TOPIC: Day 28 journal

Ask 10 girls, "Do you know how I can get to Sesame Street?"
* Challenge: After you say that and she responds, the challenge is to say- "I'm not a rapist."
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 30 girls.

I did this to 4 girls yesterday and wasnt able to finish a set. Than today I got 1 set in and it went pretty well. Most of the girls were nice and but what I see myself doing is usually going to the ones ik are easier are most likely not reject me. its an avoidant technique ik but this has been going on a while and I need to find a way to work on them. tomm the goal is to finish the last 2 sets

Nothing today. Im waterfasting and wanted to use today to plan and think. Will be back tomm

Ask 10 girls, "Do you know how I can get to Sesame Street?"
* Challenge: After you say that and she responds, the challenge is to say- "I'm not a rapist."
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 30 girls.

I did 1 set yesterday and 1 set today. it was interesting, i went to a store and asked the lady and she was really nice about it and she showed the directions on her phone for like a whole 3 min trying to explain it to me and I found it to be really cute. The next lady I went in another clothing store and asked her and she was super sweet and she also pulled out the navi and was genuinely trying to help me and told me that she used to work there (theres a sesame place 10 min from my house) and I gave her a high 5 before I left. Most of the girls I asked in this drill didn't know where it was. A few negative reactions where they either ignored me or was irritated that I even approached them. My main issue is I have a hard time approaching girls in public areas so I try to go find the ones that are more isolated and alone and or store workers. I dont approach girls with guys, I have trouble stopping a girl while shes walking,I dont approach another girl when the girl I already did to before her sees me and I dont approach much in public areas and if I do she's either standing/sitting or I rarely approach while shes walking in a pubic place. Another one is the malls that I went to already plenty times and it feels like the workers know me every time I go back. Partially it AA for sure but I also feel that its also the fact that i need to work on my day to day scheduling and other negative habits like procrastination before leaving the house and wondering in my head of the drills and just overthinking of the negatives before I even go out. Just some thoughts to put down

Ask 15 girls, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not, ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they still don't answer- you can leave.
* Challenge: "I'll give you a- whatever she said she wanted" (see audio)
Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 30 girls.

I did 9 approaches in 2 malls and finished the set in like 4/5 diff stores. Only did one set today. Most reactions were neutral, I got some positive ones. One girl was working w her friend and I went up and asked her and they started laughing, her friend said a boyfriend as I was leaving and I stopped and said well im open for applications if she wants to sign up and they smiled and the girl said no thanks. Another one It was in the parking lot and she was putting her groceries in her car and I was contemplating if I should do it bc I couldnt really see her and she was white(im usually intimidated of the hot ones) so I wasnt sure of how she looked but I forced myself to do it and went up and asked I have a question and I want to know your real response, she said idk $50 dollars w a complete genuine smile and laughter on her face and it just made me happy seeing her reaction. 2 ladies that were working said sleep, and another girl was all smiley and said idk my birthdays in 2 months. The rest were either confused or just kind of ignored and said no. Overall it was not bad but still have the issue of approaching girls 1 on 1 and not publically near other people. I catch myself everytime waiting for a guy/lady near a girl I want to approach to leave or I usually just skip them

Ask 15 girls, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not, ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they still don't answer- you can leave.
* Challenge: "I'll give you a- whatever she said she wanted" (see audio)
Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 30 girls.

Today I got in 7 girls at the mall. The reactions were pretty positive, I asked 2 girls and one thought about it and said a monkey and her friend said money in there first try but I counted both of them as 1 rep and than I asked how far there birthdays were and said I would get that for them and left. I went upto another worker at aeropostale and asked her and she kept saying idk I dont usually get anything for my birthday but after the 3rd time asking she asked her friend near her and she said a starbucks giftcard so I said the samething that I would get it for her in her birthday and left. The rest of the chicks were a idk or pretty much nothing. I did the drill an hour before I went to work so I was tight on time to complete the whole set today but one thing I realize consistently is that the thought of me doing the drills before I leave the house is more anxiety driven than actually going out and doing them. Its like everytime I end up forcing myself to go out to do the drills even if its just 1 set gives the feeling of accomplishment and it wasn't bad as I thought it was. Literally its all in your head, its just you vs your limitations.

I did 3 girls the days before yesterday but yesterday and today I hadn't done any mainly because I have just been procrastinating. I also have been going through some emotional stuff so ive been just trying to find ways to really distract myself which is funny because doing the AA program is the best distraction that gives me the natural high but im actually going to deal with it by asking for help soon. Anyways will be back tomm and I will finish this program even if I have to do 1 set of each drill at a time.

Ask 15 girls, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not, ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they give you an answer, you can leave.
If not ask them again, "What do you want for your birthday?"
If they still don't answer- you can leave.
* Challenge: "I'll give you a- whatever she said she wanted" (see audio)
Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 30 girls.

