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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14)
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TOPIC: Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14)

Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14) 15 Dec 2022 03:53 #335914

I've been doing the AA program on and off for a few months now. I'd start, get busy, then start again. I've completed up to day 13 so far. Currently stuck on day 14 (high fives).

Here is my log of my days up until now.

Day 4 ask them for the time
  • this was the hardest day of them all, until day 14/li]
  • asking a random girl for her number the first time gave me tons of anxiety
  • I kept pushing myself and rationalized that asking for the time was easy and harmless (which it is)
  • I eventually did 1, then after that 2, and the rest came way more easily
  • the first one was the hardest by far, then you realize that you can do it without something horrible happening, in fact most people (80%) are totally willing to help you as long as they are not busy/doing something

Day 5 ask them for the time (faster)
  • same thing but faster, way easier the second round
  • did it in 20 minutes, first time took me an hour

Day 6 Time, Directions, Have you been there?
  • the trick to this was getting the timing on the 2nd and 3rd follow up questions
  • too slow and they walk away, too fast and it comes off weird and off putting
  • after that it's not too bad
  • started challenging myself with hotter and hotter girls, the hotter they are the more anxious i became about their reactions, but it was a good challenge

Day 7 (talk to very first girl) Time, Directions, Have you been there?,
  • this was tough cause you had to be ready to go from the jump
  • but the lesson was correct, getting it done quickly starts your momentum and everything moves way faster afterwards/li]
  • this is the default now whenever I drill to get thing going moving quickly, the longer I linger the more I lose momentum and want to quit

Day 8 Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave
  • adding a fourth question was a bit challenging cause it creates more of a conversation
  • it also creates a situation where the girl is either cool to continue or would rather leave and get on with her day
  • still very doable and get you used to talking to strangers and engaging in conversations
  • one of the important lessons here was how to stay in the conversation and not let them slip away as some girls are not interested in continuing the exchange.
  • sometimes I would walk with them until I got through everything to keep them engaged
  • other girls were willing to stay there and chat with you, no problem

Day 9 Time, Have you ever eaten at [nearby restaurant]?, Did you like it?
  • this was easier than the previous one for me
  • its a random opinion question, those are easy for people
  • its harder when you're asking them to do something I feel
  • most girls responded positively with either a yes or a no

Day 10 Time, Do you know if there is a movie theater near here?, Have you seen any good movies lately?
  • the movie theater thing was a great exercise cause bridges you into asking deeper questions from a person
  • got some hit and miss responses, some girls felt like i wanted something more from the interaction and that was great exposure
  • still just talk, so not huge shift, just switching the context of the questions

Day 11 Time, Is there a place that sells cell phones around here?, What phone do you have?, Do you like it?
  • this one took me a couple times, but still not too bad, does the same thing as the theater, shift context
  • similar type of responses and good exposure to asking more personal questions
  • sometimes a girl might flirt back to you as you ask the last 2 questions, getting the sense you want something else
  • they can also walk away from you, barely answering, for the same reason

Day 12 Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, I'm planning a candlelit dinner for my girlfriend, I'm the sweetest guy ever, Leave
  • this one was fun once you get into it cause it's slightly embarrassing, but eventually becomes fun
  • most girls will say "aw thats so cute" and that will be it
  • the last line was especially tough to squeeze in because it's not a question, just a statement, so a lot of girls would start walking away mid sentence. So it required some grit to stay in and finish the line
  • overall it was a fun drill and again great exposure

Day 13 Time, Random question- Do you know anywhere that sells good wine?, I got a promotion at work/Passed my test at school and I want to celebrate, What type do you recommend?, Leave
  • this one was basically the same but with a wine store instead, and a promotion at work
  • took me a few times to get this one cause it a long sequence so I couldn't always finish before some walked off
  • i did get some good reactions, one girl offered to walk me to the store to show me where it was
  • does the same thing as the earlier drills, shift context and asks deeper questions, giving the feeling that you want something more

(In progress) Day 14 Give 10 girls a high-five
  • currently working on this onw, went out 2 times so far
  • got rejected every time I asked for a high five
  • i my anxiety is through the roof on this one, big shift on the program for me
  • feels like my Day 4 experience all over again. can't figure out how to make this work yet
  • I'm going to try breaking the ice with an opening question, either Time or "random question, can I get a high five" and see how that goes. Feels like it could help give the person a read on me before I ask the question
  • i did notice that people (including me) like to get a read on who they are talking to before they engage
  • this is also why its important to look good (dress good, well groomed, smell good) before you go do these things. it greatly improves your success rate for this reason. Looking shabby increases your rejection rate.

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Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14) 18 Dec 2022 03:26 #335916

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Hey good job so far, man.

If you can get through week 2 and 3, then I firmly believe you can make it through the rest of the problem. Those are where some of the drills really ramp up in difficulty, but it'll really get your foot in the door to start doing sillier and "scarier" drills.

Starting the approach by asking for a hive five isn't a bad idea. What I've done is just say "yo!" to get their attention and then just say "High five". Worked for me at least
"Jstone is a tremendous guy. Ask anyone, they'll tell you. Tremendous." - *Former president Trump
- Bang at least 5 girls from cold approach in 2017: 1/5
- Bang one girl from cold approach before 2017: DONE
- Graduate with Bachelor's of science in Nursing December 2017
Height: 5'7" Age: 26 Lays: 12

My completed AA Log: www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-app...anxiety/135838-jston

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Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14) 28 Dec 2022 19:03 #335934

Thanks for the tio bro. I'll give that a try.

What's your feeling on the more weird/embarrassing stuff they're asking you to do? Is it helpful in any way? Is it just extra, but not necessary?

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Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14) 09 Jan 2023 20:25 #335953

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You signed a petition, or were supposed to, promising that you will finish the program exactly as written. If you do so, you'll thank him later.

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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
Weeks 1 & 2 (Days 1- 14)
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