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- I'm finally in my big ass city with over 2 million people - the feeling is entirely different: Lots and lots of younger girls (18-30) and I don't need to commute for about 30 mins to meet one (usually old) person.
- Experienced the weirdest reaction ever today it was hysterical: I approached an about 35-40 year old woman and asked her: "Excuse me, do you know where the University campus is?". She responded: "I don't know!". I asked again to clarify: "You know the campus of the University of XYZ" and she sort of answered a bit louder: "I'm not affiliated with that kind of stuff!" That wording really made my day and the people around did not hear the first part of me asking but only her nervous "I'm not affiliated with that kind of stuff!" which made things even more hilarious haha. I was taken aback at that reaction so I didn't say or do anything and just let her go but in retrospective I should have given her shit like "Yeah, you don't look like you are affiliated with education" but well, maybe next time. Felt some slight social discomfort - people around probably didn't give a shit or forgot the interaction within 2 mins - but after a few minutes I found it hilarious and continued approaching.
- Otherwise an awesome day, really enjoyed some interactions!
- Did 17 reps of Day 8 (Time, Directions, Have you been there? Did you like it?)
Things I noticed:
- Very very similiar to yesterday: It's funny but I do the first few reps very fast (like 5 reps within 10 mins) and then I lose some steam. I mean it's not that bad but I nevertheless hope that I will be able to go with that speed for the entire time think machine gunning like scotty and ssk08 haha.
- One "Time, Directions, Have you been there? Did you like it?) was so fuckin awkward it was ridiculous haha: I asked her about the university and whether she liked it. She wasn't exactly sure what I meant (architecture, education etc...) which made things not smooth at all but I didn't give a shit and just stayed in there. Found it hilarious in retrospective.
- Gonna do the (Time, Directions, Have you been there? Did you like it?) without the build-up again tomorrow a few times to get really comfortable with it. I also have to focus a bit on more crowded areas but I did 2-3 approaches in the most crowded street of my country today so I guess it's getting better.
- Did a few reps of day 8.
- Did some of mr. nikora's social anxiety drills in the busiest street.
Things I noticed:
- Felt quite bad physically in the morning probably due to me trolling the streets for a few hours yesterday even though it was quite cold. Decided to go out nevertheless.
- I feel like I'm building my progress on a shaky foundation as I seem to shy away from the most crowded places. The drill itself is fucking easy, in less crowded areas I have no problem at all but that shit is going to get me once I move on to more advanced drills. So I'm going to dedicate the next few days to killing my SA in the busiest areas. I don't need to become completely over-the-top-jackass-uber-zen-master but just comfortable with approaching in these environments as there are so many women I'd like to approach there. If I could run the drill on the busiest street I would probably be able to finish 15 reps in 30 minutes.
- Did some of the last reps of day 8.
- Did some of mr. nikora's and some self-made social anxiety drills in the busiest street.
Things I noticed:
- Reaching the point where I'm going to experience some massive changes. I start to feel very strange, like when I'm experiencing a major change in my life (first few days in a new city, etc.). At first I regarded that feeling as very negative, feels like uncertainty mixed with stress and anxiety but now I know it's just change. Still does not feel that pleasant haha.
- Amazing how many people cannot hold eye contact or just look down on the ground. I was walking down the street and a skinhead-prison-type-guy (even though he was not jacked) was coming my way and I was staring right in his eyes (felt a strong adrenaline rush) and he was immediately looking down on the ground, then looking ahead and then again on the ground. Taught me not to judge people too quickly.
- I definitely feel less social anxiety or tension in my daily life. I used to get really tense about half a year ago when I walked through a crowded street on my own. Thinking everybody is looking at me and wondering why I walk alone (they might be thinking I have no friends, be a creep).
- Played some "The floor is lava" on the busiest pedestrian area of my city where you are not allowed to step on big squares/circles on the ground and as a result have to jump or make suuuper long steps. Almost bumped into some people a few times haha.
- I think the key to beating some sort of anxiety is the following: Get exposure but not an overwhelming amout, feel the awkwardness or anxiety, stay in there until it fades away or gets significantly less and see that nothing bad ever happens or that you can deal with the consequences.
- Did some self-made social anxiety drills.
- Registered for some martial arts training.
