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In the end, I ended up skipping day 44. I walked around today for another 60min, trying to act on my intuition on more subtle warm signals. But I had problems doing a cold start because my mind was not completely switched off and I got into over-thinking all this signals stuff in order to not do "random approaches" as usual. I have no idea if the reason for the lacking eye contact is me or a cultural difference between people here and Chris' tested control group btw. But I don't want to create problems until I have a real reason (i.e., actually hit on girls with no results), so I decided to park this issue for now.
On the good side, though, the weather is getting better! We had around 20°C (68°F) and sun -- still too cold for this time of the year, but so much better than the last days (-: After I had chilled in the sun for 40min, listening to the new audio I felt great and decided to do day 45 directly:
Task: Approach 3x4 groups of girls and give them a high five ...+tell them they're cute, ...+say your name, ...+shake at least one girl's hand. Execution: This afternoon. Took me around 35min. Reflection: Normally, I do around half of the drills on groups (mostly of packs of two) anyway to save time. Actually, I don't find it hard doing the drills on multiple girls. Not the contrary, either, but me feeling less intrusive leads to kind of a draw between single girls and packs. So this day was essentially just an easier version of day 43. Of the time I needed, around 15min were transitioning between places, so it took me like 20min to complete the drills. I thought it was very easy which confirmed me again that moving on after day 43 was right. It also felt refreshing to do something again after running around for 2.5 days, waiting for magic to happen and getting all caught up in my head.
Reactions were fine, all girls returned my high-fives and shook my hands back (well, one pack of three actually gave me a low-five instead of shaking, but I decided to not be more popey than the pope and let them go).
After Chris statement in the Q&A, I decided to do day 44, however long it might take.
Task: Make 3--5 seconds eye contact with 4x4 girls. Say "Cute", ...+high five her, ...+introduce yourself, ...+shake hands with her. Challenge I don't care about, this shit is difficult enough here. Execution: Half-way done in like 3hrs. High time investment, but at least those 8 were without any "Hey" or "Hi" to get their attention first. Reflection: I decided to first see if I could do the drill as suggested, now that the weather is really good and girls get off their vitamin D withdrawal. Well, I got the first two quickly, so I was motivated to push it as far as I could get without getting their attention (Chris' backup plan). To be honest, I tried the latter for some time, and couldn't do it properly. It felt too weird to wait for eye contact first and then, after they looked away, try to get their attention again. Another reason why I stuck to the original plan in the end.
On a positive side, chatting them up when they looked at me for an extended period of time came naturally. The reactions were also noticeably less random, only two out of eight did not respond very well. Just like Chris suggested: better but not completely safe. I have a new arch enemy, though: Sunglasses. I bet I would have killed this one completely within the three hours, but around 70% of the hot girls here were wearing sunglasses today. I cannot tell where the fuck those chicks are looking.
Anyway, plan is to dress a little more polarizing tomorrow (tank top instead of normal t-shirt, the rest should be fine) and see if I can top three hours for eight girls, hahaha (-: At least I get some tan on the way.
I am about to do the eye contact drill tomorrow. I have the exact same thought about dressing. I am gonna wear a tank top too, and a backward baseball cap. I want to see if I look like a douche bag I would get more eye contact.
You are really killing these drills. I've been completing all the days, but some days I just don't feel great about it. I'll find out if I am ready when I start screening.
Thanks for the input, man. I'm looking forward to read the next part of your journal. Considering that you had motivation problems in between I am glad to hear you are already this far. Redoing some days is no shame, and I am sure it will look less annoying once you have this week killed. At least this was the case for me with week 4. Also, you don't necessarily have to do the whole volume on the more intense days in my opinion.
I have to say, though, the tank top didn't do the deal. Here's my report of the second half of day 44:
Execution: After lunch. Circled through town for 3.5hrs, doing the other eight. Reflection: I am sun burnt, fuck's sake. As I said, the tank top didn't change anything, main annoyance are still their sunglasses. But at least I have this fucker knocked out, even if it took ages. It really is funny how girls will look at me for around a second and then look away. The last two I chatted up didn't even hold it for a full 3secs, but rather looked at me repeatedly which was enough for me. I was so annoyed that it took so long that I got a little aggressive, haha. The fourth girl, I grabbed her hand on the high five and held it to introduce myself. I was too desperate that it wouldn't work out.
One funny story: In hindsight, I felt the fifth girl didn't look at me long enough, so I wanted to do one more after I finished just saying "cute". Luckily, I found one right at the tram stop of my office. Looked at her for a bit, she took her earphones off. Me all excited, wanting to say "cute" when she says: "I know you. You're the guy who ate that much at the buffet!!!" First of all I told her she was cute cause I couldn't remember her anyway. Then I chatted with her and it turned out she was the waitress of an evening event with free food I had been to recently (quite common here in Switzerland). She had been running around with trays of food, and I had been following her constantly to grab as much as I could. Cheap fucker that I am, I hadn't had dinner before -- of course I ate a lot. Hahaha! Instead of taking her number, I counted it as a valid replacement for girl five. She was obviously disappointed that I didn't take the same tram, hope to see her again sometime soon.
Also, I feel dizzy from the sun btw. Executing drills may be hazardous to your health (-:
Wow, that came unexpected. Now that things are back under control, I can give you guys a little update about my struggle with day46. I had a really hard time on this one, don't know why. I definitely felt self-conscious after running around town for ages trying to look every girl in the eye for day 44. But that can't be all, so I guess this drill had something to it that really got me. If anybody is struggling with any day: Here's how I did it.
