This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
Task: Walk up to/pass by 10 girls and say "You're cute." Then walk up to / pass by 10 more girls and say "Wait a second -- you're cute." Repeat this two times. Execution: This noon and this evening. Took me around 2x45min. The last 12 were pretty quick and smooth. Reflection: Nice! Interestingly, this one was not a big problem. Got in quickly on the first two. Then, when I got to town, I was a little overwhelmed by all the people (I felt vulnerable first), but soon recovered. First, just saying cute and leaving felt weird. But in the end (maybe for the last 12 or so), for the first time since a long long time, I had this spectacular feeling of social flow. Like you have a little bit on the high-five day. Where things just don't matter anymore and you run on autopilot. Analytical thinking switched off. It felt really powerful.
As a side note, I didn't take it to seriously with the exact wording. Sometimes I just looked and them while passing by and said "Cuuuuute." Two times or so I stopped them, told them they were cute and got into a brief situational talk. The reactions were as usual, it's almost not worth mentioning anymore: Some gave the compliment back, some thought is was weird, some said thanks and smiled, some said thanks out of politeness.
Yesterday the weather was somewhat mediocre again to say the least. I decided that my time is more well-spent already getting some of this week's work done instead of running around when there's only few girls to chat up.
So today day 39: Task: Walk up to / stop 10 more girls and say "Wait a second -- you're cute." Then walk up to / stop 10 more girls and say "Wait a second -- you're cute." and say your name. Repeat this two times. Execution: Today, around noon and shortly before quitting time. Took me 55min and 45min, respectively. Reflection: I was quite psyched before doing this because of the one-day break. But it was pretty easy to get into it. The reactions were a little more interesting: First set of 20 around noon, the reactions were mixed again. Almost all girls said thanks when I told them they were cute, and maybe 3 or 4 of the last ten introduced themselves back. Some were so damn sweet that my heart almost melted. When I said my name, one was apologizing for still sitting, stood up, and introduced herself with a handshake. I then transitioned to giving all who were cool enough to introduce themselves back a "politeness high five" and wished them a good day. As for the Do-what-you-want principle: I didn't get any really harsh reactions. The worst was a girl who said "Yeah, right." after my compliment, totally not convinced. I was like "Yeah, for sure you are", still grinning. When she was getting on tram, kinda making fun of me with "You're having a really good day, eh?", I just blew her a smooch and left. Not planned or anything, that reaction just came out.
I don't know what happened with the second set of 20. Maybe it was the exposure to a whole day of sun the girls had -- happy hormones or sth. I also felt really comfortable and probably reflected that. It's really hard to describe because I think it was mainly an internal process: After stopping them with "You got a second?", I looked at them for a second or two as if I had the most important thing to say and then just said "You're cute." with a big smile. I don't know exactly how I looked at them then, but internally I felt as if I was just expecting them to be nice and nothing else since I opened up so much. Then I said my name in a way that there was no discussion that I expect them to say their name, too. I was probably also lucky to hit up a lot of non-angry girls in a row. Anyway, as a result, the last 15 all sincerely thanked me, most being really smiley. Also, every single girl of the last ten introduced herself back. The few that didn't, I looked at and asked their name and they told me. I also shook hands with almost all of them. (Both came naturally, I know this was not the drill.) Also when I wished them a nice day, almost all wished me the same. (Btw, it was not that I was super fearless and was approaching any girl around. Many people around still gave me some problems.) I have a hard time analyzing this whole situation, but probably that's not the right thing to do anyway. For now, I stick with being happy that these moments exist where things just flow easily.
I just wanted to say you've done very well on this, and I've enjoyed checking your log from time to time. I have no doubt that after you've finished the A.A program you will go on to accomplish whatever your goals might be. I look forward to see where your adventures in life take you (assuming you log your other endeavors on this website as well).
Long is the journey and hard that out of hell leads up to light.- John Milton's Paradise lost.
Good job- its sounds like a lot of your anxiety has gone/is going away and your more "present" in your interactions. thats great, eventually not only will you be present, you'll be 1 step ahead of all the girls... thats when you can pull shit off real quickly
Please no Private Messages. Post thread on with the word "Chris" or "GLL" in it if you absolutely need to get my input. Thank you for your understanding.
