TOPIC: Will I ever find an amazing girl who will really want me?

Guys, I've lately been so stressed out over my dating and sex life. I've only had sex twice in my life at the age of 28, and each of those girls not only never contacted me back again, but also they weren't even HB8 to H10. For well over a year, I've tried practically everything possible from trying out many online dating websites, cold/warm approaching babes in all kinds of venues, etc. I don't have enough to pay for personal IRL coaching and during most days of the week I don't have the luxury of time to drive to a major city everyday and find and approach at least ten hot girls a day. So far I have approached, both warm and cold, about 250 to 300 girls IRL in total since last year. One of the major reasons, I have trouble sleeping at night is because I have always been so stressed out over trying to figure out how I am gonna find more hot girls who will want to fuck me, date me, and become a friend with benefit. If I did approach 10 hot girls a day for at least 4 days a week every week, then can I GUARANTEE that I will significantly increase my lay rates and date rates with hot girls in due time?

"If I did approach 10 hot girls a day for at least 4 days a week every week, then can I GUARANTEE that I will significantly increase my lay rates and date rates with hot girls in due time?"

You already know the answer to this. Don't ask stupid questions.

If I sell a product do you think I will sell more if I present it to 1000 people instead of 10? Exactly.

"One of the major reasons, I have trouble sleeping at night is because I have always been so stressed out over trying to figure out how I am gonna find more hot girls who will want to fuck me, date me, and become a friend with benefit."

Stop thinking about how you can GET girls like that and start thinking WHO you need to become in order to attract girls like that.

I feel the same way you do. I have had sex with a lot more girls, but I wonder when I will meet that amazing girl with awesome body, beautiful face, cool personality, smart, caring. I tell myself though, that there is a girl out there like that who is thinking of the same thing, looking for a guy like me.

Like Zuberi said, be the best version of yourself, but also be proud of who you are. I think it's something the self improvement community try to communicate but unsuccessfully. How do you have the drive to continuously improve while be at the state of self acceptance? I think Chris GLL adress that by suggesting "DO WHAT YOU WANT". Once you start doing things on your own terms, you start appreciating yourself, but at the same time accepting your own insecurities and continuously strive to improve.

Another valid question you raised is - how do I efficiently screen a large amount of girls for the ones that like me? I struggle with that myself. I know if there are hundred of available girls who are my type sitting in a room. I can just walk in, screen 50 girls in 2 hours, get laid, get a GF. Reality is not like that.

When I read other people's journal, some have awesome logistics, get laid effortlessly, but while other people really hustle.
Bad Idea Bear drive to 3 malls, 2 super markets in one day just to get his 20 approaches in. Hunk often have to drive 30 minutes or more to meet his girls for date, then try to drive 30 minutes to get her back to his place. My city has shitty traffic. After work I am exhausted, then I have to sit through 30-45 minutes of traffic to go to a mall with enough girls to approach.

Of course you got to kill you AA too. I estimate that I passed up 2/3 of the girls because of anxiety. If you kill your AA, the number of girls you could approach will easily double.

If you want it badly enough, make it the # priority in your life. I am planning on doing that. Starting July I am quitting my full time job. This will give me more time to approach girls, go on dates.

You don't grow vegetables in the desert.

If you live in the "desert", time to change location. You HAVE TO live in a big city.

try not to think about "1 girl" or "yes/no"

devote the next couple years until you are the point where you know you can get laid

then you'll have your pick of tons of great girls
www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/...oal-you-need-to-have

ULTIMATELOSER360 wrote: Guys, I've lately been so stressed out over my dating and sex life. I've only had sex twice in my life at the age of 28, and each of those girls not only never contacted me back again, but also they weren't even HB8 to H10. For well over a year, I've tried practically everything possible from trying out many online dating websites, cold/warm approaching babes in all kinds of venues, etc. I don't have enough to pay for personal IRL coaching and during most days of the week I don't have the luxury of time to drive to a major city everyday and find and approach at least ten hot girls a day. So far I have approached, both warm and cold, about 250 to 300 girls IRL in total since last year. One of the major reasons, I have trouble sleeping at night is because I have always been so stressed out over trying to figure out how I am gonna find more hot girls who will want to fuck me, date me, and become a friend with benefit. If I did approach 10 hot girls a day for at least 4 days a week every week, then can I GUARANTEE that I will significantly increase my lay rates and date rates with hot girls in due time?

