TOPIC: Beating Approach Anxiety! (Remedy)

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Have you eaten at (xxx)?, leave.
- Time, Have you eaten at (xxx)?, Did you like it?, leave.

Did 5 sets of this. Obviously much much easier than yesterday. Did the drill on 10 women in about 20 minutes or so, so quite fast, excused a lot less than yesterday. Then I took a short break because I needed to drink sth. had some kind of kidney/back pain. The last 5 also took about 20 minutes since I lost momentum.

Things I noticed:

- The harder it was for me to approach a girl, the more my state got boosted.
- Quite calm during the conversation
- I m much more relaxed than the average guy walking down the street: I walk quite slowly about half the speed of normal people and never really look on the ground - always looking into the crowd to find new women to do the drills on haha.
- Only had 2 occasions where I asked a woman who was not a the restaurant whether she liked it: The first one was not quite sure and then said she liked it. The second one got mad and was thinking that I probably made fun of her - today I kinda looked like a player. Felt a bit down at the moment but in retrospective it was quite funny haha.

Question for experienced members:

How confident should you be with the drills before you move on?

What did I do today?

- Redid Day 9, needed to get some more exposition when it comes to the "Did you like it?"-response, when they initially told me that they had not eaten there before. Got it 4 out of 5 times today. Yesterday every girl except for one has already eaten there.

Things I noticed:

- I try to do the drill on women I find interesting or attractive.
- Today I talked to 3 women I found really attractive who also gave me the best responses. I know the reactions dont really matter but I guess I am somehow screening with my style and looks (graphic black&white t-shirt with wide neckline, dog tag, bracelet...).
- The 14th girl was a total cutie, asked her for the time and whether she has eaten at (xxx) at the most crowded place in the whole city I think. She thought about it, then said that she hasnt eaten there so she cannot tell me how it is like - remember I havent even asked her about that - but then she realized that a friend has actually told her about it and that it is really good, smiling all the time. It was like the 90%-10% rule just the other way round. These girls are the reason why I do this.
- I creeped a woman (bout mid 40) totally out: She seemed a bit lost and was standing somewhere looking around, I asked her for the time nevertheless. She gave it to me, then I continued and walked down the street, she took the same way but I did not notice that. Then I asked another woman for the time and if she´s eaten at (xxx). The other woman saw me do that and was like staring at me. Then I changed sides because she seemed a bit strange as she was always turning around and kept looking at me. This (the previous woman sees me performing the drill on the next one) actually has been my worst fear about the program, but it did not prevent me from finishing all the drills. Dont need women like this on a regular basis though haha.
- Noticed a small shift in my behaviour today: It has not happened that much (maybe 5 times) but sometimes women (mostly foreign ones) do not stop when I politely ask them for the time. The last few times I just let it be and walked away but today I was like turning around and saying a bit louder "The time please!" - not rude but a bit more assertive.

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a movie theater around?, leave.
- Time, Is there a movie theater around?, Have you seen any good movies (there) lately?, leave.

Did a about 7 sets of this. Talked to 20-23 women. The streets were fuckin crowded but mainly old people and it took my like a whole freakin lifetime to do the drill. Decided to get some more exposition as it took me so long. Would not have been content if I left after 15 women.

Things I noticed:

- Bit higher AA when in crowded areas, though today it was probably as crowded as it could get.
- Quite calm while talkin to the girl
- I am startin to notice subtle signs while talkin to women (two girls I was kinda attracted to started playin with their hair for example)
- One mother-daughter set was quite funny (the mother was very suspicious while the daughter - aged about 25 - was extremely friendly and gave me very very very detailed directions)
- All in all it took me quite long but I nevertheless got lots of exposition (more than planned, did more sets)
- Nearly everyone was very friendly and gave me directions or at least tried to, some more than others of course. The reactions do not bother me as much as at the beginning though.

Well, from what I read here, you are doing just fine. You did more women than you "had" to until you were satisfied. I think that is a good sign that you understood the concept Chris had in mind. Keep it up! (-:

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells cell phones?, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells cell phones?, What phone do you have?, leave.

Only got 2 sets of this done today. Gonna do the drill tomorrow again of course.

