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Hi, I posted this in my introduction but I wanted to post it here too. Sorry if this is against the forum rules.
Also, does anyone have suggestions for letting go of the past? I missed out on some key experiences and I feel like even if I work hard, get a sweet lifestyle, and "make up" for lost time that those new experiences won't really compare. I'll just be some older guy trying to experience something I should have done sooner. I'm pretty sure the answer is just to deal with it/forget, but any thoughts would be appreciated.
I guess what I'm getting at is that even once I turn my life around and have the type of success I want, it will just be different than if I were 19/20. Like I won't be able to let go knowing how pathetic I once was. Not sure if this makes much sense. Cheers.
Hey man, I hope you read that, since you haven't gotten an answer until now.
I know what you are talking about - even though I'm only 25. Missing out on stuff can really drag you down and hunt you. I, for example felt that I missed a lot of key experiences during puberty, because I was a (forced) to be a god damn loner. With the energy and health I had back then I could have had sooo many great experiences with girls, but I had 0.
As much as I hate comparing myself to others, maybe that's exactly what you should do. Why? Because tons of people missed out on very great stuff in their past, and they STILL have great lifes. You can make up for some things, you just have to give yourself permission to do so and believe that it is possible. I don't know what exactly you missed out on, but really, most of the things aren't really age related, most of them just need more effort if you are older. But they aren't impossible.
There might be a few things that can't be regained, a few things that might be gone forever. That happens to everyone to a certain degree, no one gets so experience all the things. Focus on what you experienced and where it has gotten you. Even if you aren't where you want to be, your past has brought you to a point where you realized exactly that. Realizing the problem is absolutely great. Now you can change stuff.
It is never too late, as long as you have got your health and a strong will.
Also: You might feel that you should have experience this and that, because you saw others did so, or heard cool stories. But ask yourself: Was it really an experience you wish you had? Or do you just wish to have it because it somehow sounded cool? Would your life be better with it? Would it REALLY be better? Didn#t you have other good things that happened in your life that someone else might regret not having?
You don't need all the things, you need the things you truly want. Everything else can be thrown over board, along with your regrets.
Goals for 2015: -Find a 'healthy' alternative to painkillers (Done!) -Create a Kratom website that generates income (Done!) -Get back to 80kg bodyweight again (Done!)
Goals for 2015/2016: -Reach 90kg bodyweight (Done!)
-Reach 98kg bodyweight (91/98kg)
-Keep a healthy attitude despite chronic pain
-Find a new job
Bro, your 22. You have barely even started out in life, and that's a good thing!
I know it doesn't seem like, because you are where you are, but take it from an old timer, you have so much going for you, starting now, you are far ahead of many other people. However, it's not a comparison to others you need, it's a comparison to your old self as you improve.
Regret: One of the most fundamental places to waste your time and energy. Why? Because it keeps you locked into a past, that you simply can not change. That time and energy should be used for improving your future self.
You are where you are, because you are. A lot of the time, that is influenced by things outside of your control completely, and you have focus on the things that are in your control to make those improvements you want.
Letting go: I don't like to use this term at all anymore, it implies that you are getting rid of something you don't, or didn't want. Rather than that, use acceptance, which is as simple as accepting where you are fully right now, and without judgement, nor regret, but compassion and awareness of just exactly where you are, and then you can focus on where you want to go.
1 - 23 year old, one night stand from bar
1 - Gym buddy lay
7 - Lays from online dates, (4 First date lays, and them some repeated lays after)
1 - Night club long game
1 - 24 year old met through mutual friend
Hey I'm the OP but I forgot my login credentials so I made a new account. I wanted to say thanks for the encouraging words and providing different perspectives. I agree with what both of you said- this stuff only bothers me when I allow myself to think these thoughts! When I'm moving forward, taking action (even just small steps), I feel much better about my life and where I am currently. Also, this is probably common sense but I've noticed a huge correlation between my mental state and my physical health. If I eat healthy, sleep enough, and exercise my body, then things that were bothering me just seem like a non-issue.
I don't want to put much more energy into thinking about this (since it's mostly a waste of time), but for other people having these same types of thoughts it might just be another excuse to fuel your resistance to change. This is what I currently think this "issue" really is.
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