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Thanks, baseballkid. But as far as I can see, you're doing a great job, too, so I can return the kudos. It is true that I found most drills well-doable so far, even if I was psyched before. This might be due to my favorable starting point or due to the structure of the program. Probably a combination of both. But I am sure things will get real soon and am looking forward to push the boundary. I mean, I'm not doing this program for nothing, I'm excited how it will change me. As far as I can tell, it already did.
Anyway, on to day 21:
Task: Go out at night alone and squeeze ten girls' arms. As a challenge, change venue and repeat. Execution: Went to a weekly party I had been to once or twice before. Took me 15 minutes, then I left again. On the way home, I spotted another bar with a few people in there. I went in, squeezed 7 girls, ran or of feasible targets, went out again where people are smoking, and squeezed another three. Challenge half-complete I'd say, fine for a Wed night. Reflection: Going out alone was not really a problem. I have done this several times, particularly when I was living on a different continent where I didn't know people. I also took some girls home back then. Had not done it in 6 months or so because the night life here is a little boring and less open to loners. But no comparison to my first night out where I felt really out of place and was lucky enough that some girls chatted me up (-: Anyway, enough history. Today I felt some anxiety clearly for the first time. I was standing in the club with not really many people around and was only seeing girls in company with guys. I didn't attempt to squeeze those and my thoughts started to nag me that I wouldn't make it if the party stayed like this. But then I saw some girls coming in and did what I always do: chilled at the bar and enjoyed the music. (I was sober btw, I always am when I'm out alone; prefer to be clear when I'm alone.) I calmed down quickly and after another 5 minutes, I went in on the dance floor and squeezed the girls there that were not obviously with a guy. Found another three in the smoker's lounge and a few on the way. Probably squeezed 15 or sth. Most girls were reacting positively or at least giggled because I was not flying under the radar at all -- the club was quite empty. Also, it is easy to stand out on weekdays if you look good. Decided to leave anyway because I really have to get work done tmrw. To give the challenge a chance, I did a detour when going home. Found a bar, but only seven approachable (aka not chatting in a one-on-one with a guy) girls inside. One wanted to hook me up with her friend, but I decided she was not hot enough. Found another three standing outside, squeezed them, asked them for a good party, and left. Even if it fucks with all sports I do and leaves me hung over usually, I still like nightlife. It's just always good for surprises.
Sorry for the long story. Hopefully not tl;dr for most of you, haha (-: Don't stop the party,
Task: Say to 3x4 girls hey, ...+where the next store for suspenders is, ...+because your mom told you you look good in suspenders, ...+suspenders are a good idea because you lost so much weight, your pants go down constantly. As a challenge add a fifth drill with ...+one can see my butt crack. Execution: Right before lunch again. Fairly easy, took me 15 min for 15 drills (did the challenge). Reflection: Not a lot to say. I found it easier than some of the drills before. Maybe because one is not trying to be interested in the girl at all and really just joking around, maybe because I got more used to it. Either way, nothing special happened, except the girls usually laughing when I came to explaining why I need suspenders. The last one asked "Where exactly is the problem?" when I told her one could see my butt crack, haha! Not a single one definitely knew where to get them, seems like they are out of fashion (-:
Task: Ask 3x10 girls if they know how to get to the Sesame Street. As a challenge add "I'm not a rapist." After they answered. Execution: Did it before getting to work, before lunch, and after lunch. Took me 2x15min and 10min, respectively. I added the rapist stuff for around 50%. Reflection: There is this stereotype about Swiss people that they don't understand irony. I have found it to be true in many cases, and today was an excellent example. Of the girls I asked, all but one gave me a genuine answer and said they had no idea. Maybe five or six laughed a little. Of the 30 girls, probably a quarter looked it up in their smart phone to help me. (I let them do whatever they had to, which took quite some time because apparently there is no Sesame Street in Zurich.) I did not have a funny guy / entertainer vibe because that's not exactly my thing (my humor is rather dry and in-your-face-like), maybe that added to the serious reactions. When the 29th girl called me out on it (she was German as I could tell by her accent -- oh humorous Germans), I was so surprised that I had no idea how to react (-: However, since the drill was not to make the girls laugh, but just to ask for the Sesame Street, success. As a side note, I could tell from their reaction ("Oh, no worries, it's alright.") that most girls thought I was apologizing for talking to them when I said I wasn't a rapist. All in all somewhat amusing, but not nearly as entertaining as expected. Who cares.
