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So, long story short. Past months been i've been feeling nothing. I'm not sad nor happy. I used to produce music but i just can't feel anything anymore. Could it be because i'm depressed? I don't feel like it tho.
I've been having a 3yr dryspell, which i'm working on with tinder but that shit haven't worked yet.
Also i have close friends, my own place etc. Although it's a small one bedroom studio apt.
I don't eat much either, i'm quite skinny and i don't do much throighout the day cause my job involves me being on a computer at home.
Tinder is working in terms of matches but no dates. I also go tail hunting on clubs but nothing more than a makeout ever comes from it.
My life was similar to this a couple of years ago. Losing interest in everything is a huge sign of depression, It sounds like you need some change, it's better to live a bit crazy than stay in the 'comfortable depression' state. I'm studying music production at uni now and something great about it is LOADS of people want to collaborate. (met a lot of girls who think they can sing, some of them half decent) but the point is meeting new people.. that can improve you. I'd say carry on maxing out your looks, try new activities and don't forget to mention your profession to people along the way
"Anhedonia is a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure."
I agree with the above poster, life changes and meeting people are probably the best ways to deal with anhedonia, I would add exercise as well. SSRI's are not good for anhedonia (and suck in general) but there's some medications which sometimes can be helpful for anhedonia which may be worth looking into if other methods fail or are not enough.
That said, it's something I deal with as well and it's very difficult. Very much a continuous uphill battle so far.
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- Do some looks/edge maxing
- Start and complete the Going Out to Bars program
- (Done) Quit daily kratom
"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." - Friedrich Nietzsche
I think people often mistakenly think of depression as a cause and not a consequence of their actions.
" i don't do much throighout the day "
That's it, isn't it? Even animals get depressed when they are locked in cages with nothing to do. We humans tend to lock ourselves in cages we build in our minds. We get stuck in doing the same things and routines every day instead of trying different things and getting new stimuli. I've found that hanging out with people more and doing things I've never done before makes me happy. It's scary and a lot of times I don't feel like doing it, but it keeps me from falling back into depression. Doing the same things every day kills all inspiration.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
I mean, i used to have big dreams with music but it's all vanished. I try to be spontaneus by trying new activities and risking(i was offered to dj at a local beach bar, never done it but why not and i'll be jumping out of a plane in few days)but i guess what's really messing me up is i can't get any pussy. Makes the most sense.
AboveAvr wrote: I mean, i used to have big dreams with music but it's all vanished. I try to be spontaneus by trying new activities and risking(i was offered to dj at a local beach bar, never done it but why not and i'll be jumping out of a plane in few days)but i guess what's really messing me up is i can't get any pussy. Makes the most sense.
There are many people who do not get any pussy and are not depressed. There are also a lot of people who get pussy and are depressed. There's no direct correlation between the two. The only way how not getting laid can make one depressed is if they set a goal to themselves to get laid, and fail to reach it either because of lack of effort or the goal being unrealistic.
There is a freedom for all of us to assign value and meaning to things we see fit. It's wise to choose the things we assign value to carefully, so as not to drive ourselves unhappy for no reason. If you choose to value getting laid, you better go out there and do it. The best thing is to focus on small goals at a time, otherwise the mission will seem daunting. For example, if you're not currently getting laid at all, it would not be smart to decide that you will not be happy until you get laid a specific amount. Instead, I would suggest on focusing on small daily goals at a time, such as approaching 1 girl today, and if you can do that, congratulate yourself and be happy about it.
Happiness, really, exists in the moment and not in the future. The thinking that "once I'll achieve this and that thing I will be happy", is only smoke and mirrors. For me it's helpful to sometimes think of all the things in my life I can be grateful of. If I don't do that, I'll easily slip back into the depressive cycle of thinking about all the things that are wrong. A positive mindset leads to positive results, while a negative mind only brings forth more negativity.
Think about it this way: which man will a woman find more attractive? One who isn't getting laid and is depressed about it, or one who also isn't getting laid, but has a positive mental attitude. That's not to say one can't get laid being depressed (I've done it), but it's really pointless to allow the fact of getting laid determine your happiness.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
I get what you're saying but i don't feel like depressed, at all. But i'm still confused as to why i feel emotionless. I guess i want to experience sex, love and hate again to recharge myself. I was thinking about joining a boxing gym and maybe buying a workout program with better diet.
AboveAvr wrote: I get what you're saying but i don't feel like depressed, at all. But i'm still confused as to why i feel emotionless. I guess i want to experience sex, love and hate again to recharge myself. I was thinking about joining a boxing gym and maybe buying a workout program with better diet.
Clinically, depression isn't the same thing as feeling "sad". It certainly can be, I know that I feel sad when I'm depressed. But, they aren't the same thing.
Depressed is more of a descriptor to represent people who find themselves with extreme apathy and no energy to do the things they would enjoy doing.
The older I get, the more I notice that people who aren't following their dreams are almost all depressed. There's something about wanting something and NOT going for it that just fucks up your soul.
You don't need to be a rockstar, by the way. Why don't you start spending lots of time around the music scene in your city? It's not too late to start a local band and become part of the music in-crowd. It'd also help you find women who are into you.
I have a bit of the same thing. I play 5 instruments and music was always supposed to be a big part of my life. I wanted to be a rockstar for a while, and I was pretty damn good for an 18 year old. But, life got in the way.
However, here I am at 26 and I'm getting back into the music scene in my city and I plan on joining or starting a band soon just for fun. You don't ever need to put a limit on music, man.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
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