TOPIC: Will I ever find an amazing girl who will really want me?

ULTIMATELOSER360 wrote:

Good Looking Loser wrote: try not to think about "1 girl" or "yes/no"

devote the next couple years until you are the point where you know you can get laid

then you'll have your pick of tons of great girls
www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/...oal-you-need-to-have

Thanks for you reply Chris. However, I am in my first year of grad school and I don't know if I can devote the next two years to pickup or cold/warm approaching. I am 28 years old, and by the time I complete grad school I will be 30. Assuming if I did begin at age 30 to devote two years of consistent and dedicated cold/warm approaching in a major city such as LA, as well as continuing to improve my online dating profile, then by the time I've finally developed enough skill to be at the point where "I know I can get laid" I will obviously be 32 years old. By then, will the 18-25 year old girls think that I am too old to date or sleep with them, regardless of how good I look and how successful I am? Or will it still be doable as a 32 year old man, albeit harder to achieve compare to guys who are 18 to 20 something years old? What about for relationships, whether I am looking for either non-committal or serious LTR?

A (normal) guy in his mid-30s who has his shit together, is healthy and takes care of his looks will nail more hot pussy than any (normal) 25-year old guy ever can. Mid-30s is prime time for guys. All the younger girls that are sick of 'boys' and want 'real men' are dying to spread their legs for you.
I'm 46 and yes, I still date women 10-20 years younger than me. I've occasionally hooked up with younger but they are generally too annoying and immature for relationship material.
NO MORE EXCUSES

Okay thanks guys.

Well, I guess I am just gonna have to suffer through 4 years of hell before I ever achieve a healthy social and sexual self esteem/confidence.

ULTIMATELOSER360 wrote: Okay thanks guys.

Well, I guess I am just gonna have to suffer through 4 years of hell before I ever achieve a healthy social and sexual self esteem/confidence.

You're choosing this for yourself.

Damn dude, if you call learning how to fuck girls "suffering through 4 years of hell" I'm not sure what to tell you.

Personally, right now is the most exciting time of my life. Never felt so alive. You take the lows with the highs, its all part of the process.

BIB is right. It's all about how you set the frame for yourself. When you decide to do something that you know is ultimately beneficial for you, you can either hate it or you can learn to love it. Or you can convince yourself that it isn't worth it, which is also known as quitting. Now, I know how hard approaching can be and I've definitely given myself some unnecessary traumas from it. So I get you. I really do. I think all of us do. But anyone who's ever been successful at this will probably tell yeh that it's totally worth it.

There's no such thing as hell or heaven. It's all in your own mind. YOU choose. So which'll it be - heaven or hell?

Sandshark wrote: I think differently from alphabeast. Instead of doing all the mindset stuff, just do 2 things:

1. Look good.

2. Hit on 20 girls per week.

Plenty of resources on goodlookingloser.com and gll-getalife.com to help you do both.

Like NoStringsAttached said, if you care enough you'll make time. Nobody else will do the work for you.

I totally agree with SandShark

And I wanted to also say that I just recently had a friend go through a miserable experience of being switch brands on his medication and felt like shit. But all the Pharmacists and Doctors assume the patient is making it up because it's a controlled medication, just so for an excuse to get different or stronger medication. But in reality he got terrible sick, but other people on the same brand med say it's the best one and the one that works for him is terrible. We're all unique little snowflakes...no homo. And I would totally say I agree 100% that go hit on girls and look good are HUGE.

Because having been a dude who went through a hellish childhood of low self esteem and misery, despite being popular and well liked, I can say with certainty that there are many guys who are so deep down in the dark rabbit hole of self pity, telling someone like that just to go out and start hitting on girls is like telling Terminator to just throw his 1 rep squat max+20 extra lbs and jump right out of bed and squat his max 30 seconds later with no warm-up. Even if he could do it and I know a lot guys that could thanks to their freakish conditioning and constant training, but for the other 98.6% percent of the population that would probably result in a major injury. As someone who trains people and teaches in various contexts I can say for certainty that no one size fits all approach works 100% of the time. This is a frustration I'm battling constantly when I train people on the computer system my company uses. I have to remind myself that just because I'm super fast and effiecient and learned it super fast I can't expect everyone else to be that sharp or expect that they're starting at aptitude level that even comes close to mine. And I get into the same situation with my good friends who have no game but are always asking me for help or advice. What seems super easy or common sense to me, even when I was a newb, seems crazy to them, but sometimes I get frustrated because I wish I could beat the fear and hesitation out of people, which is my biggest frustration. How people are afraid to make mistakes or look bad in front of others so they avoid action, despite it make our lives shitty when done like that.

Speaking from experience if a guy with no self esteem goes and hits on a 1000 girls and could very easily get pretty good just from the immersive learning. But in the end he'll still be a guy with low self esteem who might have built a nice but very frail and thin veneer of manufactured confidence that allows him to follow a very mechanical set of maneuvers to strike and annihillate a selected target. lol (I know because I used to be like that but now I'm solid), OR....unless a person, just like all of us are doing has the massive drive and desire to escape the tentacles of fear, pity for oneself, self-doubt. (if it weren't possible none of us would be posting on here, being cool and helping each other)The Japanese got it right. KAIZEN!

