TOPIC: How to stop being angry and bitter

Ashamed to say that I am almost a 30 year old virgin, no social life, no friends and working only a part time job.

From my high school years right up to my twenties I have always known as the quiet, shy good guy with no girls being interested in me and pretty much unfuckable due to the way I look (nerdy, glasses, asian), gonna be made worst cause am getting adult braces to fix my underbite and then getting jaw surgery .

When girls give me pretty obvious signals of attractions to talk to her, I have no idea what to do because I have always been indoorsy and inexperienced.

Although am constantly self improving (gym, adult braces, jaw surgery, going to get contact lenses and better fashion sense) and hoping my 30s will be my best years, I cannot stop being angry, bitter and depressed when I see guys that are a lot younger than me who have a lot more experience with girls.

The worst thing is, they will post their "conquests" on social media and it will make me so depressed.

I know its counter productive to think about the past and I channel that resentment and anger in the gym. But I still feel useless and depressed seeing these young good looking guys that are better than me in girls without having to work as hard me just to stand a chance.

Missing out on the whole hook up culture sucks and a part of me feels as if I will never make it.

How do I stop this anger, bitterness and depression phase even though I am trying and doing everything to max out to become the best version of myself?

Welcome to the forum!

First an answer to : how to stop being angry and bitter
the answer is : do something, action

Read GLLs posts about goals, and how to set them up. If you are a virgin, that is probably the most frustrating thing for you (guessing from experience). Read how to get laid in 5 weeks even if you are a virgin, it is part of Roosters Online Dating guide.

Also, you contradicted yourself in your post. You called yourself 'unfuckable' and then in the next paragraph said that sometimes girls show interest in you. You say you are going to the gym, that's good. It is the best way to improve how you look. It sounds like you are taking steps to improve yourself, so you will see improvement. Sometimes it takes a will to actually see your improvement after it happens, don't give up.

Try the AA program, its probably the most famous part of GLL and for good reason.

One part of your post is incorrect and disrespectful. "...seeing these young good looking guys that are better than me in girls without having to work as hard me just to stand a chance." Do you really think that those guys have it easier then you? No man, they had to work hard to get where they are without a doubt. They would tell you the same thing, no one is different.

Don't be ashamed of who you are dude, just keep working and you will improve all round including self-confidence. Try keeping a log somewhere in the forum, might help with accountability and support.

Good luck!

Hey loser8, the only advice that I can give you is this: delete your social media and stop looking at your friends achievement, that will make you feel like shit.

Haha not my thread, but yes too much social media is detrimental.

It's difficult to stay positive sometimes knowing how far behind you are and how many opportunities were missed.

But am still going to try, but try a lot more. I have no choice.

Haha not my thread, but yes too much social media is detrimental.

woops, wrong name! haha. FIXED

man take it from a 23 year old with like 20-30 lays youre not missing out on as much as you imagine. I was basically a virgin until 19/20 and my imagination made the other side look amazing. Listen Im not going to lie to you its been fun and Ive lived out a lot of my fantasies and have some good stories. But at the end of the day I'm still 23, low income, living off the government, studying a degree I dont really like at university in a place Im not that happy.

Cherish this time in your life because you will achieve your goals one day if you put in enough effort and then you will look back on this time with envy of your younger more hungry and inexperienced self. Use the anger and bitterness as fuel. And throughout time it will get less and less as you get more experienced etc.

But real talk Im still angry and bitter sometimes about shit and I know I can get laid - not so much about women but just the general stupidity of the average person around me. Maybe you should be happy you're angry, bitter and depressed (not saying youre depressed but I certainly struggle with it) because if you were perfectly happy floating around in la la land you would be a happy virgin with a mediocre life lol

Hey there,

First of all let me say that I completely understand you. I myself was a virgin until 20 and I lost that virginity to a fat girl. To this day, I can't say that I've been loved or in love. Right now, like yourself, I'm very insecure.

I think there are three important things to keep in mind:

1) You're not alone. This community was built by people like you and a lot of successful people have felt like you are feeling.

Action: Read about others' experiences because you're not unique.

2) You can change your situation. It is easier to be happy while being successful than while not. I don't think there's anything I can say or anything you can read or any kind of realization you can get that would that will make you happy. This is a practical problem and you have to solve it by being successful.

My advice: start a log, set one main goal, and work towards it. (e.g AA program, fitness, or something like that)

3) Average is easy to beat. If you take consistent action on a daily basis, then in few years you will become above average almost 100% guaranteed.

Those are just my 2 cents

loser8 wrote: Ashamed to say that I am almost a 30 year old virgin, no social life, no friends and working only a part time job.

From my high school years right up to my twenties I have always known as the quiet, shy good guy with no girls being interested in me and pretty much unfuckable due to the way I look (nerdy, glasses, asian), gonna be made worst cause am getting adult braces to fix my underbite and then getting jaw surgery .

When girls give me pretty obvious signals of attractions to talk to her, I have no idea what to do because I have always been indoorsy and inexperienced.

Although am constantly self improving (gym, adult braces, jaw surgery, going to get contact lenses and better fashion sense) and hoping my 30s will be my best years, I cannot stop being angry, bitter and depressed when I see guys that are a lot younger than me who have a lot more experience with girls.

The worst thing is, they will post their "conquests" on social media and it will make me so depressed.

I know its counter productive to think about the past and I channel that resentment and anger in the gym. But I still feel useless and depressed seeing these young good looking guys that are better than me in girls without having to work as hard me just to stand a chance.

Missing out on the whole hook up culture sucks and a part of me feels as if I will never make it.

How do I stop this anger, bitterness and depression phase even though I am trying and doing everything to max out to become the best version of myself?

As others have said, get off social media. People only post their best moments, so you think that everyone's life is awesome but in reality, their life sucks, too. They just spent an hour getting the perfect shot to make you think otherwise

Also, you're right; you missed the train, you suck. But guess what? That's in the past, and you can't change it. Ever.

Let me ask you this, is it useful to think negative thoughts? How does thinking negatively about your past and present help you in any way? I'll answer that question for you: it doesn't. Discard what isn't useful - that applies to thoughts, too.

I was in your shoes once, too. Didn't lose my virginity until 21 years old (not quite 30 but trust me, when everyone else is talking about getting laid, it sucks) and here I am at 25 with 55 lays. I still find things to complain about. Depending on your natural personality, you're probably either naturally negative or naturally positive (or somewhere in between). The key, like I said, is to tune out negative thoughts because they don't help you in any way. If you're like me, and can always find fault in things (I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing since you find ways to improve things), always have some sort of challenge you can work on, to keep yourself motivated and to give yourself a reason to not hit the snooze button on your alarm 5 times before you wake up.

At one point, I was so depressed that I didn't leave my room for an entire semester.

"It’s hard to keep going in the wilderness. You can’t? Then lie down and die. Humanity is a battalion, and no one is going to carry you into the promised land. You either march on with all the cruelty to yourself and others that this calls for, or you give up and are swallowed by oblivion together with all your hopes"

Keep it moving bro. We're all gonna make it

The best way is to get laid to get that it wasn't such a big deal after all.

^ THIS

What helped me to stop being angry in a nutshell:

1. Be angry - if people try you, put these bitches in their places (but don't overreact, know who is serious and who not).
2. Buy a boxing bag for your home & a pull-up bar to always be able to immediately deal with your anger.
3. Go to the gym more than you usually do.
4. Destroy things
5. Scream

Bitterness only goes away when you are working towards your goals and remember that you can not control other people.
Acceptance is key.