TOPIC: feel like i have no purpose in life

is this the reason for anyone else's depression? it got really bad 6 months ago when i graduated and started working. all i do now is go to work, come home, lift, then distract myself with video games or tv shows or movies or something like that. before i was worrying about grades, exams, money, getting a job. now that i have a job i can afford rent and food easily and i don't really have anything else i want to buy, i have a badass PC, a tv, a car (nothing special but i only use it to drive to the gym, store, and work) pretty much the things i need to distract myself or do my daily tasks. when i was at university i didn't really meet any girls. in fact i met only 4 girls that talked to me in the 4 years i was there and they were all neighbors (except 1 who got a job at my internship because the boss wanted to bang her).

i went out on tuesday to some concert and the whole time i just felt out of place, there was no happiness. i didnt even want to talk to girls because i wasn't in a good mood and couldn't even smile. alcohol did not help at all. i don't have a challenge in my life anymore, i program for a living and i know how to cook all of my favorite meals, i know how to lift, i don't know what to do to challenge myself. i keep hearing suggestions like 'play an instrument' or draw or paint or learn another language but none of those things are fulfilling to me, i can't see how i would use them in my daily life at all.

reading this on the wikipedia depression page really hit home:

From another viewpoint, a counseling therapist may see depression not as a biochemical illness or disorder but as "a species-wide evolved suite of emotional programs that are mostly activated by a perception, almost always over-negative, of a major decline in personal usefulness, that can sometimes be linked to guilt, shame or perceived rejection".[99] This suite may have manifested in aging hunters in humans' foraging past, who were marginalized by their declining skills, and may continue to appear in alienated members of today's society. The feelings of uselessness generated by such marginalization could in theory prompt support from friends and kin. In addition, in a manner analogous to that in which physical pain has evolved to hinder actions that may cause further injury, "psychic misery" may have evolved to prevent hasty and maladaptive reactions to distressing situations.[100]

i feel like i have no use anymore, i just write code for my boss and save the money he gives me that i don't spend on food and rent. i can't think of anything that i could do besides lifting that is actually constructive, useful, and rewarding in of itself. everything just seems like a distraction or useless trivia that i will never use, and i can't really manage to make social gains because when i go out all girls see is some grouchy dude who can't have fun for some reason.

i signed up for a paid depression study and tomorrow i'm going to the doctor to see if i'm depressed, if so they will prescribe me something for 8 weeks and if it doesn't help i will be eligible for the study. it's supposed to be free so it can't hurt. i am thinking wellbutrin could help

Wellbutrin has helped me but there are many anti-depressants and it could take a while to find the medicine(s) that are right for you. If you have money or insurance I would really recommend not trying to save a buck on the treatment, seek out a psychiatrist who can help you find medicine that will help you and find a good cognitive behavioral therapist. Research shows that CBT is effective at treating depression, and it has helped me. The idea is that your brain is plastic and can be trained to think more positively with a little effort. The biggest thing I've learned over the years is that depression will not go away on its own, you have to fight it.

As a programmer, you have lots of options for places to work so you can probably find a more fulfilling job if you wanted. You can always do personal projects that are related to your field of interest in your free time to buff up your resume to help get a different job.

Life is meaningless and everything ultimately is just a useless distraction, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life still! You just have to "train" your brain to appreciate/enjoy things more, which is difficult but proved possible and effective.

Hey man I have been there, I'm not a doctor or a shrink but if what you wrote is the truth, then YES you are depressed. Have you had depression anxiety obsessive disorders or events in the past, a family history of such? As I said I know how it goes, your going through the motions doing what you should be doing or at least what you think you should be doing, but everything just has a meh tint of melancholy to it ... a flatness. Lets start with getting on a good antidepressant not all work the same and you may have to try a few to find what's right for you. One medication may work wonders on one person and do nothing to the next guy.

Your serotonin is likely so low and jacked up from being depressed, that yes feeling worthless and depressed is the norm. You brain is in a survival mode operating on what's produced, very little serotonin not at the "normal" levels. So feeling like everything is worthless no happiness no hope is the norm for your brain. Its operating as best as it can on what its given. You lift. So liken it to going to the gym everyday and lifting then pounding down 3 big macs a 2 liter of pepsi & a bag of cheetos as dessert and wondering why your not getting fit or seeing gains. Your body is operating on what its given not what it should be. In fact when starting meds you will most likely experience mood swings mood destabilization out of the blue emotions both sad and good due to the meds starting to work and your brain has been in such a bad state that it will fight the meds to try to keep your serotonin at what it considers "normal" which in reality is obviously very little. Only when you're feeling better will you look back and see how sick you really were, like shit man those were dark days I cant believe I lived like that. Its not going to be overnight but you will get there.

Id also recommend seeing a well recommended shrink sometimes it helps to talk and make sense of things.

Surely you have greater dreams goals and or aspirations then going to work gym and home for the next 50 plus years. However I suspect what wrote that was the depression and not really you (hard to believe but you will understand once you feel better).


Good luck my man and im/were here for ya, keep us posted!

What you're saying is that your depression is actually caused by something (lack of purpose) and is not a chronic mental illness you can't shake, yet you want to start taking pills for it? Bad idea. Taking meds is going to mask a problem, not solve it. You'll just be a doped out little bitch making your boss money, but you might smile a little more. Big life improvement, sure.

Lets not over complicate this. It is simple.
Problem - Depressed because you have no purpose
Solution - Find your purpose.

No if's or buts. Thats it.

I don't know what your purpose should be and it won't be easy to find but it is that simple. Solutions don't have to be abstract and complex.

Before you start popping pills, let me suggest something. Stop wanking. The best chemical a man can have in his system is testosterone. I've had periods in my life just like you and let me tell you that having a full tank of testosterone will make you superman. Any anxiety or depression I had was cut by at least 70%.

One more thing. You signed up for a paid depression study? Look where your focus is. Depression depression depression rinse and repeat.

I know it's difficult. I've been there. It can and will improve.

I'll give you non-bullshit advice about what I did. Now I am transferring to another university and feel a bit depressed by expectations.
For me, it was the problem of testosterone.
I started edging(wank without cumming), and after few days I felt like some testosterone wolf! I met some girls from city that I move on online. There is no depression now. I know that when I move on, there will be some chicks that are willing to meet me.
Seriously, try to edge and meet some girls. It will be a huge difference.