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Depression & Anxiety Discussion
I'm Depressed (General Depression)
Very Lost

TOPIC: Very Lost

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 00:56 #161655

Hey man - I was in your shoes before. I didn't get laid or have a relationship from 2008 to 2010. And then from '10 to '12 I was only sleeping with undesireable women. Since embracing GLL I have climbed out of that hole and I've only begun improving. Chris and Rooster always tell the new guys to figure if u could accomplish one thing this year what would it be and then dedicate 80 percent of your free time to it.

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Last edit: by Johnny Appleseed.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 02:07 #161688

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Not sure where to go from here

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Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 02:08 #161690

Big Sexy wrote: Hey man - I was in your shoes before. I didn't get laid or have a relationship from 2008 to 2010. And then from '10 to '12 I was only sleeping with undesireable women. Since embracing GLL I have climbed out of that hole and I've only begun improving. Chris and Rooster always tell the new guys to figure if u could accomplish one thing this year what would it be and then dedicate 80 percent of your free time to it.

you have a lot to be thankful for OP

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Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 03:32 #161718

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Last edit: by Legendary.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 03:35 #161720

I'm aware that you're looking for an "answer", something that will convince you that you should live with meaning each day.

You're not going to find that magical statement on here.
You have to deal with your depression/sadness before you make any other big changes in your life.

I do not have the answer for you. I'm will enjoy reading about your progress, as you continue to progress.
I would rather not even comment on your thread, because I have no expertise on this. I just want to let you know that people are reading and can sympathize with you, they just aren't saying anything. Focus on your depression and move on from there. There are plenty of reasons to look forward to each day you live, I wake up every day (most of the time) happy and ready to attack my goals.
future hall-of-famer
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Last edit: by KingKratom.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 03:51 #161721

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At my age I realize there is no fix for the outcome of my life. I can't change what has happened and how it has affected me. I would say in a positive light it has given me quite a bit of introspection as my mind has gone to what I would consider the darkest places that a human mind can go.

Kratom I do appreciate what you're trying to do; and no I never expected an answer. Just created this thread to see how many people have seen what I have.As much as i'd like to think it i'm not a special snowflake. I am just trying something new and seeing what direction you guys might have for me.

I don't expect anyone to hold my hand and show me the way; just wanted ideas.

At this point i'm just trying to make it through each day, go to as many classes as I can and try to make the most of my classes. The biggest goal i've had for the last several years is to graduate college.
I'm hoping that the phenibut will help with the lack of social interaction i have with others (beyond school) and maybe that will lead to me to the next thing.
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Last edit: by Legendary.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 03:58 #161723

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Last edit: by rippedsmart.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 04:03 #161724

That's the mindset you should have (i think) if you expect to make changes.

Hey man, I'm going to share this and then I'm going to get off here for a bit, you can take from it what you want…

Most people who are not proud and happy about their past, they always seem to cling onto that and hold it with deep regret.
Regret that plagues them for the rest of their lives.

While the years that I am not proud of (18-23) where not nearly as traumatic as your's, they are not something that I am proud of.
That being said- I do not look back with regret. I do not say, "I am 23, I've done close to nothing of merit in my life, I'm ruined."


I really and truly believe that I'm going to be 10x time the man than I would have been if I had not hit rock bottom.
While your "rock bottom" was a lot uglier than mine, if you manage to climb out of the hole, I fully believe that you'll be an incredible person because of it who will love their life and will be capable of spreading that love to others.

I could have easily been semi-successful with women and have a couple children from multiple women and I could have an engineering job that I absolutely hate and I could have never ever found GLL and DnP and ended up an average mother fucker without ever even knowing any better.



If you can adopt the mindset that hitting rock bottom "can be a good thing" that leads to you becoming a better man than you would have been otherwise, I think that would be a great best place to start.
you named yourself "Legendary" for a reason


well said- Rip
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Last edit: by KingKratom.

Very Lost 28 Oct 2014 16:32 #161819

Legendary wrote: I believe what you're referring to is that the minds EGO will never be satisfied, it is always looking for something/wanting more. One of the main ideas behind being "present" or in a meditative state is to take the ego out of the picture and appreciate what is.

I can agree with your statement on psychology being fkd up as i went to a shrink for over 2 years and after much arguing with me he just wanted me on meds. I said I can tell you that i'm not deficient in ecitalopram or any of those compounds.


haha you can never take the ego out of the picture. This is a common misunderstanding in spirituality.
You'll always identify with things, with yourself, with others, ... and you'll always feel seperate -> not continuously, but I mean throughout your entire life.
Which isn't a problem, it's natural to want more, to never be satisfied, to identify with the physical world, with images/labels.
We're natural organisms, everything we do is natural. Everything is natural. Resisting what is would be unnatural though. even resisting ego.
Accept there will be times you'll be very egoistic and accept it comes and goes.
There's times to be without ego, to let go and to be grateful what everything that is NOW.
There's also times to want more and work hard to get it.
Wanna cry? cry. Wanna shout? shout. Wanna fuck? fuck. Wanna meditate? meditate.
Respect what you want and don't want a 100%. Also respect what others want or don't want a 100%.
gl

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Very Lost 31 Oct 2014 02:16 #162642

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Alright well a few days have passed and I have had time to think.

I would very much like to take this originally negatively oriented topic and turn it into a positive one.

I am writing this trying Phenibut and I must say it really helps me with feeling of well being. I don't have a scale that goes below 1 gram so i'm not sure EXACTLY how much i've taken but i've used it 2 days in a row. (I don't plan on using it consistently but the last 2 days were a sign that it's a great help to get me out and doing shit with my time.) I would estimate I've used about 400-700mg once a day for 2 days and jesus H christ the difference is night and day.

Anyways I'm working towards pulling myself up and making something positive out of a negative. It really comes down to what I choose to focus on.

Just wanted to update.

Thanks for reading.

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Very Lost 31 Oct 2014 21:52 #162840

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Here's my advice, having been where you are.

Those events sound like good conditions for developing PTSD or an enduring personality change. Depression and anxiety while devastating, are simple and by achieving your goals you will eventually wear them away. PTSD and personality change are not. The way they affect your behaviour and mental state is far more complex. I found that even when I achieved some goals, it didn't do anything for me. It's just the nature of the problem - I don't have depression so it's not just me being apathetic to it. It's not being capable of making that goal a part of how you view yourself.

Personally, having (had?) PTSD and BPD I've put a lot of things on hold while I get it sorted and I've only recently started pursuing some of that stuff again. If you want real help, I would suggest something intensive like breathwork or MDMA assisted therapy. MDMA assisted therapy in particular, is quite easy to do with a friend if they can handle what you have to say, in my experience. Even if you don't have PTSD or a personality change, depression and anxiety rooted in trauma is still tough to dig out.

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Very Lost 05 Nov 2014 19:16 #163822

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Do you know of a place where I can get MDMA-assisted therapy? Did you use it as well?

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