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Took an hour on my own away from the friend that is visiting me from out of town and tried doing drills. Only did one set without the challenge, and did the reps poorly. Then I stopped. Couldn't get myself to do more.
I am not sure what threw me off today. For one, I am tired. Big factor in my performance always. This drill requires being relaxed and forward, I couldn't be that today. But I also think the drill has an aspect that legit gives me strong AA. First I thought it was the aspect of giving random embarassing information to strangers. But doing it on a 50-year old dude wasn't something I was scared of. I think it is specifically about uselessly revealing embarassing information to an attractive girl. Sure, the funny man stuff from last week was also embarassing. But it wasn't anything embarassing about me, just the way I acted. Plus it was somehow funny/fucking around. This is plain embarassing.
I'm pissed I couldn't get myself to do it. Always feels horrible to fail at a drill. Will give it another try tomorrow.
RogerRoger wrote: Are you in a more conservative area of Germany? In the states, it's definitely more common to be white knighted in the south and pretty rare elsewhere.
No to the contrary, I am in fairly left-oriented town. There is also a stereotype of lefty dudes that loves to white knight: SJW-type dudes who are big into feminism or are hoping to get some from being woke. Would put the guy in that category.
In my opinion, "Arnold" day was the hardest drill in the whole program, I kind of cheated and did it at a university campus where most drills are 10x easier to do. So, if you got through Arnold and did it outside a college campus, you'll be able to finish the program easy.
Man, I can't wait until I get my own place again and finish losing about 25lbs. I'm gonna get back into it. i think I'll spam week 6 and 7 drills to get back into the groove of approaching.
CainGettingLaid wrote: Day 31: Off-topic:
The program used to go up all the way to day 64. People are considering the program finished once you finish day 46 and are able to cold approach via basic guy game. Week 8 has been entirely taken off the GLL site. Does anyone know why? I found the page in the Wayback Archive and at the bottom it even foreshadows a week 9 that develops killer instinct but I don't think it exists. Does anyone know the background to this stuff?
There is still GOA (going out alone) program. Maybe he put ideas of week 9 into it. What I read it's about going out bars and clubs alone and doind drillls there.
Yesterday I went out and finished the clumsy guy drill. I am visiting my parents right now so I did it in the town I grew up in. I imagined that to be kinda weird but it was totally OK. Funny though to ask people for directions in my long-time home town.
I did the required reps and the challenge four times. I didn't count the reps from my first attempt. I also did a few additional reps, including one challenge-rep. Except for the first number one rep, I replaced the first rep (directions only) with higher number reps for efficiency reasons just as on day 32. I did the first challenge-rep on a group of seven chicks which I then noticed to be doing a bachelorette party. Fun stuff.
I am loving and fearing the challenges at the same time. Oftentimes they elicit non-standard reactions because they deliberately leave the norms of normal conversation and go into off-territory. The reactions are more often weirded out and such. The challenge for this drill was to say "I hope you don't fall down and break your neck". It sounds like a threat, even if you accentuate it as an honest good wish. Just as with the "I'm not a rapist"-challenge on the sesame street drill, pronunciation makes a big difference though. I approached one chick who apparently had just gotten her vaccination and she thought it was somehow connected to the vaccination and was freaked out.
Taking two attempts at this drill reminded me once again how crucially important state is. I was way more relaxed and under less stress than on Wednesday. Failing on a day can be a simple result of other shit in your life, don't get discouraged or afraid of the specific drill.
Today, Sunday, is my mental-health off-day. Tomorrow I am travelling and might not be able to get drills in, same on Tuesday because I have an all-day job interview. Should be back for drills no later than Wednesday though.
Didn't manage to do the drill up until yesterday. Was travelling and having a job interview and some severe sleep deprivation. On the bright side, I got a well-paying and flexible job that might finance my getting-laid lifestyle in the near future. The job is to cold approach strangers to convince them to donate for a charity. The minimum donation for the specific charity is like 600$/year so the odds of getting a donation are extremely low (1-4 out of 100-250 approaches a day) and very similar to cold approach lay odds, so that will be a great practice for building frustration tolerance and approach stamina. Plus I can build some general social and conversation skills.
The day 34 drill was about making phone noises and then asking whether the girls hears a phone, and giving compliments.
Starting off was harder than expected which I think is mostly because the last drills were five days back. It got easier though after the first few reps. I wasn't as ballsy today as other times. Skipped a lot of opportunities. Did the required reps and a few more. I'm in Bern (Switzerland) right now which made the drill somewhat funnier due to a language barrier. The people here speak Swiss German, which is a HARDCORE German dialect which I sometimes struggle to understand. So a regular German guy doing these drills was probably double funny/weird. Reactions were mixed as usual: Smiling, perplexed, giggling, weirded out, confused, thanking for the compliment and so on. Doing the drill on standing/sitting girls is easiest. Doing it on girls that are walking towards you is somewhat hard because you must get their attention with the "ring, ring, ring, banana phone!" line and then explicitly address them at which point many have walked by.
