TOPIC: I feel powerless every time a girl rejects me

Everywhere I go I keep seeing all of these hot girls who either are taken or reject or I fail to connect with even when I try the best I can to pick them up. I feel so powerless and yet pickup is supposed to be about feeling empowered confident and knowing that u are doing the "choosing." Yet, no matter what I do or how hard I try I never feel like I am doing the "choosing" because 90% of the time I fail. It really takes a heavy toll on my psyche every time I try flirting with a girl, every time I approach a girl who's a complete stranger, every time I am on a first date with someone, or even a second date with a girl, every time I am on a dating site like Tinder, every time I never hear from a girl again. Every single moment with pickup and dating is really taxing to me. It's so fucking exhausting! The even worse part of it is that I can't adapt to the psychological demands of all of this so well. FUCK!

Seems like you have a lot of AA. Stop posting different post here and stard make changes TODAY. I would recommend AA. You will not ever choose because this is the girl who are choosing. Only rapist chooses every time
How many approaches do you do? I guess it's 2-3 at max. Until you are able to approach 10+ chicks a day, you are result depended. Try AA program.

Only rapist chooses every time

HAHA. I read this in an Russian accent and it was hilarious. This belongs on a plaque in my apartment.

There's truth to the saying "cold approach isn't for everyone". I'm a very stubborn person and when I get something locked into my mind that it's gonna improve my life I focus only on that one thing. For me I thought cold approach was the solution to my life's problems for the longest time. I would force myself to go through approaches even though it always ended up causing more wounds to me than it healed. Sure there were times I felt empowered, but the sordid feelings of guilty conscience, insecurity and rejection always came back to haunt me when I was by myself. It was very hard for me to accept that maybe there's more things wrong with me than just my sex life.

It reads to me as if you might be suffering from depression and lack of confidence in other areas of your life as well. People like me only tend to remember the bad negative stuff and instantly forget the good stuff that happened. Thus exposure therapy doesn't work the way it's supposed to and you'll never get to that empowered level. I now believe in the saying "first things first". You should feel happy and confident with your life as it is before starting cold approach. If you look at the most successful people like Hunk or Bad Idea Bear - they were already happy before they started doing this. Look into yourself and figure out what it is that's causing the most of your unhappiness and be honest about it, then start fixing it.

And I'm not writing this off some pedestal thinking I'm better than you or pretending to know all. I might be totally wrong. I'm really just writing about myself. That's the only story I know for sure, and if I write enough posts about it then maybe someone can identify with it and get something out of it.

Here's something that will help take the pressure off you when approaching. Don't view approaching as a test of your manhood or anything like that. View it as gathering data. Treat it as an experiment in which you're trying to see what girls like. This takes all the emotions out of it so you won't feel any emotional attachment to any rejections. If you treat it like an experiment, then you'll see that girls aren't really rejecting YOU they're rejecting SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, whether it's how you look, or what you're saying, or what you're wearing, or something. Go out and do the approaches as an experiment. Approach a few girls using the same line, same outfit, same body language, same everything and see what your results are. Then the next day change something up (the way you're dressed or the opening line you use) and take note of the reactions you get and compare it to the previous days results.

Bottom line: Don't put pressure on yourself by treating it like it's some big test of your manhood. Try to take all the emotions out of it by reframing it as an experiment.

Don't view approaching as a test of your manhood or anything like that. View it as gathering data. Treat it as an experiment in which you're trying to see what girls like.

This. As a proper nerd, I can contribute some specific things that helped me on AA drills:

1. Numbers. I either counted my approaches in my head or took a note on the phone after every approach (like "10 - usual dismissive walkout", "11 - positive on first 2 questions, then walkout" etc. Doing this really helped to cool my head after harsh answers from girls.
2. Concentrating on something specific about me, not the girl. Example: throughout the drill, I kept returning my mind to how shiny the metal zipper head on my coat looks.

This takes all the emotions out of it so you won't feel any emotional attachment to any rejections.

Let's not go nuts. From my experience - things listed above were a good mitigating factor, but they didn't outright remove dejection feelings and all that crap.

Oleg wrote:

This takes all the emotions out of it so you won't feel any emotional attachment to any rejections.

Let's not go nuts. From my experience - things listed above were a good mitigating factor, but they didn't outright remove dejection feelings and all that crap.

True. A bit of hyperbole. Obviously it won't "completely" remove the feeling of rejection, but it will certainly lessen it. Basically what I was trying to say is that he shouldn't view the girls as rejecting HIM per say, but rejecting SOMETHING ABOUT HIM. And it's true. These girls don't know anything about him. All they have to judge him on is what he is saying and what he looks like and how he acts. These are all things he can change and improve.

not sure if that would be AA because at least he is approaching

Welcome to the game OP. It really depends on how horny you are and want to get laid. Having a chip on your shoulder from not having much or any sexual success in your younger years definitely helps. Just go out and do it. Once you get laid the empowerment and confidence stuff comes because you just lie there knowing that YOU made it all happen - you took what was yours and so in a sense you did choose her.

ya they always say part of being a dominant guy is taking what you want, sounds like they are saying the guy is doing it by force, as for made it all happen, ya thats why its guys who need the reference, not women.

N1cetouch wrote: Seems like you have a lot of AA. Stop posting different post here and stard make changes TODAY. I would recommend AA. You will not ever choose because this is the girl who are choosing. Only rapist chooses every time
How many approaches do you do? I guess it's 2-3 at max. Until you are able to approach 10+ chicks a day, you are result depended. Try AA program.

in mammalian biology they even mention it is the female, not the male, that chooses her mate, but oh well, to each their own, gotta accept what we are dealt with.

Technically women AND MEN choose their mates, it's just that men choose faster and are less picky so it just seems like women are the choosers. But in reality we screen out a lot of girls almost instantly just based on their looks.