TOPIC: Please , explain to me what the fuck is wrong

Hey guys.

I don't really know where to begin.
First I want to say that I'm sorry for this rant.

But I feel like utter shit.
I need to vent out.
More then that I feel ashamed.

Let me tell you the whole story.

A week ago , I met a girl in a bar.
Hot , brunette , smart (or at least she seemed so).
Anyway you can read the report I made.

Long story short , she played hard to get the whole night and in the end I got a blowjob.
Here's the link : www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/lay-repo...ntures-bj-crazy-girl
After that I tried to set up a date.
She responded a day after my text saying she couldn't make it.
But the same night she asked me what I was doing.
We ended up getting a quick drink in a bar with friends of her.
She asked to play low and so I did.
I tried to kiss her when we were alone , she turned her head , smiling saying that it would be too easy for me now.
Anyway we had a good time.

The following night (it was yesterday night) , we checked up , I was at party in bar with friends of mine for a birthday.
I was dressed classy , in a suit.
Looked fucking good (or I think so at least).
Around 2 in the morning we went to the "best club" in town where we had reserved tables and bottles.
I asked the girl to come.
She asked me if she could bring a few girl friends , I told her it was not a problem.

So she comes with 2 of her girl friends , I make them pass without paying in the club.
We sit down.
I set her friends up with my bestfriend and another friend of mine (gotta look out for my boys).
When we're in much smaller group I try to kiss her , but she turns her head , saying something like "not now".
Anyway I enjoy the party , make sure that my friends are isolated with the girls.
And now , my girl checks up on one of her "friend" who was in the club.
The friend is a guy , who I know smashes quite a bit since he's a good friend of my bestfriend.
He's a cool dude actually.
Anyway , the girl keeps evading me.

End of the night comes.
One of the girls propose an after party at her place.
You can guess what happened.
I had set up the girls with my boys , and my girl was with her friend.
Man it hurts to write this.

I learned from my bestfriend , that the guy had already fucked the girl before months ago , but she was weird or some shit apparently.

My bestfriend was distraught because of me , I reassured that everything was fine and that he should fuck one of the girls extra hard tonight for me hahah...
They went on their way.
My girl insisted to say goodbye to me.

Now the funny thing is , this morning my bestfriend called (I sent him a text saying I felt like shit and ashamed for caring like this).
He told me , that after they went to the appartement , the guy who was with "my" girl , got quickly out saying that the girl was rude/crazy.
She did some coke apparently.
I don't think he lied to me , he swore that it was true.
Also my bestfriend didn't fuck his girl for some funny reason , in the end she was weird in bed haha.
Also , this morning , when "my" girl and the girl my bestfriend tried to fuck spoke and at one moment she spoke my name saying like "oh shit Plisken" (Plisken's not my name but you understand) but he couldn't hear the rest.

When I got home , I fucking cried like a faggot.
I fucking punched my car , couldn't close my eyes without picturing the girl fucking some other dude.
For some reason I liked this girl.
Everytime I give the slightest of fuck , the girl slips trough my fingers or some shit.
Everytime.
And it fucking hurts. I feel dirty and used. I feel tired of this.
I feel like she came , just for the alcohol and the party I could provide.
And dumped me on the sidewalk like a motherfucking rat.

I'm not mad at the guy , he's a cool dude , I'm mad against myself.
I'm mad against this number games , mad against this girl.

Am I not good enough? Am I that fucking low ?
I fucking hate myself for writing this.

Lately my life has been going to shit.
Family torn apart , encountering tremendous difficulty in my personnal projects , studies boring me to death , you name it , everything is going out of my control.
I feel powerless.
And now this girl slips trough.
I just wanted , a small win.
A little win.

You know , I take rejection better these days , but what happened last night , when she chose him instead of me , it was too much to bear.

I'm a funny guy , I'm a happy guy , I make people feel good , feel great , make them pass an amazing time , I help people whenever I can , I fight for all those things and deep down I'm a romantic , but now I feel broken.
I want this part of me to die.
It sounds so fucking emo to write this shit.
But that's how I feel.

In some twisted way , I want the girl to apologize for yesterday.
It's not cool you know.
I'm direct , I'm agressive , all the usual GLL stuff , she knew what I wanted.
Hell stuff had already happened between us two.
So what the fuck.

What the actual fuck.

