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I did it with a friend and we followed the treatment manual.
I don't think you'll get a clinical outcome if you do it yourself but I can still imagine it helping.
Day 21: The past almost feels like a dream now. I know that's only because of how vivid it was before, so it's just a memory like any other. It doesn't really stick out much more than that time I got really drunk and threw up. Flashbacks are gone and it doesn't feel like I'm going to off myself within a year anymore. But like I said before, even though the past itself isn't an issue anymore, it's still had it's impact which will probably be the focus of the next session (in 1-3 weeks).
Serotonin syndrome is extremely easy to avoid. And if you do it weekly, sure it'll fuck you up. But I did it once over a month ago and will be doing it 1-2 more times in the next few months. I might do it again in a year or 2. With the effect just one moderate dose has had on me so far I'm not going to go and blow it by going clubbing and dehydrating out.
Day 38 (or something): Holy fucking wow.
Things aren't really happening by themselves now. So there's no sudden memory which pops up and changes to how I viewed it in the session (hard to explain but that's what happened). But I'm reacting differently to things as and when they come. Here's an example,
Friend says "I love you" (in a friendly way) -> panic attack (yeah, seriously..) -> mind floats back to the session -> realize why I had this panic attack -> realize that in the session I talked about whatever events it was related to with no shame, no guilt, no fear, no nothing -> panic fades, trigger stops being triggering permanently
Have another session with another friend this week.
I feel like I've got out all I could from the last. It was very events focused - x happened, feel better about x, move onto y, reshape feelings about y, move on etc. I think this one will be much more internal and spiritual rather than emotional. Might even get out the old eye shades the protocol asks for.
if you haven't already: check out many videos of Elliott Hulse (catharsis) and Eckhart Tolle (dissasociation with the ego/past self).
-> in my opinion the best video of Elliott Hulse
; If you feel like you've learned everything there is to learn from Elliott and Eckhart, you can also check out: Byron Katie, Ralph Smart, Mooji, Paul Chek, Teal Swan.
That was a strange session. As I've said the last one was pretty biographical, talk about x, feel better about x, talk about y, feel better about y.
This one was much more spiritual. All along the way it's like everything good I've done for myself has had an impact but hasn't really sunk into how I view myself. Well it sunk in.
I'm a lot more stable right now than I was after the first session, probably because so many different memories were being rewired so there's probably just a lot less going on under the hood. But it's by no means any less important.
I've already started noticing brief periods where I'm not hyperaroused (hyperarousal = baseline adrenaline up for no reason). Will update soon.
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Kratom is next!
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