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For a second I thought Tinder was that gay app, but I must've confused it with Grindr, haha. Anyway, great progress, my friend. I definitely think your balls have grown, don't you think so? Good luck, I'll keep my eye on this journal!
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Lol, thanks! Yes indeed I've manned up quite a lot. Tinder seems like the best online source so far, because the girls are prettier than on dating sites, and they're eager to chat, and I've already pulled phone no:s much faster from it. I still have anxiety about texting and setting up dates tho, which sucks. |
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Day 38 (Genuine but Skeptical)
Locations: Mall, movie theater, bus terminal, streets. What I did: Walked past 2 girls and said "you're cute". Notes: On paper it looks easy enough, right? That's what I thought. I went out too late again and on top of that I was feeling physically shitty. It made me feel really vulnerable to tell someone they're cute. I knew I couldn't do it confidently and would end up getting bad reactions and feeling like a bitch. I knew there was no way I could finish the drills today so I set a goal to just do it even once. I wandered around the mall for like an hour, letting the frustration build up, and then went to a movie theater, which was almost empty as well. In the end I finally mustered enough courage to walk past a pair of girls and tell the other one she's cute. I got a lame "thanks.." as a response. Not the worst thing though, right? After that I felt relieved and did it again on a woman at traffic lights. She didn't even look at me. It would be easy to feel self-pity and disappointment at this point, but I really don't feel like I failed. In fact I overcame a massive amount of anxiety today and have to be satisfied with that. In addition I know it will be much easier tomorrow now that I got the taste. Online * I've now set up two dates from Tinder for this week. One of them is for tomorrow. Tinder seems like the best way to go hook-up wise, because the matches there are pretty (you've liked their pics) and they seem eager to chat and respond quickly unlike on dating sites/text messages. I think I should actually set up the date on Tinder and only ask for the number once we've agreed on a time and place. * I have a very promising girl who actually contacted ME on a dating site. That's rare. She lives in another city but considering that she's decent looking and seems to be really into me, I'm gonna make the trip. Who knows, you know? It could be awesome. * Un-responsiveness to messages drives me nuts. It's always then that my mind starts to formulate all these delusional scenarios and ponder what I did wrong. It completely ruined my mood that my Wednesday's date canceled too. Gotta get rid of this outcome dependency somehow. |
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Thanks. I know they do, but it doesn't always feel like that. I got some compliments on my style when I did the nighttime drill as well. You're right at this point it's starting to feel I can actually use some of this stuff in these drills later on in approaches. |
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Day 38 (Genuine but Skeptical)
Result: 6 "you're cute"s, so that's 3x yesterday. Tomorrow I will try again. It was already much easier today! I said "you're cute" to a girl at the gym (she said "thanks" and smiled), and then to a girl at the store (she said "okayy.."). I grabbed her shoulder first, turned her towards me and then said it - for some reason this was easier than trying to get her attention by the phrase alone. Then I went to the mall and did it to four girls. The first I almost knocked down a table when I leant over it, but I didn't get embarrassed and said it anyway. She and the second one both said thanks. The third one was a group of 3 girls walking by. They laughed after, but I didn't care. I felt they weren't laughing at me, but rather at the situation. The fourth was picking out candy, didn't even look at me and said "aha" in a rude way. I said to her: "never mind, I saw wrong, you're actually fucking ugly and fat" and left. That felt good. I've decided that if someone's gonna make me feel bad, I'm gonna make them feel bad too. It's polite to at least say thank you when someone gives you a compliment. Date I had a date with a 20 y/o cutie pie from Tinder. I think we got along pretty well, but it didn't really go anywhere. She tried to shake my hand when we met, but I hugged her. I also held her hand for a bit at the coffee table, but she had to leave. I escorted her to the train and hugged her. Not sure if she was making excuses to leave, but I'm gonna just keep thinking that she's into me and just wants to take it slow. Even if she didn't fancy me, I'm not gonna take it personally, because it's just "chemistry" or some voodoo shit like that. I think these points prove that I'm ballsier already than most guys: - She said this was the first time she's been out with anyone from Tinder. - When I said she's got pretty eyes, she said she seldom hears that. I asked if she was serious because she truly was pretty, she said that men usually don't seem to dare give out compliments or something like that. Online Tinder is great! The girls there are so beautiful and ready to chat it's almost unbelievable. The "fucking phrases" work like magic, although some girls find it a little too rash and I have to adjust. I still feel like I have to watch everything I say, so as not to reveal my insecurity. |
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Day 38 (Genuine but Skeptical
