TOPIC: Wife treats me like a bank can't brink my self to divorce

I dont know where to begin. We have been together for 10 years and married for 6. We have two childer together and that makes it even tougher on me. In the past I was a college jerk who treated her like shit. Once our first chikd was born I grew up and became a man and treated her like a princess.

For my work I travel alot and have only really seen her and my kids 2 out of the last 5 years. She has not been faitfull to me at all. I kniw of at least 20 times she has slept with other people via fb messages and text messages. She has multiple profiles on sites like tinder, okc, meet me, and craigslist where she claims shes in an open relationship or getting divorced.

I have confronted her about this and she says its because she cant for give me for the past and has no connection with me. She wanted me to feel all the pain i put her through. To make things worse the guys she sleeps with are low lifes who do alot of drugs or just smash it and leave. I have never cheated on her. Infact, if I go out to bars or strip clubs im always in a bad mood and cant enjoy myself because I think about her. I have only dated two other girls before her and only slept with one other. Since all this started happening I have developed severe PE and cant last more than 25 seconds. I thought that was an issue so i purchased promescent and was able to last for 30 mins but she just laid there and complained how long it was taking.

She doesnt work and lives of the money I send her every month. We live in two different states due to my job and he wanting to be close to her friends and family. Emotionally i am depressed but cant say anything due to my job. She says we should get divorced but for whatever reasons, kids, our past, I can't bring myself to do it. I think im to scared to start over and look for girls again. Idk why as im good looking, fit, and intelligent with a great career.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I apologize for any spelling mistakes as my phone is not.correcting them and I havent slept all night.

wow not sure if this is a troll topic but you've only seen your children 2 out of the last 5 years?
No wonder she sleeps around, you're a shitty husband and shitty father. Kill yourself.

Bro, I can definitely tell you, your not the only one. All I can say is, if in fact what you state is true about her cheating that many times and how she's using you for the money, Then you need to muster the strength to get a divorce and move on. Yes, It will be hard but once you get everything started and you accept the facts, it'll start to get easier and easier, trust me. I'm only 25, I've gotten 1 divorce and in a relationship now. I would explain my situation and how I've been beating myself up but I've posted it in my own thread the only difference is mine is about insecurities upon myself. I can relate to your story for the fact my ex-wife lived off my money for 3 years when I was active duty military and now I'm jobless, going to college, have 2 kids, don't know what I want out of life, and paying child support to my ex-wife that has a job 100x better.

steve50, there was no need for that. You can't assume someone is a shitty father or husband If he's the one bringing the only money support to the table, what is he supposed to do? He's working to support his family and cheating wife.

Would you say that military personnel that get deployed are shitty husbands and fathers because their not around their kids?

She obviously doesn't want to be with him nor loves or even cares about him or even supports him.

(I'd only agree with you if in fact this was a troll post.)

Really go kill myself? I was in the military as an officer for 6 years and now i work for a contractor. I have a job that requires constant overseas travel and work all over the US providing support and training to military members. As far as my kids gi I see them as often as I can and pay way more than state child support would require. I also talk to them on skype multiple times every day. On average i get to see them two months a year. I have looked for a job closer to home but the pay is not there to support them.

limitlessKo wrote: steve50, there was no need for that. You can't assume someone is a shitty father or husband If he's the one bringing the only money support to the table, what is he supposed to do? He's working to support his family and cheating wife.

Would you say that military personnel that get deployed are shitty husbands and fathers because their not around their kids?

She obviously doesn't want to be with him nor loves or even cares about him or even supports him.

(I'd only agree with you if in fact this was a troll post.)