Yo Matt, thanks again for the kudos. So far no big problems, yea. I hope other guys watching this see that this can actually be fun and don't get demotivated instead. My social freedom was maybe above-average to start with and I just needed a push. Who knows. So far I can only recommend to every fellow loser who is struggling to stick with it (-: For the sake of curiosity at least. There's hardly any downside if you have the time.
Anyway, day 24. Give me your thoughts on this one if you have any:
Task: Ask 2x15 girls what they want for their birthday. Don't give up until you have asked three times. As a challenge, tell them you will get them whatever they wanted. Execution: Went around town. First time before gym, 45min. Second time after gym, 30min. Did the challenge maybe on a third, but slightly paraphrased (see below). Reflection: What a nasty fucking day. Spray rain, cloudy. Yuck. The drill itself I found not too hard again. No strong anxiety whatsoever. The drill itself was actually funny. I did it with a smirk on my face. Girls were quite confused, roughly half just repeated "No idea" until I let go. The other half started thinking after the second time and had some really interesting responses ("money", "love", "happiness", "making music" -- wtf?!). Interestingly, the three uber hotties I approached were really friendly -- even if one was obviously as confused as her mini bodyguard orbiter who looked like a chimp on Valium and just stared at me with an empty face. (I didn't see him when I chatted her up, but he was easy to ignore since way smaller than me; or maybe they didn't belong together at all and he wanted a birthday present, too, haha.) Also, it was actually one girl's birthday, score! I could tell from the answers that many girls assumed that this was 1) some kind of riddle with a best answer or 2) I was searching for present ideas for my girlfriend -- remarkably, the ones in the shopping district more the latter. Cognitive science 101: Your mind will skim the most obvious solutions to a problem until it found something that it can excuse as sufficient (-: I was nevertheless surprised how many fulfilled my request, even if I never agreed to tell them what this was for.
However, two things I'm a little concerned about, and am gonna keep the drill in mind for the evaluation at the end of the week. First, it took me longer than usual for, supposedly, external reasons: I tried to do it solely on single girls as recommended and had a really hard time finding any -- girls really are pack shoppers, wow! I do need some better spots for bad weather. In the end, did probably 5 of the second set on packs of girls (which I found even easier, don't know the rationale behind single girls). Second, I was paraphrasing a bit: I had to do it mostly on walking girls, which was not a problem, but I stopped them with: "Yo, gotta second?" or "Hey, quick question here." Also, I altered the questions themselves partly: If they said "I don't know", I answered "No idea for a birthday present? Seriously?" My common sense tells me that this does not undermine the drill since this is no rocket science, but of course sounding like a broken record involves higher social pressure since it's just extremely weird. I am not sure what Chris had in mind when designing this stuff. Lastly, I developed second thoughts about the challenge. The first girl I did the challenge on thought she won a lottery for a journey (yeah, right; I looked like a hobo since I was about to hit the gym) and was disappointed when I wished her a nice day and walked away. I was feeling sorry because I don't like letting people down who are nice to me. That's why I paraphrased it to "I would totally get you a..." instead of "I will get you a..." subsequently when they were nice enough to tell me something cool. If anybody has any thoughts on this whole matter, let me know. Otherwise, he might forever hold his peace (-:
I will repeat day 24 and day 25, either both tomorrow or tomorrow and the day after since I feel I can do better. No need to rush.
As for day 24, I will not paraphrase again. I did day 25 today without paraphrasing what Chris wrote down and I felt the same is possible and maybe necessary for day 24.
Day 25 I finished today successfully, but I wasn't quite satisfied with my performance. It is always a little challenging on Sundays anyway, but I feel like additional exposure doesn't do harm here (read below).
Task: Ask 15 girls "What's for lunch?". Repeat the question until they answer with a food, but at most four times. As a challenge, ask a fifth time. Execution: Went to town for it, early afternoon. Enough girls around in the station, but I find it rather hard in very crowded open spaces. Also found quite some girls when I switched to the old town. Took me 50min. Did the challenge probably on around half of them. Reflection: The time itself hints already at it: Today I needed longer to get into it. I did not paraphrase like yesterday, but stuck to the drill as written. First, I went to a more crowded area and found it difficult to approach there rapidly since I felt watched (even if the first one was not a problem). Did around 6 there and then went downtown to do the rest. Last 5 were really easy, but the goal must be to finish all 15 with ease. Most girls were really confused when I asked them. Tourists showed more humor than Swiss girls on average. 11 of the 15 didn't get it at all, even when I asked 5 times. Btw, I got bagel, pizza, and cheeseburger as answers. Nom, nom, nom. I am pretty sure I can do this drill well and fast without big problems the next time.