James, thanks a lot for your input. It's cool to know that other guys doing the program check my log and get feedback. Your kudos are highly appreciated.
Chris, same goes to you of course. It's extremely valuable to get told that I am on the right track and handling the program as intended (although you really left little room for guesswork) by an experienced guy like you. As for the one-step-ahead thing: I have had slight glances on what you mean: Yesterday and today, I could tell that some girls were just totally thrown off guard, but at the same time waiting for me to lead the way. I somehow felt their curiosity and their excitement. Can't wait to see more.
Generally, this kind of support might be what makes the difference for some guys to go on or quit. Being a loner and an outlier in your (wider) real-life social circle is one thing -- but being completely alone on sth is another. Back-up by peers, and may it "only" be within an internet community, makes things a lot easier or even possible in the first place. At least I find it motivating and am thankful for it, even if I am no quitter usually.
However things may be, it's day 40: Task: Walk up to / stop 10 girls and say "Wait a second -- you're cute" and say your name. Then walk up to / stop 10 more, say "Wait a second -- you're cute", hold your hand up for a high five and say your name. Execution: Today at lunch time. All in one pack. Took me 1:15hr. First 10 in 55min. Last 30 in 20min. (What the motherfuck?!) Reflection: This day was very interesting. I wanted to do it all around lunch time to avoid the forecasted bad weather later today. But the first ten didn't come easy. I could only think that I had to do like 30+ more and was calculating how fucking long this would take and that I had other things to do. Also my motivation was low because I did high fives already yesterday. Consequently, I got caught in my head and walked around uselessly. (I was also in the main shopping street to rotate areas a little which I still find more difficult.) At one point I surrendered and just agreed with myself that I'd roam town the whole fucking day if that's what it took. From then on it got a little easier, but still not super quick. Reactions were also mixed; some were fine, some were disinterested. I think my expectations were also a bit too high from yesterday.
But the last 30, I don't know how exactly it happened again. I got to the lakeside promenade where things were a bit more chill. The high-fives may have closed the deal for me. After I did the first one with heaps of people sitting around and watching, I stopped caring whoever watched. I was just bouncing from pack to pack (most consisting of two girls) telling them they were cute and said my name. 11--20 and 31--40 all got a high five as demanded (not a single didn't return it), 1--10 and 21--30 only when they reacted favorably btw. I was super happy when I was done after walking down the promenade once and could get back to work.
Some reactions worth mentioning: Two packs of girls next to each other looked at me as if I was the Grinch. They high-fived back, but didn't smile or anything. I just laughed at them and left. Another girl, after I was already 5m away again, said like: "Yo, that's it?! No hug, no kiss?" I went back, hugged her, and tried to kiss here for fun (she called me back to her, so I guess I didn't break the drill rule), but she only wanted to give me a smooch on the cheek (-: She said she was freshly separated. And one girl even tried to screen me, hahaha: When I gave her a high five, she tried to grab my hand. And she gave me a blink like a player when I was smiling and wishing her a nice day. Damn, she must be reading this website. Player girl: if you read this, PM me!
All in all I am glad I have these high volume days down. The thought of approaching 40 girls a day left me quite psyched in the morning, and the time investment is potentially considerably larger. I'm lucky that I am flexible with work and gym -- and that I had a good weather window of two days (-:
Keep it going everybody. It only gets better.
Task: Talk to 4x5 girls and say: "You're cute" (look at her for 2 secs), ...+time, ...+directions, ...+high five, ...+another high five. Execution: Today after work. Took me 40min. Reflection: A little more low-key than yesterday.Weather was bad again, yuck. No ridiculous flow or anything. Also mainly moving targets, different to yesterday. Went fine, though. Three ones who left the interaction without chance on recovery before I could finish. Didn't like that, but wasn't too bad, either. Apart from that, nothing special. The usual mixed stuff.
Thanks, CJ. Don't know exactly how, but day 40 went really smooth after I got over the first ten. The same flow that happened on the high five days. But not everything is sunshine and rainbows here (especially not sunshine currently, little fucker of a summer). Today is one of those days. Maybe because of me moving to a new place today, maybe due to the high number of similar repetitions the last days (I developed a sincere dislike for the word "cute", never really liking it in the first place), maybe for another random reason. But just like you on day 42, I had a motivation low. I felt it right when waking up this morning and couldn't really get over it. First attempt while walking to work, second attempt in the afternoon. Both times, I just didn't manage to motivate myself to get started. Otherwise it should have been downhill, I've had longer interactions than this earlier this week. Nevertheless walked around for a while, and finally decided that I'd never be happy with that performance and would consequently more efficiently spend my time getting some work done. Gonna knock it out tomorrow (-:
Cheers for the input buddy. Keep rolling yourself, you're almost there!