Things I noticed:

- Nearly no approach anxiety in areas that are not crowded or medium crowded - high approach anxiety in very crowded areas
- been goin out for 10 days straight now
- probably a bit longer and harder path than I thought it would be
- calm during the interactions but problems walking up to the girls

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells cell phones?, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells cell phones?, What phone do you have?, leave.

Only got 2 sets of this done today. Gonna do the drill tomorrow again of course.

Things I noticed:

- Nearly no approach anxiety in areas that are not crowded or medium crowded - high approach anxiety in very crowded areas
- been goin out for 10 days straight now
- probably a bit longer and harder path than I thought it would be
- calm during the interactions but problems walking up to the girls

that are the exact same things i noticed too! keep up the good work

What did I do today?

- Paused today.

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What cell phone are you using?, leave.

Did not get more done today.

Things I noticed:

- Masturbated (to porn) this weekend, which certainly elevates my social and approach anxiety - need to get that out of my life.
- Creeped an middle-aged unattractive woman the fuck out by doin "Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What cell phone are you using?, leave." Guess most unattractive women think I am makin fun of them because it is not possible that I honestly hit on them. Did not bother me really afterwards - even felt much better than her (I know that sounds quite arrogant) and gave me a huge boost in momentum.
- Huge problems walkin up to women, dunno whats wrong here as it was not that way when I started the AA program. I even had problems doin the basic "Time, leave." drill - started to encounter the problem on friday, I think. No problems during and after the conversation only before, feels like this is my biggest obstacle - the walking-up-to-them part.
- My drive and motivation to do the drills is currently very low once I am in the city, even though I am now very comfortable walking through the city all on my own.

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, leave.
- Time , Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, Do you like it?, leave.

Did 3 sets of this. Much more than yesterday but still not where I want it to be.

Things I noticed:

- Nearly no AA in non-crowded areas, did like the first 6 in about 10-15 minutes. Then I walked the main street up and down for 1 hour without ONE SINGLE APPROACH; then I came into some non-crowded areas again, where I did another 5 approaches in like 10 minutes. Finally another lap around the main street with one single fuckin approach.
- Actually it is a bit funny that I cannot do the approaches in the city centre because that is where I did all of the previous days. Besides I feel completely comfortable just being on my own and walking up and down the street which makes it even stranger. During the first few days I felt extremely discomforted and weird doing the drills but I managed to did them. Now I feel quite comfortable but I just do not walk up to the girl.
- The first girl where I did "- Time , Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, Do you like it?, leave." was very cute reaction-wise because she giggled all the time and smiled at me.
- Still very calm during the interaction meaning I never pussy out and bail on chicks or try to justify my questions.

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, leave.
- Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, Do you like it?, leave.

Finally did all 5 sets of this, felt awesome today

Things I noticed:

- Was quite content with my performance today, much faster than yesterday even though I did nearly twice as much approaches
- broke my dry spell in the city centre haha, approached about 8 women there
- had some hilarious conversations today, most girls were extremely friendly and contributed very much to the conversation
- sometimes (guess about 3 times) I accidentally shooted the "Do you like it?"-phrase even though I only was at "Time, Is there a cell phone store around?, What kind of phone do you have?, leave." Nothing I did consciously but just out of the flow.
- All in all a very good day, finally on to Nr. 12

What did I do today?

- Time, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells nice candles?, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells nice candles?, I´m planning something (a dinner) for my girlfriend, leave.
- Time, Is there a shop around that sells nice candles?, I´m planning something (a dinner) for my girlfriend, I´m like the best boyfriend ever, leave.

Did 4 sets of this. Changed the last bit as I think the direct translation is not as good.

Things I noticed:

- The first 10 went by really fast (like 25 mins), then I had to answer my phone which killed my state a bit. Finished the drill nevertheless.
- Today I experienced something extremely strange. Somehow lots of female faces seemed very familiar to me, as if I had already approached them even though I knew on a rational level that I hadn't. On the other hand I had a hard time recapitulating the approaches I had done before - doesnt matter whether they were 5 minutes ago or half an hour.
- Not many hot girls around today