So in my thread, Shanghai Bobby mentions something important towards the bottom of the page:

www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/lay-repo...irl?start=252#279657

Girls will almost always choose to hook up with a guy they have already been hooking up with, over a guy they just met. Regardless of what this girl or anyone says, I'm guessing she'd been fucking that guy since before ya'll ever started meeting. Nothing you can do about that, girls are usually only infatuated with one guy at a time. It's all about the timing, there wasn't anything you could have done to make her like you more.

Regardless, this highlights a big problem with your girl life. This is exactly what happens when you aren't talking to enough girls. You get super attached to a girl after seeing her just a few times. If you were seeing 2 other girls, you wouldn't give a shit if this girl left with some other guy. You need more women in your life so you don't stress about these things.

Now I'm aware that it's not as simple as "just get 2 more girls bro!". But, it kind of is. It only takes about a year to get good with girls, if you go at it full force. It sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate, and you may just not have time to prioritize your sex life right now. However, if your sex life is super important to you – and it sounds like it is – maybe it's time to think about changing your priorities and making some drastic life changes to make it happen.

---

In general though, you got attached to this girl waaaay too quickly. If you see someone 3 times, think about it: you barely know them at all. Really no reason to upset about her hooking up with someone else. I would understand having that reaction if it was your monogamous wife of 5 years, but a girl you just met? This article is for you, Chris addressed this topic perfectly:

www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/how-...to-girls-too-quickly

I've seen your photos in your other thread. You're a good looking guy, and can certainly get laid from cold approach or tinder, you just need to talk to more girls. If your location is a problem (not a population of at least 1 million) then you need to get out ASAP

Bad Idea Bear wrote: So in my thread, Shanghai Bobby mentions something important towards the bottom of the page:

www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/lay-repo...irl?start=252#279657

Girls will almost always choose to hook up with a guy they have already been hooking up with, over a guy they just met. Regardless of what this girl or anyone says, I'm guessing she'd been fucking that guy since before ya'll ever started meeting. Nothing you can do about that, girls are usually only infatuated with one guy at a time. It's all about the timing, there wasn't anything you could have done to make her like you more.

Regardless, this highlights a big problem with your girl life. This is exactly what happens when you aren't talking to enough girls. You get super attached to a girl after seeing her just a few times. If you were seeing 2 other girls, you wouldn't give a shit if this girl left with some other guy. You need more women in your life so you don't stress about these things.

Now I'm aware that it's not as simple as "just get 2 more girls bro!". But, it kind of is. It only takes about a year to get good with girls, if you go at it full force. It sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate, and you may just not have time to prioritize your sex life right now. However, if your sex life is super important to you – and it sounds like it is – maybe it's time to think about changing your priorities and making some drastic life changes to make it happen.

---

In general though, you got attached to this girl waaaay too quickly. If you see someone 3 times, think about it: you barely know them at all. Really no reason to upset about her hooking up with someone else. I would understand having that reaction if it was your monogamous wife of 5 years, but a girl you just met? This article is for you, Chris addressed this topic perfectly:

www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/how-...to-girls-too-quickly

I've seen your photos in your other thread. You're a good looking guy, and can certainly get laid from cold approach or tinder, you just need to talk to more girls. If your location is a problem (not a population of at least 1 million) then you need to get out ASAP

Thanks man , I appreciate the fact that you answered , it helps.
And I get what you're saying.
It's true.

And you know it's not the first time I get attached like this , it happened like 2 times in the past , everytime with a girl with which a little stuff happened and who were exactly what I wanted in a girl (one was a model , like real model in Vogue magazines and all , and the other a girl who I met in my college).

And it's funny because everytime I get "attached" like this I begin to stop thinking abut other girls , like I fucked some chick from a club 2 weeks ago , slept with a tinder chick (she didn't want to fuck haha) , kissed what felt like a dozen girls , etc etc

But last week when I got blown by this girl , I couldn't stop thinking about her and quickly forgot about all the others.

I got a lot of stuff to deal with lately , parents divorcing , medical operation of a very important person in my life , won't get too much into details but well life you know.

And so I quickly latched unto this girl.
I don't really know why.
Perhaps because she was fucking hot and wild.
I've to admit that , a few hours ago I sent her this snap (she hasn't opened it yet)
"I tought you were more classy , could have said that you didn't find me attractive and that would have been it"
(fucking cringy heh?)
I don't even know she found me attractive or something , at moments my head is going a bit stratospheric with this.
Driving me a bit crazy.
(I have a little problem with validation ahahah).