Things I noticed:
- Had a realisation today: I cannot force my anxiety to just go away within a few days. There is no point in stressing myself out with the results of my anxiety-bashing. Better to focus on the path and process meaning as long as I go out every day and try to step out of my comfort zone it doesn't matter when there are a few days where I cannot talk to that many people or push myself so hard as long as I keep going out.
- Currently taking a high quality and high dosed zinc supplement recommended by my doc (due to probable deficiency) and I suddenly notice insane libido and aggression for which I do not really have enough of an outlet. Took a semester off of university so I basically have 24 hours free time a day (of course it is not like that but I think you get what I'm saying).
- Seems like almost all of my background anxiety (people recognizing me, people watching me, etc.) is gone.
- Slowly getting a state where it feels like I can work on my anxiety perfectly - it's hard to describe. Anxiety is still there but not overwhelmingly where it already freaks me out when I'm on my way to the city. I'm even getting a little bit excited to do the drill. I think I'm on the right track even though I seem to move very slowly.
- Had another hilarious moment today. Asked for directions, girl did not exactly know how to get there, but told me that she has a map in her wallet and opened her wallet. Then she was searching in her wallet but didn't find anything so she shook her head and closed her wallet again and said "Sorry!". The guy that was passing me by then was probably thinking that I was asking for spare change and looked at me with a funny look. Felt a bit awkward at first but then I had to laugh as the timing was amazing haha.
- Felt like absolute shit today, somehow restless and depressed dunno what was up with that. Doing some drilling eased some of the pain for about 2h.
Things I noticed:
- Like I already said, felt anxious, depressed and restless - so totally not in the mood to go out there and talk to people. I plowed right through that and went out nevertheless. Funnily enough talking to some people eased these feelings but only for 1-2h then my motivation plummeted.
- Even though I do not seem to advance that much, I will keep going out no matter what. I have enough time and will damn sure use it!
- Did about 10 approaches of Day 8.
- Started no PMO.
Things I noticed:
- Asked for the time and one woman did not answer and just shook her head like she does not want to be bothered which made me quite angry. Asked her like 4 times and turned around and kept asking till she finally said that she does not know. Did it completely subconsciously like I wasn't even thinking about it I just wanted to get an answer. Honestly I dunno what the deal is with people who act like that.
- Had 2 extremely long interactions (10-15 mins conversation) with 2 a bit older women today who accompanied me to my "destination". Was very pleasantly surprised about how friendly some people are. Furthermore it is awesome small talk skill training when you converse with strangers for quite some time and more than the average 30 seconds in the drill.
- I also think that I realized what slows my progress with my AA and SA. In the last few weeks I started to watch more and more porn again till I reached the climax (pun lol) yesterday with 5 times in one day. That's probably why I felt like a fuckin wreck and which drastically hinders my progress as it inhibits the natural anti-anxiety mechanisms of the brain. Gonna stick with that for quite some while and see where it leads me.
- Motivation finally back, feels good. Was also able to do a few approaches on the busiest street, otherwise much less excusing and much more out of my head and less thinking.
- I tend to forget reactions and faces ridiculously fast definitely a good sign I guess.
- Felt weak as fuck today, hardcore anxiety I don't feel as if I'm moving forward. I think I need to do other drills before I'm able to approach on the busiest street. Hopefully I will be able one day.
- Felt not much difference to the former days anxiety-wise.
- Interestingly I have no problem with getting in there at the first few reps. I almost approach EVERY girl I see for the first 5-6 reps so almost 2 sets. Then my motivation suddenly plummets and I cannot approach anymore - not even asking for the time. I just can't bring myself to approach anymore unless the girl is quite attractive.
- The last girl I approached today was a total cutie confirming my theory that girls that look at you, then on the ground, then at you again and then on the ground again etc. are definitely interested. I got eye contact with her, she looked on the ground, then at me again and then on the ground again and then I stopped her. Asked her for the time - she was extremely friendly and completely brightened up the second I stopped her. Overall people were extremely friendly today - probably due to the weather haha.
- Gonna move forward with the drills as it seems like I have to do quite daring things in average crowded places first until I can do normal stuff in extremely crowded areas. On ordinary streets parks etc I have no problems but on the single most crowded street approaching creeps me the fuck out. I can do it sometimes but often not. To be honest I realized today that I'm probably a bit too obsessed with this street as it is freaking tourist-y and not as useful as a general reduction in AA.
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