How badly do you want to get laid? How badly do you want attractive women in your life?

I know for a fact that you're not putting enough effort into meeting women. I live in East LA and I ride to Hollywood to meet girls. Last week, I went out 3 nights during the week and two nights over the weekend. That's 5 days of going out to meet girls.

How many days did you go out last week to meet girls?

Good Looking Loser wrote: try not to think about "1 girl" or "yes/no"

devote the next couple years until you are the point where you know you can get laid

then you'll have your pick of tons of great girls
www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/...oal-you-need-to-have

Thanks for you reply Chris. However, I am in my first year of grad school and I don't know if I can devote the next two years to pickup or cold/warm approaching. I am 28 years old, and by the time I complete grad school I will be 30. Assuming if I did begin at age 30 to devote two years of consistent and dedicated cold/warm approaching in a major city such as LA, as well as continuing to improve my online dating profile, then by the time I've finally developed enough skill to be at the point where "I know I can get laid" I will obviously be 32 years old. By then, will the 18-25 year old girls think that I am too old to date or sleep with them, regardless of how good I look and how successful I am? Or will it still be doable as a 32 year old man, albeit harder to achieve compare to guys who are 18 to 20 something years old? What about for relationships, whether I am looking for either non-committal or serious LTR?

ULTIMATELOSER360 wrote:

Good Looking Loser wrote: try not to think about "1 girl" or "yes/no"

devote the next couple years until you are the point where you know you can get laid

then you'll have your pick of tons of great girls
www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/...oal-you-need-to-have

Thanks for you reply Chris. However, I am in my first year of grad school and I don't know if I can devote the next two years to pickup or cold/warm approaching. I am 28 years old, and by the time I complete grad school I will be 30. Assuming if I did begin at age 30 to devote two years of consistent and dedicated cold/warm approaching in a major city such as LA, as well as continuing to improve my online dating profile, then by the time I've finally developed enough skill to be at the point where "I know I can get laid" I will obviously be 32 years old. By then, will the 18-25 year old girls think that I am too old to date or sleep with them, regardless of how good I look and how successful I am? Or will it still be doable as a 32 year old man, albeit harder to achieve compare to guys who are 18 to 20 something years old? What about for relationships, whether I am looking for either non-committal or serious LTR?

There's a forum member that is 40 years old I believe and he dates young girls. I think his forum name is "Smooth Operator". Anyway, you're making too many excuses. You say you want to get laid but you don't want to put in the time and effort. If you really wanted to get laid, you would make time, even with your overbooked schedule.

"IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH A 10 YOU HAVE TO LIVE THE LIFE OF A 10"
A ten doesn't want to date a man who can't sleep at night because he's anxious over women. And let me be clear, I can totally relate, I've been there, for years, so I mean that with all due respect. But think about it, is the man you are today, and this requires a very sober and honest assessment of yourself and your life which can be very painful for many of us, myself included. Is your day to day emotional state, financial state, career, living situation all congruent with the life of a man who is at the pinnacle of his life or on a solid and clear path to one? Emotional state being probably the most important, because you can be broke, living with your mom, even taking the bus, and still get laid and date hot women. It's all about the context and how you are perceived and how you let other people frame you. You can take two exact copies of the same person and everything being the same from the clothes, house, car, appearence, etc, but they both have different attitudes, the man with the super positive attitude, as if every day he's just focused constant improvement. Always setting goals, assessing, setting a new goal, moving forward, growing. Taking every failure as a gift, so grateful and appreciative of all the massive failures, because those are where the golden nuggets of unlawful carnal knowledge lie.

Your situation is actually pretty simple and can be resolved in less than 30 seconds. Just shift your frame around how you view women, yourself, your life, you goals, you successes and your failures. Change everything that you think you know about all of it, reframe everything to be aligned to your singular goal and purpose in life, what ever it may be. Reorient your thought patterns and self-talk to that of a dude that gets laid. A lot. By Hot Women. Go look up and read about, BE. DO. HAVE.