I know it's just some chick I've met a couple of times and I act/think like a needy kid , but even tough I try to rationalize it hits me right in the face.
Even now , I'm torn between anger and lust , I feel like I need to fuck her to move on.
I'm not mad about losing A girl (I've lost plenty and didn't give a shit) , I'm mad about losing THIS particular girl.
I know it's stupid and I have to drill into my head that it's a number games , but still hard to let go sometimes.

About my sex life and priorities.
Well I approach a hell lot more since February (I don't take time to write about it) and my AA is manageable.
For financial and family reasons , I have "strange" logistics.
I live in a big house with my grandparents (who are very cool with me) 10 minutes from the city by car.
Also quite a sizeable portion fo my time is devoted to my lifelong project.
The city has like 1.3 millions habitants , and is quite young , so it's good.

Next year (September) , I'll change a lot of stuff.
Get my own place , will make things easier (I know that I missed a few lays because of my logistics , still it's not an excuse).
Make a hell of a racket , going to piss a lot of people.
I don't want to mess things up , I'm a bit afraid to be honest.

Anyway , thanks for the pep talk.

But I still have to ask.
What I should I do about this girl ?
Don't worry I'll go talk to other girls , I'm way too mad to say focused on her.
I won't be stupid and ignore your advice , I'll try to get laid with other girls 110%.

But like I said , I feel like I need to smash her , smash her so hard , she won't be able to walk for a day.
And go on my fucking merry way.

Should I forget about her ?
Hit her up in a few months?
Call her on her bullshit ?
I'm still a bit lost on this specific matter
I know that she hangs in my favorite bar , so I might see her there , I don't know how to react.
Also the dude who she banged previously but didn't last night (getting confused hahaha) will be there.
Don't worry I won't hit them or anything , but how should I be? What should I do?

Well sending that text severely reduced the chance of her having sex with you again. It might happen, I don't know, but reacting to her hooking up with someone else will make her very hesitant to stay involved with you.

My vote is for you to move on and forget about this girl. Your urge to fuck her one last time and then bail will probably end up a wild goose chase. She knows she has all the control in the relationship at this point, and she may string you along for a while knowing that you're desperate to get with her one last time.

At any rate, don't have any more conversations with her about this incident. If she brings it up just change the subject, nothin good can come from it! When a girl you're seeing hooks up with another guy, you have to just ignore it. The two of you aren't monogamous, so there's no real justification for lashing out when she fucks someone else. She really hasn't done anything wrong, ya'll both have completely freedom.

If you wanna try to chase that lay with her, you can, but it'll most likely frustrate you and distract you from bringing in new girls.

Well I'll follow your word and move on.

By the way, I'm not mad that she hooks up with someone else , heh I couldn't care less , I just mind when it's right in front of my face while she was supposed to see me heh , but anyway ,like you said , gotta move on.

Heh maybe she'll never open the snap and never see the text haha.
And if she does and answer , well I'll just say something along the lines "forget about it" seems good?
Or I could delete it and she would never see it.

Also one last thing what do I do if I see her ? Act like nothing happened seems the way to go , no ?
Thank you again.

No don't say "forget about it", just don't respond.

The idea is to avoid looking butthurt. If a girl is being dramatic with you, just don't respond to them. Saying forget about it is the same as saying "I'm still mad at you". In fact, saying "forget about it" seems even MORE butthurt than saying "I'm still mad at you", lol.

And yes, if you see her again be nice and polite, like nothing happened.

Remember, you don't need to respond to girls when they text you. If you don't like the direction a conversation is headed, just don't continue the conversation.

Hey bro,

Can't write too long (busy and planning to write a post of my own anyway) but i can commiserate with ya, i also

1) get attached TOO easily
2) generally fuck a lot of girls
3) but again i still get attached TOO easily
4) maybe not as serious as your situation but got a lot on my plate (law school, upcoming competition for debate) that tbh i feel guilty about since i think i've been prioritising my sex life too much. i know the mantra of GLL is not to feel bad about prioristiing sex life, but competition is in a month and i feel like i haven't been taking it seriously enough bec been hitting up the numbers game

anyway just wanted to say you're not alone but the advice given here is pretty solid. i find myself always returning to GLL