Finally finished the remaining the last 5 reps. I went to target and did 2 girls before work, one said a mothers ring from my kids and the other was a security lady and said she wanted money. The remaining 3 I went to 3 different wawas and asked 2 workers and a girl and they all responded the same that they weren't sure. Going to do day 25 tomm.

Day 25

Hey, What's for lunch?
No seriously, What's for lunch?
No for real, What's for lunch?
Hey, I really need to know, What's for lunch?
* Challenge: I am going to ask you a 5th and final time, What.is.for.lunch?
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 15 girls.

Today I asked about 7 women and it was around 7pm and almost all of them said idk and one got defensive and said its not funny after the 4th time asking. Some were just confused and kept asking what I had lunch for today? or for tomm? mainly bc it was around dinner time and I was asking them for lunch. I mainly did employees today when they were alone or isolated. I want to push myself to do atleast 3 uncomfortable reps and call it a success whether or not I finish the drill so that way im getting out my comfort zone and not just going for the isloated women and lower tier girls. Im going to experiment with doing less reps with more AA
Adios

Hey, What's for lunch?
No seriously, What's for lunch?
No for real, What's for lunch?
Hey, I really need to know, What's for lunch?
* Challenge: I am going to ask you a 5th and final time, What.is.for.lunch?
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 15 girls.

Today I was able to only get 2 reps legit, I did 4 total but I didnt go all the way to the 4th part for the other 2. I wanted to do the harder ones that bring out more my AA which is usually doing drills in public around people but I didnt do it bc I was being a lil bitch and couldnt even get myself to do 1 hard one. The thoughts that come up is usually she might see me again in the mall and its going to be weird af. No shit its not supposed to be easy and even if its weird who gaf? recently ive been really slacking not only with AA but my day to day routines. Anyways one of the ladies I went in the store and she was turkish lady in prob her early 30s and I asked her and she said no that she eats home food and we were just going back and forth asking eachothers questions about ethnicity, languages,etc for like 5 min. The second one was a younger girl working but she was the idk one but she was really receptive and open after I asked her about her job (a painting store) and was just explaining about it.
Other than that Ill be finishing the drill tomm
Adios

Hey, What's for lunch?
No seriously, What's for lunch?
No for real, What's for lunch?
Hey, I really need to know, What's for lunch?
* Challenge: I am going to ask you a 5th and final time, What.is.for.lunch?
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 15 girls.

Did 7 girls today and also did 2 on girls that were eating. I did a older lady and she got defensive saying what is this for youtube.or your friends? The rest were similar responses. Going to goto sleep and finish the rest tomm.

We are going to play a game.
It's called- WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
READY?
[SHE CAN TALK]
WHO IS YOUR DADDY AN WHAT DOES HE DO?
* Challenge: If they interupt you, yell at them- "I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBALL" and restart the drill.
Repeat this 10 times, you will speak to 10 girls.

Ok so this drill combined with my mental state I was in which was me being completely feeling self conscious and paranoid bc I would pay attention to people looking at me or even glaring and that would create the vicious cycle in my head. First I did 1 rep but I didn't do it all the through for a third time so it didn't count. I spent about 30 min in the mall and didn't get anyone and than I ended up going to stores and found one and went and saw a girl in a customer service room and went in. She said you customers are not allowed to come in so I went back out and she wore her mask and started to come towards me. I went w the drill and she said excuse me? I went for the second round and she asked do you need help w anything or is that just something your telling me? I said its something im telling her and she said ok your really making me uncomfortable rn and from than I realized the way she was acting since I saw her it was obvious that she was one of those boring and insecure girls. So I left and I had to go somewhere.
This is a tough drill but I will get through it

We are going to play a game.
It's called- WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
READY?
[SHE CAN TALK]
WHO IS YOUR DADDY AN WHAT DOES HE DO?
* Challenge: If they interupt you, yell at them- "I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBALL" and restart the drill.
Repeat this 10 times, you will speak to 10 girls.

Went out for about an hour at night time looking for stores. I ended up going to a store and I saw a fatter girl and wanted to do atleast 1 rep for the day. There were people around and I didnt want them hearing so I went out and was inside my car and did the drill when she came out, she ended up say she doesnt have parents and shes married. So I said sorry to hear that and went home.

Going to go for atleast 2 girls tomm in the mall
Adios

We are going to play a game.
It's called- WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
READY?
[SHE CAN TALK]
WHO IS YOUR DADDY AN WHAT DOES HE DO?
* Challenge: If they interupt you, yell at them- "I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBALL" and restart the drill.
Repeat this 10 times, you will speak to 10 girls

Went to the mall today and was a lil suprised that I was able to do it. I did 2 employee girls that were prob 18/19 and onE said her father worked at a bank and the other said teacher. It was interesting bc it wasnt bad as I imagined it would be but the thing I realize is that getting in there asap helps or else your aa builds up and you start overthinking everything. Anyways im going to continue the drill tomm
Adios