TOPIC: Making up for lost time at almost 40

I'm 38yo now and single most of my life because of social anxiety and low selfesteem issues, while I have improved considerably in recent years, in part with help of GLL community, I've missed out on so much in life I often feel it's too late for me to still experience it all. I did this improving all on my own, which is hard when no one understands my struggle, I have to dig deep to keep myself motivated. What I need a motivational kick up my behind from you guys or whatever you like to tell me that I'm on the right track ... or the wrong one just please be honest

Why it took me so long to 'wake up' ....
- severe selfesteem and social anxiety in my teens till my 30's
- little experience with girls because of this, had only one girlfriend for 2yrs
- no college degree because my insecurities made me drop out early
- no degree negatively effected my working career in IT and my confidence getting any degree whatsoever
- being comfortable with watching porn and tv-series for a lack of sex and social life
- severe onenitis for 12+ yrs with a girl (solid 9) I was in love with ,were still best friends now

What I've achieved so far in the past 2 yrs: shedding 60 pounds with running, diet and weightlifting, improving my looks, enhancing my dick, going out (alone), doing AA drills, online dating (but no lays yet), meditating, no porn/less fap and reading a lot of selfimprovement stuff (Redpill and GLL). So now my social anxiety is almost gone but the inexperience with women is still there, albeit less. My superhot best friend remarked recently that I'm so confident, cocky and sociable these days her female friends have a tough time adjusting to the 'new Me'
Though my career is still a huge problem area and my finances are very unstable which makes dating women very uneasy, I do get physical but I bail making the next move because I believe I have nothing to offer them without having a stable job. Does not having a stable income matter to you guys when dating and/or fucking women ?

Dude,
I understand many of your life patterns you exposed here.

So, let me compare notes on what somebody that is not me (SWIM) know.

Lets say SWIM had periods of depression. Or anxiety. Or unsettling life situation.

SWIM understands your story.

Now, SWIM seems to "give a fvck a bit less" of similar problems than before.Good!
What works with SWIM is that SWIM got a superhot girl buddy (No, SWIM and her do not fvck.They understand each other in that journey of souls, go out, sometimes her get something, sometimes SWIM..and the others are guessing where we are haha..you got it).

Things are not better than before, given the outside view. Simply, SWIM gives a fvck LESS. By his mind being less strained like a guitar string, it works a bit better.

Also, K can make SWIM a bit more opened - feeling a bit of tickling positivity from inside (approx after 2-3 hrs after ingestion). Not for the sake of even approaching the state of getting uncontrollable and high - that would mean wasting Conciousness. Your consciousness or, better said, perception, need to be as clear as it can be. Clear of ANY major negative feelings. If you got that, wel, get antidepression or antianxiety stuff from here to give you some ideas before you can get consistent results.

In the evenings, when the situations are sexually charged, SWIM found being well-rested, good mood, and communicative crucial for ANYTHING. Ferocious might be a plus on top of that "operating system".

Listen to Chris when he says along the lines that things must be made more simple.

SWIM found some of his notes experientially and experimentally by taking one quarter of an extasy (xtc, adam, x..) pill, while at the same time, being a strong opponent of any unnecessary ingestion of drugs including antibiotics. In that period, in a single incident, SWIM felt like his heart was Opening after a long time being locked up and put to sleep.Also, feeling was very pleasant and SWIM wanted to enjoy the environment, and, connected with that, started communicating his desires to the hottest women out there, while taking it lightly even when offended (but the pussy not going away- confronting and wanting for a comeback - a clear sign she is aggressive,horny and want to be fucked by you if you impress on her that emotion of being fearless and light on your feet).

Faking that mindset for SWIM is hard. He have to BE the embodiment of it.
So the point is to remind yourself of your potential greatness and GO FOR IT.

So better do AA drills or something - BUT if it breaks you inside and gives you a pile of AA instead of releasing it long term - take a notch down to get to your calm center. Then continue.

No risk no profit yes.

SWIM WAS APPALLED BY THE AMOUNT OF HOW FORWARD HOT GIRLS LIKE TO GO WHEN STIMULATED PROPERLY, from a heart but also LEADING IT somewhere as Chris has given us his experience.

So, look good, be light and carefree about it when you are out, have a great feeling inside and Share it-until she comes to you somehow.Then just snag her.

SWIM must say this is not tied to any drugs - BUT; sometimes, the related experience, if you are smart, can give you a direct pointer how it is when you are just right.
(Being dependent on drugs, while NOT actively solving your shortcomings is a psychological problem and laziness in my opinion. I strongly oppose to that. A doc would say the same. Or a logic.)

SWiM thinks you need to build that chemistry of a brain via life experiences and trainings gradually over time so that your body supports you for your life.

Otherwise, just stay as you are.

Manifesto (c)2015 "StepUP" et al.

My place is really cheap and a dump. I compensate by making it look as good as I can and as clean as I can. I am trying to get laid not a relationship. Consider lying about your occupation. Say you are saving to start a business; this is why you live frugally.

Remember that you are trying to get sex (pretty harmless). They are trying to get a relationship to slowly and increasingly trap, control, and neuter you till you die (literally). They seem sweet but their instincts are far more ruthless.

Try and look as young as you can and hit on the youngest girls possible. women your age are a fucking nightmare.

Realize that someday very very soon you will be dead. Fucking cold and dead. You have wasted a lot of time, which is the most valuable thing anyone can have. You do still have a little bit left, are you gonna work your ass off, make a lot of money, and fuck a lot of women? Or are you just gonna be that one guy who tried? Only you know the answers to where you need to go and who you need to be in life. It's time to get serious.