Execution: Did it before and after lunch. Took me 15 minutes each. Did the challenge around 5 times I think. Reflection: Good idea to repeat it. I think this was important to adapt the mindset for the whole rest of this week. It went way better than the first try; I actually had the feeling to take the piss out of the girls. I was more confident and didn't care too much when some people were watching. I also did not paraphrase significantly anymore, to relieve social tension -- I just repeated the question if they didn't give me a proper answer. I stopped them with a stronger frame, just saying "Yo" or "Hey" before I asked them what they wished for their birthday.
Up to come is day 25, take 2. Probably not today, but tomorrow.
Execution: Around lunch time. Took me 20 minutes. Did the challenge around 3--4 times. Reflection: Also good to redo this one. Now I can move on without second thoughts. Got in quickly on the first one (unlike last Sunday) and moved on nicely. I thought girls would understand it better around lunch time, but for the reactions it didn't make a big difference. Most just told me they just had lunch, or continued asking counter questions until I left. The challenge also went better, I asked as if they were retarded ("I ask again now: What -- is -- for -- lunch?").
I will try to also finish Arnie today and then the next three one each day to have a chance of doing the night time one on Saturday. (Next week I am gonna be largely in foreign cities -- bad for night time drills.) After Saturday, I plan to repeat those of the next four drills that didn't go nicely until they fit. Let's see if that plan works out.
Task: Play the "Who's your daddy and what does he do?" game with 10 girls. Repeat until they answer, but a max of three times. As a challenge, yell "I am Detective John Kimble!" at them if they interrupt you. Execution: Between work and gym. Took me 30 min, didnt do the challenge. Reflection: Definitely didn't like it too much because I haven't seen the movie and nobody gets it due to translation to German. In English it sounds way funnier to me. But that didnt really affect my execution. Got shot down several times (probably chatted up 20+ girls), but finished it comparatively fast I think. The first one was already the hardest, she kept staring on her phone without answering at all really. I was glad when the next group of two (that didn't run away) were totally cracking up which made me also laugh pretty hard (-: Some girls answered immediately and were fun to play with, but most not, especially considering the ones who just ran away, haha! All in all the most polarizing drill so far, probably also because it is really uncommen here to ask strangers private stuff. Stuck up country. As a side note, didn't do the challenge because no girl interrupted me, at least not that I noticed -- I just kept babbling.
Task: Tap a girl on the shoulder and tell her you have a question, ...+ask her directions to the beach, ...+ flex your muscles for 5 seconds, ...+ flex them for another 5 seconds. As a challenge, flex them for a total of 30 seconds. Execution: Labor day today, so nobody works (the name doesn't make sense at all). But fortunately, the weather was fine, so I didn't have any problems to find enough people around lunch time. Did the challenge twice. Reflection: So much fun, hahaha! Didn't have a problem executing at all because the build-up is slow. Most girls were confused when I tapped them on the shoulder, said "Yo Bro, I gotta question" and then said "never mind" and left. After that, the fun started. Calling a girl bro is even better in German ("Bruder") because it used to be the lousy attempt of wannabe gangsters to translate brother and is almost only used by, well, wannabe gangsters. I also made some nice noises when I was flexing to simulate physical effort. Almost all girls actually cracked up or were at least between laughing and thinking "Is this guy serious?" In one mixed group, the guy was getting a little pissed (he was tinier than me) and told me to "put on my show somewhere else." I just laughed it away after I was done and told him that I'm just joking around. The girls were cracking up. What a loser. The two challenges were most fun. One time I stopped a moving pack of two and kept flexing for another 15 seconds alone when they left. A few guys sitting outside a cafe were helpful enough to tell me "that they ran away already. You can stop it." just when the 30 seconds were done. At least the chicks told me that I "look good" when walking away laughing. The second one I did on girls that would not run away (they were sitting at the lakeside). I flexed for like 25 seconds when a supposedly gay runner who was passing by said "I like this". Couldn't hold it and totally cracked up while flexing for another 5 seconds. When I told the girls that the runner "totally fucked up my attempt" they also started laughing and I left.
Cannot say I was totally comfortable doing all this (it is still pretty fucking retarded and is out of the comfort zone), but the fun totally outweighed the discomfort.
nice work man. day 27 was a lot of fun. i agree that it was pretty uncomfortable, but it was fun enough that i didnt even care haha. what was your method for taping people on the shoulder? sometimes i would touch them as they were walking toward me, but they sometimes tried to dodge my touch lol. so mostly i tapped girls from behind or sideways.
before you succeed at anything, you must first believe it is possible.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.