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I used to feel like this, all of the time, from about age 14 to 24. I hated everyone (including family members), I fantasised about hurting people, I hated women, I wanted people to die for no reason. I hated the world, I hated the universe, I hated existence, I hated being alive, I hated that other people were alive, I hated seeing people happy. I was full of pain and hatred and anguish and violence.
Seriously. This is not something you can just magically fix on your own. "I want to simply grab a guy and beat the shit out of him with my bare hands" is NOT healthy thought.
You deserve better, mate. I've known you for a long long time now, you're a great guy. You can't walk around feeling this hate and this anger. TRUST ME when I say it's fixable - I fixed it, so can you.
Do one of these:
- Seek a counsellor/psychologist
- Read "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought", this book:
- Google "anger management" groups in your city
- Tell all your friends about it (ALL of your friends, literally tell as many people as possible. "A problem shared is a problem halved").
You can't keep feeling like this, and it should be your number one goal to fix it.
Seriously; it's far more important than gym, getting girls, going to uni, your job, your family, moving into your own apartment, everything. It's the MOST IMPORTANT thing you need to fix, because it's affecting your entire reality.
I have also made the decision recently to try to find somebody to help with my mental health. Right now I'm looking at counselors because I feel like most psychiatrists will just try to prescribe SSRI's right away and that's one of the few drugs I won't fuck with. I feel pretty good about it actually. I use to think of it as "losing" but now I realize what a self-defeating idea that is.
I used to have anger like that for a long time and I also had that same feeling that it wasn't me. I would try to keep it up for as long as I could and use it productively, but it would always crash. I think I was projecting frustration with myself. Not sure. At some point it went away and was replaced by empathy, strangely enough.
Is there anything that makes you feel normal? I'm lucky enough to have a temporary and kinda shitty solution to my health issues, but I'm using that and working backwards to see if I can figure out a real solution.
- By 2020: Reach 190lbs, <18% BF (@ 155lbs est. <10% BF)
- By 2020: Lift Goals: Bench - 270lb, 1 Arm Row - 150lb x 3, Leg Press - 450lb,
- Do some looks/edge maxing
- Start and complete the Going Out to Bars program
- (Done) Quit daily kratom
"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee." - Friedrich Nietzsche
At the end everything ends up being black or white
Thank you received: 435
I.did not get your temporary solution.
I get mad when things don't work my way.
I get really pissed off when girls reject me or care a shit about me.
I am so fucking mad because I felt for a girl that was falling for me... But my stupidity took me away and now she lost it for me.
I even hate myself. For not being in shape, having a job I don't enjoy as much as I would want to, having parents that their advice will always be "go to church", living 2 hours away from work, not being a player, not being smart enough.
Many things... I don't know how I ended up seeing only the wrong things in me.
I barely see any good. The good I see no one else's see it, or they just use it for their own good. (Family)
I am taking a shower right away and go out to approach.
Hope things go right.
1- Get to 70 Kg BF (15%)
2- Well paid job (Done)
3- Possitive mindset and happy default state (done)
4-(2/90 days without porn)
Some of the stuff that you are describing are legitimate reasons to be angry, having a shitty job, an unsupportive family. The problem with self-help and fitness kind of solutions is that they are generic, you really have to treat it case by case.
So I fully encourage you to go see a professional and ask for help, instead of doing self help because it only takes you so far. But at the same time don't be complacent like 99% of the people that go to a therapist, screen him, see a couple if you have to. Don't take everything they say as a matter of fact "Your problem is this, you should do this, you should do that", they can be full of shit too.
I know exactly what you mean with being angry at girls when they ignore you, SPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE COOLER/BETTER LOOKING THAN THEM, like, we do all this immense effort to improve our bodies and social freedom and then we have to deal with this average girls that don't make any effort to improve themselves and they feel so entitled to our penises and they don't appreciate the fact that we are paying attention to them. It's like they don't know that we are lowering our standards to hook up with them. It is really frustrating.
Dag. I completely understand how you are feeling. 100%.
I too felt that way for most of my life, peaking in my late teenage years and subsiding greatly since my mid-20s when I started to take action after embracing the GLL lifestyle.
Sometimes I still feel like this (like getting flaked on after date 3) but its far rarer.