I feel your pain, you're getting older and that can cause anxiety thinking about what you didn't do. They guys before me gave good pointers and I would say similar, do whatever it takes yo achieve what you want.

NO don't break the law lol but there are things out there to help you, go through all the forums on this site and I guarantee you yo will find something helpful. Building a social circle and or joining a organization or team would be my advice.

Surya,

I’m 38 as well.

I can relate to a lot of what you’re talking about in your post. Most of what you wrote could have been my biography.

Congrats on dropping the fat and changing a lot of your life.

The only magic bullet – game changer I can offer is testosterone replacement therapy. If you’re not on TRT already, I strongly recommend looking into this ASAP.

TRT won’t solve your financial matters, but it will give you the focus, drive and motivation necessary to do so.

Combining GLL with TRT gives you a whole new life.

What's up Surya. I'm 33. That's what drew me to this site. I felt me & Chris' life were similar in so many ways. We were born the same year, graduated the same year, went to college for 6 years, and were late bloomers with women. A little over 2 years ago, I asked a dating/relationship expert the same question you had about money and women. At the time, I was 30, under-employed and living at home with my mom. I submitted a question to his website and he answered it for me. Here's the link: mrlocariotv.com/2013/04/23/should-you-da...nces-arent-in-order/

Please remember...you're not old. You're only in your 30's. Statistically speaking, a young adult is 20-44. You still have time. You've already made improvements with your body, going out alone, etc. The point is that you are trying and improving. The women will come.

WE ALL TRAVEL THE SAME PATH, BUT WE DON'T ALL GET THERE AT THE SAME TIME!!!

What's up bro!

First of all, I'm not quite clear what your goals are. Do you want to fuck a bunch of girls or do you want to find somebody? Because it seems like right now you have the ambiguous goal of "getting better with women"

You're only 38, it might seem late for you but in reality you have a solid 7 years left to hit on chicks before it gets beyond weird (so long as you look good)

I suggest you make a goal such as sleeping with 1 girl for the remainder of this year and sleeping with 20 girls next year and see how you feel after that

Or you can make the goal of looking for a girlfriend, but most of us guys here think it's better to know you can get laid before you get a GF

So if you're going to do that, then I would not let your career and financial instabilities stop you from pulling the trigger in the bed room. Girls looking for boyfriends care about your finances. Girls looking to get laid care about your looks, vibe, masculine attitude, "is this guy good in bed? Is this guy a total pussy?" Etc

I had exactly the same feeling when I was 22.

In only 4 years I made all the experiences I wanted to live. And now I don't feel like I missed something in my life anymore.

surya wrote: I'm 38yo now and single most of my life because of social anxiety and low selfesteem issues, while I have improved considerably in recent years, in part with help of GLL community, I've missed out on so much in life I often feel it's too late for me to still experience it all. I did this improving all on my own, which is hard when no one understands my struggle, I have to dig deep to keep myself motivated. What I need a motivational kick up my behind from you guys or whatever you like to tell me that I'm on the right track ... or the wrong one just please be honest

Why it took me so long to 'wake up' ....
- severe selfesteem and social anxiety in my teens till my 30's
- little experience with girls because of this, had only one girlfriend for 2yrs
- no college degree because my insecurities made me drop out early
- no degree negatively effected my working career in IT and my confidence getting any degree whatsoever
- being comfortable with watching porn and tv-series for a lack of sex and social life
- severe onenitis for 12+ yrs with a girl (solid 9) I was in love with ,were still best friends now

What I've achieved so far in the past 2 yrs: shedding 60 pounds with running, diet and weightlifting, improving my looks, enhancing my dick, going out (alone), doing AA drills, online dating (but no lays yet), meditating, no porn/less fap and reading a lot of selfimprovement stuff (Redpill and GLL). So now my social anxiety is almost gone but the inexperience with women is still there, albeit less. My superhot best friend remarked recently that I'm so confident, cocky and sociable these days her female friends have a tough time adjusting to the 'new Me'
Though my career is still a huge problem area and my finances are very unstable which makes dating women very uneasy, I do get physical but I bail making the next move because I believe I have nothing to offer them without having a stable job. Does not having a stable income matter to you guys when dating and/or fucking women ?

how long ago was this when you were in a relationship with that one girl? Were you in your 20's?

Hey, I understand you well. I'm 36 and had a lot of regret with women and a ton of insecurities in that area. I made no progress until I found GLL and I'm digging myself out of the hole... I'm not a legit player yet but I've had results (2 cold approach 1 online dating) which is way more than I would've got on my own without GLL and more than people who just read this stuff but don't do anything. What I found is that I also have had fear of pulling the trigger for years. I was always playing it safe because of: 1. sexual inexperience (scared of rejection, scared to make a move on a girl that I wasn't in a relationship with, being undersexed for years, depression and regret because of this) 2. insecurities over body appearance and penis size (even though I'm in good shape and average size... a lot of this is due to porn) 3. all around becoming a pussy as I got older (lost all the edge that I had when I was younger). So... ask are you trying to get laid or are you playing it safe? I was "rejected" about 398 times to get the 2 cold approach lays but it was absolutely worth it because I was playing aggressive and I eventually got results. These girls were 28 and 25... I'm convinced that at 38 you can get girls in their 20's no doubt.... then you won't have regrets, BANGING YOUNGER CHICKS SOLVES THE REGRET PROBLEM. So how many girls are you agressively hitting on? Keep talking to girls and get aggressive, you'll get laid. And take boner pills... that helped solve performance anxiety.

I feel like the OP, and it makes me even feel more bitter, resentful, angry, pissed off, whenever people say us guys become more attractive as we age, because it still means we can't change or make up for what we missed out on our teens and most of our 20's, the painful scars, emotional wounds of missing out