Drills: Just one today - I loudly said "you're cute" to a girl at the gym. She thanked and laughed in a good way. Date I had a date with another nice girl today. She was very late, although she had warned me the day before that she will be running late. It frustrated me that she wouldn't update me where she was though, and I didn't have her number. She, too, tried to shake my hand but I hugged her instead. She seemed a little more interested in me than yesterday's one, but our conversation was more awkward. Nevertheless I touched her rings and earrings and grabbed her hand at one point, and she apologized for being a bit taken aback by it. She was in a hurry to catch the metro, so when I hugged her goodbye it was brief. These dates aren't going as I want. Maybe the coffee setting is bad? Maybe I need to find out a quieter cafeteria? Maybe something else completely? I messaged my date from yesterday and even though I thought the date went badly she seemed pretty eager to chat. Hmm... Maybe these girls are just slow to warm up? There really needs to be a program for Date Anxiety ![]() Online Fuck I'm messaging so many girls it's taking hours each day... exhausting. But I've figured out that the best chance to get laid for me is to talk to the girls plenty BEFORE the date, to get them to feel comfortable with me. I've been trying to lead the convos into something sexual, and ask interesting questions, but it's hard to come up with stuff. That being said I had a couple of very nice conversations yesterday night. With one girl I said I'd stroke her hair, but only if it doesn't stink. Then she said it doesn't stink, it smells good. I asked what it smells like and she said I better come find out ![]() There really needs to be a program for Message Anxiety ![]() |
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Thanks, glad to be of inspiration! Yes, she was definitely dtf but I didn't want to risk it because I wasn't confident I could seal the deal and I wanted to get the drills done. I'm sure there will be more situations like that to come.. The girls didn't really give me a chance to kiss them, but maybe I should've just done it anyway! |
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Online
Online has been crazee. Since I took great pics of myself, started blasting copy/paste openers and using the fucking phrases from Rooster's guide, I just keep getting better and better. I need to curb myself down because I have more contacts than I can handle right now ![]() 1) Illithyia - she contacted me via a dating site, and I just finished talking to her 20 min on the phone. The conversation really flowed and I felt I could've just kept talking on and on with her. Excited to see her on Sat.! 2) Jade - a girl I talked to a little bit in Tinder and then in WhatsApp - at first she seemed kinda weird and bitchy, but now she's driving from another city to meet me next Thursday. Seriously wtf? ![]() 3) Me: hi ur cute whats up? Her: Hey, thank you. Doing good ![]() Her: You? Me: fine i just came home. what are your best qualities in addition to socialness and recklessness? (: Her: Umm I don't know, don't want to boast ![]() Me: Modesty then ![]() Me: im just so tired of all these stalkers and desperate people here... all I want is one normal girl to chat with (: Her: Well I mean I think I'm pretty normal ![]() Her: Coffee tonight? I think the good thing about living in Finland is that it's pretty easy to stand out. I'm already way ballsier than 99% of guys here, and definitely above average looking & stylish. |
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Day 38 (Genuine but Skeptical)
I can't believe I just did the whole drill! That's 40 girls approached. I did the first 10 in a mall, then had a coffee break and then the next 10. For the last 20 I drove downtown and did them in a shopping center/bus terminal and a nearby movie theater. I don't think the "hey wait a second" sounded too good in Finnish, or I should've said it in a different tone, or I should've smiled more. That way I might've gotten better reactions, but thankfully the important part was the execution, not the reactions. I can hone my tone in the further drills. At least I was loud. I approached single girls, walking girls, stationary girls, girls on the phone, groups of girls and pairs of girls. I didn't care about people hearing me - in fact it made me feel masculine to be able to compliment a girl like that in front of everybody. I even approached one girl whose boyfriend was a short distance away. If goodlookingweirdo can do it, I can do it, I thought ![]() The reactions were mostly bemused thanks. A couple were creeped out, and one woman actually rudely turned away from me when I said "hey wait a second". I couldn't think of what to say so I just followed her around for a while to make her feel as uncomfortable as possible in retaliation. ![]() Some actually smiled and looked happy, and one girl said "you too" and smiled! That made the whole day ![]() It's now that I'm actually starting to think that I can finish this thing! |
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Day 39 (No More Mr. Nice Guy)
2 reps. I had a date today, so I only had a brief amount of time to do the drills before it. I felt anxious due to the upcoming date and wasn't able to get into the mood. I did one rep to a single woman though. After the date I also stopped at a gas station/restaurant and did another rep to a girl who was sitting at a table with her friend. My voice broke, it came out too quiet and I felt like a bitch. Date Our greeting was better than usual, because I came later than her and was able to prepare. I smiled and we hugged and I told her she looked good. I took her to a different cafe this time, one that was quieter. Right at the start we simultaneously pressed the water faucet and our fingers touched. She liked my ring and I complimented her eyes and her hair, and brushed it with my hand. I also tried to hold her hand but she pulled away after like half a minute. I put my hand on her knee, but she was very ticklish so she got mad at me in a playful way. I told her to give me her hands but she refused. As we were walking to my car I tried to hold her hand but she said she didn't like to hold hands. I offered to take her where she was going and as we said our goodbyes we hugged and I tried to kiss her. She pulled back and said "no kisses". She said she didn't want to be too easy. Well, she smiled and looked happy in any case. I'm glad I tried even though it backfired. It wasn't embarrassing at all. Online Couple of girls couldn't take a joke. Maybe I need to tone it down a little. Then again who cares? Hilarious that one of the girls who I dated has blocked me. |
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Bro keep it up! i been with you on this for a bit now and youre doing great man, don't get discouraged
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Thanks bro! Had a great weekend off the computer, will update right now. |
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comment 26220 - "How to Pickup Girls if You Are Nervous... (Nervous Guy Game)"