact

Do something that makes you feel good about you. Just one thing to start. Because when you do that - get that feeling good about yourself for something, anything - it gives off a vibe that women find irresistible.

So listen to what people say in here, particularly take advice from Chris (obviously) and the other regulars because they know. Don't just listen/read the advice though… take a step TOWARDS it. If you just read the advice and then think of another question…waiting for more advice you won't get anywhere. Start taking the steps! Pick one thing and do it. then another. you will get there!

Thanks guys for the encouragement.

Lil hero.  Its not your vision impairment bro.  I've seen all your photos and I can't see it. 

The problem is not that there's something 'weird' with my eyes. The problem is that it appears to people that I'm not looking at them but looking past them.

However I can relate to your concern because I have a vision issue too:  accidental headbutt at BJJ  -> detached vitreous -> traumatic cataract -> ptosis (drooping eyelid).  Mine is fucking noticeable and it really bothered me for a while. I had trouble looking women in the eye because I was afraid they'd notice it.  But the Dr said insurance won't cover the surgery so I recently said "fuck it" and just accepted it.  Since then I've met numerous women and I only bother going to the bar once a week.

Wow that's where I want to be. Do you just approach at night or also day time?

The thing that is holding you back, IMO, is your inner game.  There's a lack of confidence that you're projecting.  I don't know how to fix that (maybe Chris does) but your looks are fine.  Its your inner game that needs work brother. 

Of course it is! But it's an endless cycle.

Hang in there, its always darkest right before the dawn.

hope so.