I second the notion diet could be linked to this. Your gut is a hotspot for your mood because of all the serotonin and foods your body doesn’t agree with probably will have a major effect. For instance if I eat or drink anything with wheat (beer for example), I will like a serial murdered for the next week. Take N-A-C every day and perhaps follow some elimination diet till you find out which foods mostly agree with you. Get a skin test and test for allergies. Perhaps a blood test as well.
Kind of a metaphor for your mood when you eat something your body hates haha
Also worth considering the following which I have tried successfully:
- Remove yourself from an environment where you are miserable with people who make you miserable. Audit your life and ruthlessly cut out the people/things that bother you and lower your quality of life
- Hit the gym or if you get sick if that try MMA – like Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I think this could be a game changer. So humbling and exhausting it can really change the way you feel and help pacify a lot of that neuroticism.
- STOP reading websites or newspapers with clickbaity material that makes you feel bad. Whether that is feminist drivel tabloid articles in journals and the news which is almost always dominated by the left wing mainstream. Or MRA anti-feminist type websites which will just piss you off at women more. This was a game-changer for me
- Try not fapping for a long period – I personally feel more confident, calm and stable and there is this sense of satisfaction from being disciplined over long periods of time. You can do this for alcohol, coffee, smoking and any other addictive drug. From your signature I see you are on that anyway so kudos brah!
- If you are finding the majority of your rage coming from negative experiences at nightclubs (let’s face it, women don’t behave well in such places at all) consider sacking it in and focusing on online and day cold approach.
- Related to diet again, try and keep your blood sugar as low as possible to keep insulin levels low and under control. Blood sugar spikes make it far harder to regulate your mood.
- Give money to charity. Seriously. 5% of what you make for example. Blackdragon recommended this and I have to say he is on the money. It really does make you feel amazing.
- Get a heavy punch bag in your house and smash it until you exhaust yourself. I don’t have this situation sadly but one in the gym will do it.
- Consider taking a 2 week trip to South-East Asia and bang as many cute girls as you can. Every man who has worked himself stupid trying to max himself out deserves to know how it feels to be Chad once in a while. This helps me get through all the flaking and rejection which as we all know is incredibly emotionally taxing.
As for shrinks and counsellors, I cannot comment as I never saw any. I think shit like SSRIs should be entertained only as a TOTALLY last resort when all else has failed. I am very happy I never went down that route.
I'm not sure what the best approach is because we aren't doctors so like Kill said, you should seek a counselor if this is really bothering you and you want a real solution.
I can't speak for being angry ALL the time but I go through many very low lows and I've been at the point where I get really angry and think to myself some pretty violent shit. I've always made it my goal to try and be happy in the moment because without that what's the point of having tons of chicks, or tons of cool shit if you aren't happy inside??
If you watch Dan Bilzerian's interviews, the guy literally has everything anyone could ever want. If you look at anyone's fantasy, you can't help but to think that their dream life is some sort of variation of what he has. Objectively the hottest girls in the world, fame, tons of money, nice houses, a private jet, a new continent every other week and now some new cannabis company that will more than likely pop off.
But the most important thing in his interview is that all that shit doesn't make him truly happy anymore. A super hot chick for us would make us feel like a 10/10 but for him it would feel like a 6 or 5.
This is why no matter what you're doing in your life, you need to focus on being happy with who you are in the moment. No amount of chicks, a super jacked body or material possession is going to change how you feel inside.
You need to find happiness in chasing all of these things. Make it a goal and enjoy the process because once you achieve it, then what?
Some things I do to try and avoid super low lows.
- I write down three things I'm grateful for, every day. Make it different every time. We have clean drinking water, shelter, heat, and fucking AC... People in different countries are just happy to have food on their plate that day. The last thing they're worried about is getting chicks. (I'll write mine down right now.. I'm grateful for... super clean fresh air, a beautiful neighborhood and this laptop I'm using right now)
- I avoid alcohol and massive drinking binges. I will drink from time to time but I find that if I drink each weekend or I drink heavily, I get extremely depressed 2-3 days after. It makes me doubt everything I'm doing and I don't need that. Save drinking for super special occasions. Have 1-2 if you're going to drink that day.
- Always exercise (which I'm sure you already do) but make sure you always exercise 3-5 times a week
- Lastly get some nutrients in your body. Whether this is some greens powder or a salad once a day, it's important to be healthy. If you're not healthy, you're not happy.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.