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Day 3: Relaunched my tinder profile that I used like four months ago. I made it with Rooster's guide. Check the link to see the pics. Would highly appreciate your feedback.
(I think you can only see the pics. As the text I used the example in Rooster's Guide)
Some specific questions:
- where would you rank this profile on Chris' boyfriend material/boyfriend potential/scumbag scale? My guess is I'm way too far on the "nice guy/boyfriend material" side. What are the aspects in my pics that emphasize this point? How could I switch it up?
- thoughts on the topless pic? Female friends mostly tell me its a minus but I don't believe them, have seen swiping behavior that tells differently. Is the workout pic below better?
- first pic I want to show my face. Do you think the frontal angle fits me well or should I try it from the side?
It is not the worst profile, it got me a fuckbuddy. Nonetheless I think it got me very few matches. I'm taking that opinion from talking to a friend who also uses Tinder. I created the profile by using photofeeler and retrospectively it is already a lot better than profiles I previously had that got me nowhere.
Before relaunching the profile today I read this guide (Chris recommended it somwhere on GLL, can't remember where):
Also discovered the guide by Killyourinnerloser yesterday but haven't had the time to read it, as it is fucking long. I'll use it to gradually improve my Tinder profile over the next months.
Also installed Bumble today and I'll try it out. A female friends of mine recommended it to me. I kind of fear that its mostly chicks looking for relationships. I would be interested in hearing your guys experiences with Bumble. Also, because Bumble does not accept shirtless mirror pics, I uploaded a workout pic, see attached
You might want to also post your log and questions on the KillYourInnerLoser forums, that's what other guys have been doing and you will likely get more responses.
Get tendinosis handled and back to lifting
Get a 6 pack/ down to 8% body fat by September 1, 2021
Be consistent with Penis Enlargement & Foreskin Restoration - get a 7x6 inch dick and full soft coverage
Get a fuckbuddy or girlfriend by September 1, 2021
Started crossposting on Killyourinnerloser because it seems more active.
First day of drills. Did them this afternoon. Was supposed to ask 5 chicks for the time and leave, age irrelevant.
In the end, I did 13 approaches. Not because I was hyper motivated, but because I wanted to do five that felt proper. For the five proper ones I only counted single girls without masks in my age range. The other 8 approaches were either above 30, wearing a mask, or they were groups of chicks.
It took me two or more hours. I'm new in town and I think I picked some bad spots. Started right in front of my house and approached a girl within three minutes. But otherwise the street was pretty dead since it is a shopping street in a district that is more of a small town itself but only like 20k people. Plus there is a duty to wear masks in the main street. I blatantly ignore it, but I feel like its pointless to talk to chicks wearing masks. What's your thoughts on that? So after I went to parks nearer to the city center and near the large river (Rhine). But the spots were fairly empty. Tomorrow I'll try near the uni.
I skipped a few girls, more than I would like to admit. My mind kept making up stupid excuses. I started to deliberately work against them though. Approached a girl with large headphones. Approached a girl that was on a bike line waiting for the light to turn green. Stopped a girl that was running. Once I took some pics of the nature in the park and spotted a group of chicks my age. First I didn't approach them because I thought that they probably saw me taking the pics. Why the fuck would I ask for the time if I had a phone? It pissed me of though that I gave way to that excuse. After a few minutes I luckily crossed them again and just went for it. It's fucking irrelevant if they saw my phone. Then they will think I'm weird. So what. That's kind of the point in the AA program to desensitize yourself against that feeling.
More importantly though, I realized that I do not need an external reason or occasion to talk to chicks. I can do it simply because I want to. Another reflection that hit me deep was when I was walking past a flock of sheep (kid you not, there were actually sheep grazing along the river in this big ass city). I realized that this is kinda the perspective I could take on chicks in general. Just clueless, harmless sheep. Almost NPCs. I can do pretty much what I want to do in terms of approaches, I can be the wolf. That's what I want to become through the AA program.
I was surprised how much effort the approaches took. I was pretty tense most of the time and whenever I talked to a girl I had slight fight or flight symptoms, like tunnel vision and an adrenaline rush. I guess it does make a difference to otherwise asking for the time because I subconsciously realize that I am not asking them for the time but really I'm doing this because I want to talk to them. Even though I leave afterwards as part of the drill.
The reactions were mixed. Mostly neutral, some positive, some weirded out. One chick guessed the time but didn't take out the phone. One chick told me she's sorry she can't tell me the time. It was kind of a weird corner where I asked her and I didn't smile and I was wearing dark clothes. Maybe she was afraid I'd snatch her phone. Crime in this city is pretty bad. One chick was driving on her bike with headphones in and acted like she didn't notice me (that would be number 14 actually). I think the chicks that were weirded out were mostly weirded out because there were a lot of people around that I could have asked instead so they maybe thought this was some dumb indirect approach. Or they wondered whether I had no phone. I don't know, I don't really care.
One main takeaway I had is that my eyesight fucking sucks. Used to be really good before I started university 4.5 years ago. Now I can't tell from 30m/100feet whether a chick is 20 or 40. I'll try to work on doing some eye exercises in the next weeks. Might also do some approaches with my glasses.