Bad Idea Bear wrote: Damn dude, if you call learning how to fuck girls "suffering through 4 years of hell" I'm not sure what to tell you.

Personally, right now is the most exciting time of my life. Never felt so alive. You take the lows with the highs, its all part of the process.

THIS GUY HAS GOT THE MINDSET DOWN!!! This is exactly how I went from a miserable, feeling sorry for myself that no girls like me to feeling completely solid and 99.9% free of neediness most of the time, but being vigilant to not let neediness creep back.

Girls were miserable to think about when I was in my pre-20's and below. They caused me so much misery. It wasn't until I began to love myself more and look at life as constant challenge like a chess game (because to think about it any other for me anyways is either boring, depressing or both) that I learn from my mistakes and keep advancing, but sometimes take a set back, but it's always on an upward trend if stay diligent. But when I started looking at women as an opprotunity to become my best for the sake of myself, and not anyone else, especially women is when gettijng rejected was actually kind of fun, and when getting stood up, made fun of, talked shit to, dumped, etc. made it funny and awesome because everytime I failed I saw a pattern of behavior that I could see the clear path to change it only thanks to my mistake making the solution much more obvious.

My biggest secret to my success is never give up. Because I've found that most times just when I was about to give up but didn't, but wanted to so badly, success most often times was just around the corner. TRUE TRUE STORY!

Terminator wrote: You know what I think your main problem is OP? Desperation. If it seethes off you even half as bad in real life as it does through your post, you're fucked because no chick is gonna wanna be with you. I'm sorry, but that's the cold hard truth.

As long as you covet that which you do not have, you will be unhappy. Only when you realize that there is nothing lacking, will the world be yours and full of possibility. I'm paraphrasing a man much wiser than me, but it took me years to finally figure this out. Let me explain:

In a couple of years I've gone from a virgin to having 26 lay count and I've had loads of chicks love me unquestionably. It never made me feel any more special. It really didn't. I'm still the same man with the same insecurities about myself. And I recognize the mindset in you - you could get 100 lays and still be unhappy and stressed out about your sex life. You must first learn to love yourself, and only then will things start to fall in place (I'm still in this phase myself).

What I would suggest to you is take a break to realize what you already have. Remind yourself of all the good stuff in life, how privileged you are to breathe the fresh air, have two legs that you can walk with. Taste good foods and enjoy good drink. Visit your family. Spend time with friends. Then change setting - travel somewhere. Experience something new. Life is fucking awesome as it is, 99% of fun happy things you don't need chicks to do with. Don't look at yourself down bro. Admire all the good things in you.

This is probably too philosophical for you so I don't expect you to be able to take this into heart. But some day you'll understand.

Edit: Holy shit, reading alphabeast's post above I just realized something about myself -- the reason I'm still unhappy is I never changed into the person I want to be. I just got laid by taking enough action as my loser self. Ultimately this is a journey into something much bigger - chicks should just be on the sidelines, cheering you on as you win the race that is your life.

And who's gonna cheer for the loser? That's right, no one.

Wait, you guys are all saying that no girl wants to be with a man who feels so sorry for himself and is not happy with his life. Yet, Terminator, u just that there are guys out there who have been unhappy even though they have gotten 100s of lays. So, how do those guys hide those negative thoughts feelings in them while still getting laid so successfully?

Maybe take a leave of absence ultimateloser, if you're this angsty about women I don't know how you're going to be able to focus on graduate work.

Good Looking Loser wrote: try not to think about "1 girl" or "yes/no"

devote the next couple years until you are the point where you know you can get laid

then you'll have your pick of tons of great girls
www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/...oal-you-need-to-have

I am back guys. So I was just thinking recently over what Chris said above ^^. Chris, did u actually mean that if I devoted a couple of years until I am at a point where I can get laid, then I would for sure be able to get laid by girls who are an 8-10 out of 10 in hotness? Or were u not necessarily guaranteeing that, but that after about 2-3 years of serious devoting to hitting on girls then I would be ready to have a good shot at dating and fucking the hottest girls out there?

x

I feel your pain, keep at it man.

How often do you hit the gym? How is your style?

Remember:

Looks + game = results.

www.stallionlifestyle.com/do-looks-matte...hicks-get-girlfriend

If you cannot afford in person coaching that isn't the end of the world. Devote the time to developing yourself and have realistic goals. Working on this solo is hard, there is lots of learning, mistakes, fumbling around, guess work... etc... if you keep at it you will see success. Working solo and hitting on at minimum 20-30 girls per week give yourself at least 3-4 years to get over the guess work and fumbling around. As long as you refuse to lose you will succeed. Make sure to address all of the variables (fitness, style, game).

Good luck bro, keep your head up and keep working at it.