Become that person you want to be in your mind now in thoughts, deeds and actions as if you already are that person, and you will become that person. Essentially fake it till you make it. When I was really struggling what helped tremendously was to think of myself, in a lighthearted sense, almost like I'm actor playing the roll of a Cassanova or Don Juan. This allowed me to take on the thoughts, actions, beliefs, ideas, mannerisms etc., without the cognitive dissonance of not believing that I'm really that good or on that level yet, but still being able to act it out if only as a fantasy, that played out in real life ultimately.

Imagine yourself as a beautiful women who has the world at her fingertips and she met you and you wanted this women to be your girlfriend, not just a one night stand. What kind of life would you like to see yourself living that this women who you are imagining yourself as would see in you to want to sleep with you, be your girlfriend, and maybe even get married, is your life there now? If no, why not? Are you on a very solid, and clear path to get their in a predictable amount of time? Would you say you are and live the life of a 10 equal to that of the type of women you desire?

When women can see in you what you should see and believe in yourself first in order to be that man that you know you need to be before you can finally be at the level you truly desire.

x

You know what I think your main problem is OP? Desperation. If it seethes off you even half as bad in real life as it does through your post, you're fucked because no chick is gonna wanna be with you. I'm sorry, but that's the cold hard truth.

As long as you covet that which you do not have, you will be unhappy. Only when you realize that there is nothing lacking, will the world be yours and full of possibility. I'm paraphrasing a man much wiser than me, but it took me years to finally figure this out. Let me explain:

In a couple of years I've gone from a virgin to having 26 lay count and I've had loads of chicks love me unquestionably. It never made me feel any more special. It really didn't. I'm still the same man with the same insecurities about myself. And I recognize the mindset in you - you could get 100 lays and still be unhappy and stressed out about your sex life. You must first learn to love yourself, and only then will things start to fall in place (I'm still in this phase myself).

What I would suggest to you is take a break to realize what you already have. Remind yourself of all the good stuff in life, how privileged you are to breathe the fresh air, have two legs that you can walk with. Taste good foods and enjoy good drink. Visit your family. Spend time with friends. Then change setting - travel somewhere. Experience something new. Life is fucking awesome as it is, 99% of fun happy things you don't need chicks to do with. Don't look at yourself down bro. Admire all the good things in you.

This is probably too philosophical for you so I don't expect you to be able to take this into heart. But some day you'll understand.

Edit: Holy shit, reading alphabeast's post above I just realized something about myself -- the reason I'm still unhappy is I never changed into the person I want to be. I just got laid by taking enough action as my loser self. Ultimately this is a journey into something much bigger - chicks should just be on the sidelines, cheering you on as you win the race that is your life.

And who's gonna cheer for the loser? That's right, no one.

Terminator wrote: You know what I think your main problem is OP? Desperation. If it seethes off you even half as bad in real life as it does through your post, you're fucked because no chick is gonna wanna be with you. I'm sorry, but that's the cold hard truth.

As long as you covet that which you do not have, you will be unhappy. Only when you realize that there is nothing lacking, will the world be yours and full of possibility. I'm paraphrasing a man much wiser than me, but it took me years to finally figure this out. Let me explain:

In a couple of years I've gone from a virgin to having 26 lay count and I've had loads of chicks love me unquestionably. It never made me feel any more special. It really didn't. I'm still the same man with the same insecurities about myself. And I recognize the mindset in you - you could get 100 lays and still be unhappy and stressed out about your sex life. You must first learn to love yourself, and only then will things start to fall in place (I'm still in this phase myself).

What I would suggest to you is take a break to realize what you already have. Remind yourself of all the good stuff in life, how privileged you are to breathe the fresh air, have two legs that you can walk with. Taste good foods and enjoy good drink. Visit your family. Spend time with friends. Then change setting - travel somewhere. Experience something new. Life is fucking awesome as it is, 99% of fun happy things you don't need chicks to do with. Don't look at yourself down bro. Admire all the good things in you.

This is probably too philosophical for you so I don't expect you to be able to take this into heart. But some day you'll understand.

Edit: Holy shit, reading alphabeast's post above I just realized something about myself -- the reason I'm still unhappy is I never changed into the person I want to be. I just got laid by taking enough action as my loser self. Ultimately this is a journey into something much bigger - chicks should just be on the sidelines, cheering you on as you win the race that is your life.

And who's gonna cheer for the loser? That's right, no one.

Damn that really helped me out. Good stuff bro.