Task: Talk to 6x4 girls and tell them: "I know this is random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi.", ...+introduce yourself, ...+shake hands, ...+ask them what they are up to. Execution: Technically, I finished this day (I did the total of repetitions), but spread out over three days (see below). It was only today that I felt really good about it. Gonna stick to it for a little, although I will attempt day 47 soon. Reflection: Again -- what the motherfuck? First time I went out on Friday, but I felt already bad about this. I compromised my work the two days before, so after around 30min I decided to do it on Saturday and get some work done instead. I hoped it was random and that Sat might be better.
Saturday didn't work better. The whole city was on its feet because it was the first weekend with good weather. Loads of girls, but also loads of people watching. I soon set my target for the day to only do the first rep once. I could do it after quite a while (maybe one hour or more?). After this, I tried to get more reps down, but at one point I just went home half-frustrated, half-glad that I actually did anything.
Sunday, I decided it had to be the first four. I felt a huge emotional response, a real struggle. Walked around and it only got worse apparently. Interestingly, I also felt like I couldn't have even told girls they were cute like I did before. I decided to do a simplified version of the drill as a warmup (without the "I wanted to say hi"). Went to two girls and could really almost feel the vulnerability. I went in so vulnerable like I never did before doing this program. After this, the worst part was over. I was able to finish the four, although not very fast.
Yesterday, my target was to do two full cycles. The first four were really slow, and then, finally, for the second four I felt the flow again. This feeling of ease I had been waiting for since almost a week (the day 44 totally killed any flow since it was like one approach every 30min or so). After two cycles I went home happy.
Today, I was back to normal. I finished the remaining three cycles, not very fast, but in a great flow. Wanted to do all 24, but ran out of time in the end, The main reason it took me two hours was that I always get into chats with the girls if they stay. I didn't take their number of course since these are still drills, but I couldn't help myself talking to quite a few girls for a while. One was cool as fuck and had a decently sized joint in her hand. I decided to not get stoned with her, but we ended up chatting about our lives for 40min straight. Haha (-: Anyway, this drill really feels like a full-on approach for me.
I have more thoughts and theories on this, but I leave it at this for now. I don't think my weird explanations and analyses about why this was so difficult for me matter too much -- although I'd be curious to know. Just one thing for anybody who is struggling: My mind was fucking with me heaps. Due to the emotional struggle, it came up with all kinds of ideas why it was better to quit. Quite normal I guess. Just don't listen! It's hard, but the only way out is through sometimes.
Execution: Another 12 in around an hour. Reflection: As good as the day before yesterday. I notice, however, that it might be a little way to integrating this stuff into everyday life. The first one didn't come without resistance. Anyway, after that it got way better, learning curve is definitely there. I am also annoyed that I cannot take numbers on this one, haha (-: Had some really nice chats with girls.
Tonight is the last opportunity for me to do day 47 this week. From tmrw on, I will be on a business trip -- I'll try to continue doing day 46, maybe even some real approaches. I don't know if I will have time to update this journal, though.
Alright, on to day 47. I actually have to get up again in 2 hours, so I keep it brief.
Task: Squeeze 5x4 girls on the arm and say "cute", ...+introduce yourself, ...+shake her hand, ...+ask her how her night is going. Execution: Thursday night in my usual venue. Took me two hours. Reflection: Gladly, the club was more crowded than the last few Thursdays I was there. I think the good weather woke people up from their winter sleep. Took me 2 hours because one actually almost does real approaches and often real interactions follow that would be rude to just cut off. Also, I liked the music a lot tonight, so I spent some time dancing. I still avoid girls with guys I noticed (on my list for later), but have no problem with groups of girls. Mixed reactions as usual, although almost none were rude or anything. Nothing special apart from the length of the interactions. The hardest part about these night time drills is actually going out and getting comfortable being by yourself. The resistance was high after I had chilled on my bed for a while, knowing I'd have to get up at 5am. But as a side note, girls were usually impressed when I told them I live 2min from the venue and just "go out by myself when I'm bored." I wish, haha (-: But maybe I will, the place surprised me positively tonight.
Just a quick update here. I didn't manage to do a lot since last Thursday, too busy. Maybe a total of 15--20 approaches daytime, partly drills. About the same nighttime, in a shitty venue though. Anyway, I feel like I still need to put work into day-46-like drills -- seems that actually hitting on girls freaks me out a little. The drill itself feels like an approach to me, there's no difference in anxiety between the two really.
What I am gonna do for now is to stick to this kind of approach until it really feels comfortable. The next weeks will be busier than planned anyway for job and traveling reasons. That's why I'm gonna freestyle a little and keep the habit of approaching up as far as I can. I will give some updates here on possible progress regarding anxiety, but not as regularly as during the daily drilling. Hopefully, I will then have time to move on with week 7 before life gets really busy again from September on.
So far the best to everybody who's right in the middle. Keep it up!
Chris, thanks for your concerns. It's not that I cannot do this drill at all, just the first few repetitions take me longer than the other days and definitely longer than I'd like them to take. I feel that quick execution is crucial on this one -- particularly because I am rather busy in general. As soon as real life starts again (i.e. real job, currently I am somewhat in a transition period), I want to spend time more efficiently than walking around town pumping myself up to talk to chicks.
Anyway, this week I have to work ~12hrs a day, so I won't have a lot of time until Friday anyway. I'm gonna get going again then and see how it goes for a few days. No need to waste your time now I think, but if I feel that I need help, I am gonna hit you up via PM or in the Q&A thread. Thanks for the offer -- I highly appreciate it!
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