I personally have no respect for men who 'provide' for their family thinking they're doing them a service while in reality the wife and kids just want the husband to be home spending time with them. And yes I do believe that people 'fighting' for their country and leaving their scared family behind are assholes. If you really care more about your country than your family then you shouldn't have a family in the first place. It's one of the most selfish things you can do. What happens if you go to war and you die, what's going to happen to your family then? You think your kids are going to grow up as healthy human when their dad was more interested in a war that killed him instead of taking care of his family?

steve50 wrote:

limitlessKo wrote: steve50, there was no need for that. You can't assume someone is a shitty father or husband If he's the one bringing the only money support to the table, what is he supposed to do? He's working to support his family and cheating wife.

Would you say that military personnel that get deployed are shitty husbands and fathers because their not around their kids?

She obviously doesn't want to be with him nor loves or even cares about him or even supports him.

(I'd only agree with you if in fact this was a troll post.)

I personally have no respect for men who 'provide' for their family thinking they're doing them a service while in reality the wife and kids just want the husband to be home spending time with them. And yes I do believe that people 'fighting' for their country and leaving their scared family behind are assholes. If you really care more about your country than your family then you shouldn't have a family in the first place. It's one of the most selfish things you can do. What happens if you go to war and you die, what's going to happen to your family then? You think your kids are going to grow up as healthy human when their dad was more interested in a war that killed him instead of taking care of his family?

Dude, smack yourself please. Give him a break, he have been thru alot lately. You're probably just a fatass troll who has no life whatsoever. Try to control yourself.

OP, i think you should divorce. You're making situation worse every day. Nothing's gonna change if everything remains the same. I think you should consider a GLL lifestyle for now on. Atleast until you're sure about the next girl you're gonna marry.

I'm going to echo the advice to get a divorce, if only because you might be slightly more likely to actually do it with three people telling you to rather than two.

Good luck!

steve50 wrote: wow not sure if this is a troll topic but you've only seen your children 2 out of the last 5 years?
No wonder she sleeps around, you're a shitty husband and shitty father. Kill yourself.

Get out of here with that talk.



Divorce her man. Get it done. Figure out a way to cut ties with her immediately.

Thank you for confirming once again why I will never get married.

By the way, you didn't "treat her like shit" in college. She's gaslighted you into believing that you did.

steve50 you just seem to amaze me. Who said soldiers care more about their country than their families? I guess you don't know much about the military. The military tries to make it family oriented as possible, why? Because, yes we have to leave whether it's training or deployment. It's a job that actually takes care of you and gives you some of the greatest benefits for us non-rich folk. I've been in the military going on seven years now as an infantryman and military police and every moment I get I spend it with my family. I'm not being a prick because I have to leave for twelve months, it's part of the contract you signed. The more you spend and create that strong bond with your family the less harder it will be when you do have to depart. The only part I can agree with on your perspective is the war. Yes, This current war is bullshit, I've been there and experienced the stupidity it presumes, so dying for that is without cause.

The biggest thing I don't like is the disrespect towards the military and automatically assuming we are dicks to our families.

Not going to vent anymore, enough said.

In the past I was a college jerk who treated her like shit.

..and what did she do? She was attracted to you. She had sex with you. She married you.

Once our first chikd was born I grew up and became a man and treated her like a princess.

..oh, and then what did she do?

She has not been faitfull to me at all. I kniw of at least 20 times she has slept with other people

hmm, OK, and who does she do that with?

the guys she sleeps with are low lifes who do alot of drugs or just smash it and leave.

who are very much like the 'jerk' in college, huh?

Now that you treated her like a princess, is she attracted to you anymore?

to last for 30 mins but she just laid there and complained how long it was taking.

didn't think so.

She doesnt work and lives of the money I send her every month.

Yup, no one wants to fuck their bank, do they?

GET OUT. Trust me, as a child of divorced parents, the very worst part of divorce for the kids is the fucking parents waiting too fucking long to do it when the relationship has already gone to such shit that the bad energy just radiates from the parents all the time and makes the kids all anxious and fucked up.
That was really your only reason for not doing this yet, yes?
You don't want to hurt your kids. You don't want friends and family to look down on you for not doing better. All that. You think the pain and suffering is worth it for that.
It isn't.