TOPIC: Why do I only ever feel good at best?

I never feel great, amazing, on top of the world, or anything similar anymore. At best I feel a bit above neutral when I'm on top of my shit. Physically speaking, I do everything right- for the past couple months I lifted weights every 2 days, ate a strict ketogenic diet, supplemented with fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium, probiotics, and BCAAs (for the workouts). I cook every last meal and even recently adjusted to have avocado in virtually every meal to ensure enough potassium intake. When it comes to health, I am more than willing and able to micromanage to be as healthy as possible.

This leaves me feeling GOOD, but no more. When I work out, I put in my all and always finish with a shirt completely drenched in sweat, and feel a bit of a post-workout buzz after. But then it wears off and I'm back to feeling neutral to good, a 6/10 at best mood-wise. When I eat a healthy paleo-style meal consisting of chicken, avocado, 35% cream, hot sauce & a random vegetable (say spinach), I feel somewhat satisfied and might even have a similar high to the workout, however fleeting.

Now when I fall apart and stop working out, and eat ice cream sandwiches & reeses pieces instead of meals, I feel fucking horrible, a 2/10. Even healthier high glycemic foods like cherries & blueberries don't have the same appeal anymore, even if the cravings deceive me into wanting them.

Although I know there is more to feeling happy than eating well & exercising, and getting enough sleep, I can't help but wonder why having these things completely taken care of doesn't make me feel a much higher baseline of happiness than I have now. I remember when I was a teenager I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted, big bowls of cereal & pasta, and not feel like I was going to die after a cheap food high. When I go to the grocery store, I see 90% of people buying absolutely shocking amounts of crap, stuff like popsicles, beer, fruit juice, soda, instant meals, basically pure low quality carbs with an odd vegetable or two thrown in, if that. Surely all these people don't feel like absolute dogshit all the time like I do when I eat poorly, do they?

Am I underestimating the power of anxiety & a burdened psychology on the ability to feel happy beyond a feeling barely above apathy? Can chronic stress really fuck you up this bad? Do I have some chemical balance in my brain that desperately needs treating? What the hell is going on here? I'm at my wits end with this shit.

www.ceu-usa.com/courses/Wc001/test_drive/depression_causes.htm

www.holisticonline.com/remedies/depression/dep_nutrition2.htm

Vanguard wrote: I never feel great, amazing, on top of the world, or anything similar anymore. At best I feel a bit above neutral when I'm on top of my shit. Physically speaking, I do everything right- for the past couple months I lifted weights every 2 days, ate a strict ketogenic diet, supplemented with fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium, probiotics, and BCAAs (for the workouts). I cook every last meal and even recently adjusted to have avocado in virtually every meal to ensure enough potassium intake. When it comes to health, I am more than willing and able to micromanage to be as healthy as possible.

This leaves me feeling GOOD, but no more. When I work out, I put in my all and always finish with a shirt completely drenched in sweat, and feel a bit of a post-workout buzz after. But then it wears off and I'm back to feeling neutral to good, a 6/10 at best mood-wise. When I eat a healthy paleo-style meal consisting of chicken, avocado, 35% cream, hot sauce & a random vegetable (say spinach), I feel somewhat satisfied and might even have a similar high to the workout, however fleeting.

Now when I fall apart and stop working out, and eat ice cream sandwiches & reeses pieces instead of meals, I feel fucking horrible, a 2/10. Even healthier high glycemic foods like cherries & blueberries don't have the same appeal anymore, even if the cravings deceive me into wanting them.

Although I know there is more to feeling happy than eating well & exercising, and getting enough sleep, I can't help but wonder why having these things completely taken care of doesn't make me feel a much higher baseline of happiness than I have now. I remember when I was a teenager I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted, big bowls of cereal & pasta, and not feel like I was going to die after a cheap food high. When I go to the grocery store, I see 90% of people buying absolutely shocking amounts of crap, stuff like popsicles, beer, fruit juice, soda, instant meals, basically pure low quality carbs with an odd vegetable or two thrown in, if that. Surely all these people don't feel like absolute dogshit all the time like I do when I eat poorly, do they?

Am I underestimating the power of anxiety & a burdened psychology on the ability to feel happy beyond a feeling barely above apathy? Can chronic stress really fuck you up this bad? Do I have some chemical balance in my brain that desperately needs treating? What the hell is going on here? I'm at my wits end with this shit.

when was the last time you did something fun

meaning - scheduled something - and did it

OP, how old are you?

If you want to feel on top of the world, amazing,...
You also have to be prepared and comfortable with feeling like absolute worthless shit.
You can't have one without the other.

It really depends on what you want.
Maybe you're not ready to feel like absolute shit, or maybe you're scared of feeling like that.
edit:
And I don't mean extremely depressed with 'shit'
Not at all.
Depressed is almost the same as feeling good and okay and fine.

I mean extreme emotions on the negative spectrum: extreme rage and anger (breaking stuff, punching, kicking, screaming), extreme sadness (LOADS of crying like a baby)
-> if you feel those strong 'negative' emotions, you can also feel the strong 'positive' emotions.

When's the last time you screamed or cried?