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I was waiting for an anti-fap video on Youtube. The guy stated that one of the pitfalls of not succeeding in quitting is to go completely in isolation and not having anyone to hang out or talk to. I wanted to get other peoples' opinions on this. I don't really have any friends to talk to or go out with. It has been that way for years.
I've been screwed over a lot lately so it is difficult for me to form friendships with people. It is like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop in terms of being screwed over. I also read that people respect you less when you're overweight. I want to work towards getting into better shape, among also learning to be more social and making more friends before going back out there.
However, if isolation going to be my downfall when trying to quit, am I doing it wrong? Is it possible to achieve this by yourself without feeling so lonely that it will drive you to failure?
Interestingly, humans are more like rabbits than bears in that we're social creatures.
I was actually ~depressed over the summer due to lack of social interaction. I'm definitely happier with other people around.
Still, I'd say if you don't feel depressed already being in isolation, don't worry about it too much. Just improve, even by a tiny bit, every day.
Log your journey on here for accountability - and that virtual social spark
I've dealt with isolation and have felt the repercussions of it in regards to my depression. It can eat you up if you're not careful.
I recently went through a break up
and it finally pushed me over the edge to seek professional help in dealing with my depression and anxiety. If it were not for me reaching out to people I trusted, I may have went in a worse direction. What I'm trying to get at is that you should pick up the phone and call someone you feel you can confide into. You'll be surprised at how open people will become once you open up to them. We are all human and experience very similar things in regards to how we view ourselves and issues we struggle with. Who knows, you may end up helping someone else who is in a bad place that may otherwise have gone unrecognized. You'll then build a stronger relationship by sharing your vulnerabilities.
Don't stress about the no-fap stuff. That's too much pressure to put on yourself right now and it is more or less like icing on the cake in regards to self improvement. Build your cake first. Reading and watching a shit ton of self improvement stuff can drive you to neuroticism. Well, at least it did for me. One of the best ways to help boost your overall wellbeing is to start eating right and working out. I know it's like beating a dead horse to hear that, but it is the truth. It's not a miracle method to solving depression, it takes a lot of time and takes a lot of effort, but it is a foundational step that YOU can take to start becoming the better version of yourself. That better version of yourself already exists in the future. You just need to take the steps to fill those shoes. Going to the gym and lifting helped me build confidence and feel a bit more comfortable in my skin for the first time in my life. It also helps keep your life on a routine to achieve small goals that lead to larger goals. You'll then feel pretty damn good when those small goals start stacking up.
As rocket said, I wouldn't stress over the no fap stuff so much. I believe most of these magical benefits of no fap are largely bullshit. Some of these guys promoting it act like if you stop pulling on your dick you'll be able to see through walls or something. Unless it's negatively impacting your life then I don't see the point.
As for the rest of your post, here's the advice I would give a younger me.
Start going to the gym. You said you want to get in shape, so you may as well start now. As someone who used to be called, "skeletor" nothing will improve your confidence quicker than improving your body.
Once you start going to the gym, start asking the regulars for advice. What should you eat, what's a good training routine, how to do certain lifts correctly, etc.
I know that asking the guys that look like body builders, or the dudes who are super shredded for advice may seem intimidating, but often those guys are the most approachable people in the gym. Every time a young dude has asked me for training advice I have always been more than happy to take out time to help him out.
The gym rats will likely be excited about getting to share what they are passionate about with someone else. You can even simply ask them to spot you while you bench press, or whatever, and then ask for advice from there. And now you're not only getting in better shape, but you're also practicing being social. Two birds, one stone.
In my opinion this forum is one of the best places young men could stumble upon when looking to improve themselves. You're lucky you found this place. It changed my life, that's for sure.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.