Went out today and did the drills. Got the 16 required ones and a few lower-number reps and one challenge rep. The challenge rep was the funnest and the girl got progressively weirded out as I kept going. I tried to really do the "U mad bro?" after everything she said as well, but didn't do it fully because it started becoming a "U mad bro?" "What?" back and forth so I sometimes continued along the regular lines.
This drill was hard to translate because "U mad bro?" is a known phrase while the translation isn't. Plus the sentence has two meanings. First, you are asking the person whether they are mad/angry/crazy. Second, it can be interpreted as wanting to start a fight. Well so I contemplated on it and asked a few friends but got no good ideas from them. One guy who natively speaks German and English recommended to just use the English phrase because it can't really be translated. I started off with that but noone understood it. So I ended up using the literal translation of "Are you angry/pissed brother?". Kinda worked but not as fun as the original.
Reactions mixed as always. Nothing spectacularly positive or negative.
I was a bit ballsier than yesterday and didn't chicken out so much. Regaining momentum.
Did this day before finishing day 36 because I wanted to use the Saturday night. Will be doing day 36 on Monday.
Tonight was about arm-squeezing and telling the girl that you dig her style and looking at her for 1-2 seconds after.
Before going out tonight I was scared as always. But compared to the second nighttime drill the fear felt manageable.
I went out at like 9:15pm which was kinda early. Some of the bars I walked past were still closed, others very empty. Walked around until like 10 when I found a place where I could have done like 3 reps. But didn't go in, I was scared. Really couldn't find a place I was content with, my anxiety kept building up. It felt less manageable now than when I started off.
I'm in Switzerland right now and you can only get into clubs if you are vaccinated or tested. I got lucky and figured out a way to get into a club without having to spend a shitlot of money on a test, which is not free for non-Swiss nationals. But I was so determined to finish the drill I would have paid 50 bucks for a fucking test.
So anyways, it was a packed open-air club which was awesome for this drill. I took two minutes to gather myself. Then got the first ten reps in. Took another break and started the next ten. At that point I had mostly forgotten which chicks I had squeezed and everyone was moving around so avoiding my route from the first set wasn't surefire either. The fear of re-squeezing made it harder. Did the other 10 but slower. I squeezed one chick that said she saw me yesterday. I couldn't fully comprehend what she was saying but I probably did the "U mad bro?" drill on her. She was super friendly though, didn't seem negative. I squeezed one chick twice, only fully noticed when she said "I know". Lol. Didn't count that rep. Got 11 for that set because another one didn't feel proper. Almost decided to leave the place afterwards because I felt uncomfortable but I calmed down and instead got a drink and danced on my own for a while. One of the chicks that I squeezed was dancing next to me. At some point she asked me for fire which was probably just a shy-girl convo opener. I didn't have fire but should have used the opportunity to make conversation. I wasn't present enough in the moment. After dancing for another while I decided to leave but to do one more rep before leaving just to prove to myself I could repeat that stuff. Did it on a chick im a mixed group and the dudes in the group started laughing pretty hard instantly. Not sure why, probably squeezed someone in the group before, maybe even her. 22 reps!
Almost all girls were happy about it and said thanks. Might be due to the drill or my perfomance but the people in this city are also known to be super nice. A cashier chick a few days ago was so nice that I was unsure whether she was trying to flirt with me.
In some sense the nighttime drills have been getting easier each time. The first was creepy as fuck, the second one less and this one was just a legit compliment, completely normal stuff really. Funny it feels to me that way. I talked to a friend a few days ago and told him about the banana phone drill and he said he finds that harder than normal approaches. I guess its differemt for everyone and also the program really gets you used to stuff that is considered hardcore difficult by average guys.
Due to being in a crowded club, thia day was MUCH easier for me than days 21 and 30. I didn't have to face my fears as head on as in the everyone-is-seated-in-the-bar-due-to-Covid-setting. I did the drill under quasi-normal conditions. I didn't have to squeeze multiple chicks in groups like the last two nighttime drills because there were so many people in this club. To recall, I squeezed 12/13 chicks in one place last time. So today wasn't as hard and not such strong exposure therapy. But I got the reps I had to get and that is great.
In retrospection, the fact that getting these reps felt fairly easy once I was in the club just goes to show that the last two nighttime drills were under such extreme conditions that this pretty much seems tame to me. And this is pretty close to what one can use to get laid.
Day 36 (7/15) Nice guy on steroids. One week break.
I did four reps of one set after my day 35 drills a few days ago. Only did three reps today. Did not do any drills yesterday. Instead I watched some series and went to the forest to contemplate. I did both consciously. Today after doing the three reps I stopped and sat by the river and relaxed.