You are doing amazingly well. I am stalling at day 39 right now. After 100 approaches in 2 days I am drained.
I experience moments of high like you described where I went from girls to girls not caring that they saw me approach another gir l 30 seconds ago. I need a break. My legs are sore. I feel this is the point of no return. After this I cannot puss out in not approaching cute girls when I see one.
SmoothOperator, I am very happy to read that you are still in the game! If you made it already to day 39, I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to finish week 6. It is true that these high numbers of approaches are draining and require special motivation. I didn't have a drained feeling while approaching or after finishing a day because it went well. But I could tell from my motivation yesterday that something was off. I hope you keep at it. If you need any motivation or maybe some more detailed experiences, just shout it out.
For me it was day 42 today: Task: Talk to 5x4 girls and say: "You're cute" and your name, ...+shake her hand, ...+time, ...+directions. Execution: Today on my way to work, mainly inside the main station. Took me a little more than one hour I estimate, including the way to work. Reflection: Felt much better than yesterday when waking up, also due to a new mattress. I slept better than the whole last week. The execution was rather slow on this one, but I don't feel bad about it at all. It was between morning and lunch, so were not too many girls around. I did the first one quickly and got into a chat with her because we took the same bus. The next few I did at my local train station. Then went to the main station and circled inside there because of the heavy rain. No shotgun approaching, but every single girl shook my hand back. Instead of having this extreme flow like before, I felt very calm and down-to-earth. I am sure that this was reflected in voice (I noticed it was deeper and less energetic than before) and body language as well. In the end, it is a low-energy day due to the weather. Interestingly, I had more problems with the first two parts of this drill than with extending the interaction. I thought it was weird to introduce myself and just leave. Mostly I said sth like "Yo, that was it already. Have a nice day." and wandered off. However, after I got 10 down (seems to be a sweet spot), the first two also went with ease.
Most of the girls were really happy about my compliment only few thought it was weird. I could tell I brightened most girls' day. Every single one was polite enough to shake my hand back (it is hard to refuse an extended hand anyway).
Looking forward for tomorrow when we're gonna get even more rain. I feel like the Rain Man -- although probably not autistic (-:
Task: Walk up to 7x3 girls and give them a high five and tell them they're cute, ...+say your name, ...+shake their hands. Execution: Today on my way to and in town. Took me long 1.5hrs. Reflection: Read the drill and thought it shouldn't be a problem. The first two I got down quickly at my local station. It was gray but not raining, so I thought it should be some girls around. Well, there were a few but less than I expected; maybe I was a little too early in town since I took it easy yesterday night. After I had arrived at my usual area (takes a bit), I got up to ten in a decent time. But then it started raining pretty badly, and I didn't know where the fuck to go anymore. After I walked around for a while without a real plan, I decided to go back to the main station. Got two or three more on the way. Once I had arrived there, finishing the last ones were not a real problem. I think it was a valuable lesson having to more or less cold start three times in total. I am aware that this was slower than it should be, but I am very confident that it would be no problem at all knocking it out with good weather. However, I wanna spend tomorrow -- the afternoon has good forecast!!! -- to attempt the eye contact drill and not waste it on this one, which was supposedly a victim of bad circumstances.
Talking about tomorrow, I am afraid that it's gonna be tough. I may have to water it down a little to girls that I catch checking me out (or they look me in the eyes briefly more than once) or other warm signals I notice when I am in their proximity -- and hope that I can get the required number that way. I guess it would be even hard back home in my part of Germany where people are more bold, but here in Switzerland it's somewhat impossible. During the last year, I remember three occasions where a girl held eye contact with me for long enough. I often play the chicken game with just about anybody while walking down the street, and I stare down like 98% of other people (wild estimate). Folks here are just not extrovert at all. It's like walking around in Tokyo, wanting to make eye contact: Won't happen because it is a huge sign of impoliteness in Japanese culture.
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.