The reason why I didn't do many or any drills the two days was that my social battery has been severely drained, I need downtime. I have either been visited by friends or family or visiting them for over two weeks now. I'm a person that needs to be alone a lot and I have not had enough time to retreat and recover. I usually take my Sundays entirely off and only decide what to do on that day, and it is usually doing something on my own. My past three Sundays I hardly spent time on my own.
I will be travelling and being visited until Sunday. Monday is the first time I will have to really retreat. I don't think I will be back with drills until next Tuesday, probably even later if I need more downtime.
This sucks, but I need to take care of myself. Also, there is no point in forcing these drills on myself repeatedly in this mental state. It only makes me hate approaching and I want to create repetitive positive experiences. I am quite the perfectionist and tend to push myself too hard, making my life a misery in the process. Reading through just my day 37 post is representative of the insane pressure I am putting myself through. I had just finished an incredibly hard drill, and this is my summary:
CainGettingLaid wrote: So today wasn't as hard and not such strong exposure therapy. But I got the reps I had to get and that is great.
Like I wasn't even really enjoying the HUGE success, instead I was looking for mistakes and shortcomings. Absolute insanity.
Taking a week off does not feel great because of this prefectionism, but it is the best thing to do for myself.
The forest reflection unearthed deep things about my past and the motivation behind doing the AA program. It reminded me of the reasons why I am doing this and for a first time clearly brought along the emotions in which these reasons are grounded. In essence, I felt deep anger about my upbringing and family/social origins. I want to be a different man than my father and grandfathers.
I am more certain than ever that I want to finish this program.
Monday through Wednesday I recovered, Thursday and Friday I procrastinated, today I went out and finished Day 36 and since I have done Day 37 already that is it for week five. It was hard to go out after not having done drills for 10 days.
Did one challenge rep. Got out 7 compliments I think. Forgot to take a break between two of them. After 7, there was nothing left to compliment haha. When starting off the day I was not sure whether I would be able to do the challenge but the social momentum and confidence from being back in the field helped me there.
I will not be able to finish the program as quick as intended, but I am happy I am making progress.
I am definitely back well-rested and fairly in balance. This drill gave me way less anxiety than I expected it to. This is kind of a big step for me personally since giving direct sexual compliments is very close to serious sexual interactions which is the core of my AA besides rejection.
Did the drills over a fairly large time span since I didn't pick the most crowded parts of the city. I of course had some anxiety but that lessened fairly quickly after the first few reps.
The reactions were mixed as always. Nothing really negative today, except for a chick that didn't reply at all and looked weirdly. Maybe she was just baffles and insecure. Many neutral or somewhat defensive/skeptical. Many positive and very happy. Sometimes the girls were sceptical/defensive at the "Hey wait a second" part but then super happy and relieved when I complimented them. Not sure what they expected, maybe my voice or appearance was intimidating. Overall the happier/friendlier I was, the more happy/friendly the responses tended to be. One chick complimented me back which really made me happy haha. Not as happy as getting reps though.
I also noticed a lot how much my success in getting reps done depended on voice and assertive body language. Sometimes I was not mentally prepared and somehow slipped into a high and somewhat shy voice. Other times my body language was fairly passive. Both resulted in walkaways more often than otherwise.
It was funny when I approached groups of chicks and then picked one to compliment on. I felt a little bit bad for the girls I didn't compliment on. Sometimes it was a close call and merely randomness, on other occasions one was clearly hotter and I picked that one. If you are a not-so attractive chick and your friends usually get the compliments and you don't, that must suck. I bet that can give you serious self-value issues. Then again, many of the uglier chicks had it coming. Like having short, crazy-colored hair. Or simply being fat. I remember that one interaction from day 33 (clumsy guy). I complimented a chick on her sunglasses. Her friend asked why she didn't get a compliment, she had the exact same sunglasses. I told her that her sunglasses are cool too, but truth be told the honest reply would have been that the compliment isn't about the sunglasses and that I didn't compliment her because she is morbidly obese. Lose weight, bitch, lol.
I found it hard to implement the "skeptical" mindset and communicating it. I'm not even talking to the chicks beyond the compliment, how am I supposed to figure out whether they are cool, good in bed and so on?
I haven't done any additional drills since Monday. Had a friend visiting from out of town and was very busy.
Monday, I am starting a new summer job which I will do three weeks full-time. It is a job where you cold-approach strangers to convince them of to donate to charity. It is well payed for an unskilled job since I am doing it in Switzerland. But mainly, the job will be great for developing social skills and approach stamina, which is why I chose it.
The job will be stressful and what I have learned about myself in the past 1.5 years is that I don't do well with too much stress. This is why I will only focus on this job for the next three weeks, trying to keep myself in balance during it. In order to keep my stress low, I will not plan to do any AA drills in the next three weeks. If I discover that I have plenty of energy to go around I will, but I doubt it. This is a bummer to me, I originally planned to finish the AA program before this job. But that's the way it is.
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