There was actually a super funny occurrence. While wandering through parks I came by the botanical garden. I then remembered that in the same spot I was in the summer of 2016 with a very close friend of mine. We were doing a hitchhiking/couchsurfing trip through Germany and Cologne was our first stop. Was a crazy and adventurous couple of days in Cologne (story for another time). That friend and I had mostly bonded over one thing we had in common: We hadn't gotten laid ever. During that hitchhiking vacation we were trying to cold approach chicks in that same botanical garden. We were fucking terrified. I think during the entire vacation my friend made one or two legit approaches and one joke one, I made none. What hit me today was that pretty much nothing has changed regarding our ability to cold approach. I have had the specific desire to be able to do this for at least 4.5 years now. I am nowhere. That's crazy. One more reason to go through with the AA program at any price.
I asked an old dude to take a pic of me in front of a nice tree. There were no chicks around to ask. Can you guys feedback on my outfit? Be relentless.
Today I had my second day of drills but simultaneously my first day of my internship. I got off work at 5:30pm, bought groceries and had dinner and it was already 7pm. There is a Corona curfew in my city at 9pm (fcking authoritarian). For a moment I considered not doing the drills today because it takes me like 45 minutes to get into town and the same time to get back so I basically only had like 30 minutes.
I decided to do it anyway. However, I didn't take the luxury as yesterday to only count chicks that are on their own and not wearing masks and close to my age. Although almost all were my age range, many of them were wearing masks or were in groups.
Today I was supposed to ask 5 chicks for the time and leave. Then wait a bit. Then ask 5 more for the time and leave, but do it faster this time.
My first set was 7:05, 7:05, 7:07, 7:08, 7:42. Large gap was because I was taking the train into the city. Got lucky and met four chicks right in the small district I live in.
Then I took a short break. The second set was 8:00, 8:02, 8:04, 8:10, 8:10. Honestly, I got lucky that the trainride was within the other set. Otherwise I would have had a really hard time beating it, even in the crowded part of the city.
I wasn't super happy though with my overall performance, I felt like I had a somewhat shy tone when asking for the time. So I did a third set between 8:15 and 8:30. Got home like 20min after the curfew, fortunately didn't get caught.
The reactions were mixed, just as yesterday. Sometimes I wonder whether I look really intimidating or how bad the experiences of some of the chicks must have been with guys rudely hitting on them. One took a step back when I asked them even though she was with a friend and gave me like a disparaging look. Less than two minutes beforehand, I had asked a group of four chicks for the time and they happily told me and after I said thanks they said "40 more minutes" in like a friendly, jokish way, referring to the curfew at 9pm. They were vibing with me. I didn't change anything in between those two approaches. The chicks were just in an entirely different mindset. Crazy. It was also funny, one pair of chicks I approched they were quite a bit younger than me and I think they were flattered/nervous, the girl had to take like three attempts at pronouncing the time correctly. We are not the only ones that are shy, fellow AA-brothers.
I was super pressed for time and rushed through the drills today. Hilariously, it made it a bit easier. I was pushed by the fear of not being able to finish the drills today.
Tomorrow I'll try to start my work earlier and get off earlier so I have more time and can do the drills in a more relaxed fashion.
Got into town slightly earlier today. Started there at like 7:15pm in town. Finished the drills at roughly 8. Today I had to do 5 repetitions of the following: Ask for time, leave. Ask for time and nearby place, leave. Ask for time, nearby place and whether she has been there and leave.
I did the 15 approaches and also 2 more because I started one triplet at the second task so I thought fuck it lets just do some more. I once again also counted approaches of groups and with masks, even though hardly any had masks on since it was a park. I found a pretty neat spot that I used today. It is super intensely frequented. Lots of girls in their 20s walking alone or in small groups. Hardly any masks. Usually no hurry of them to get somewhere. Awesome spot.
The reactions were much better today than in the last two days. I think it maybe was because I was wearing lighter clothes (blue jeans, white sweater, light brown leather button-down shirt instead of grey jeans, black sweater, darker brown rough leather jacket). Maybe I also smiled more and took a lighter voice tone, but I'm not sure about the latter. Maybe my mood was better. Maybe the girls mood was better due to slightly better weather. Idk. It's really hard to disentangle. And it also really doesn't matter for right now. Most important thing is getting in that approach experience.
I felt like the girls were super happy that they could help me. Seems to give one more of a good feeling to help with directions than just time.
Doing longer approaches felt much better to me as well. I had some time to become observant about myself and the girl (or group of). I was able to calm down inside, lose the initial rush. In some cases even, the girls pulled up Google Maps to find me the directions. Then I had a lot of time to properly reflect and also take a closer look at them. Some of them were really fucking hot.
As for my performance, I was really happy. Hardly skipped any girls. I even was smooth in pretty much all the conversations.
In today's Audio, Chris discusses that when you do things quickly, girls do not have the time to think of why you are approaching them. I think that's pretty accurate. Sometimes when a chick can see it coming that you are about to talk to her, she will react differently. Take the situation where you change your path for like five meters so you can talk to her when she is coming towards you. The reaction that I got in that situation was multiple times that the girls thought I was gonna hit on them (I could tell from the facial expression and body language), which made them insecure. That was before I was able to say the first word. One of them even made a gesture of like "not interested" before I reached her. She was wearing fishnets though even though it was windy and fucking cold, so I think she might be getting hit on for her outfits a lot. Such a quick and straightforward reaction is an exception I think. It wasn't even rude though. What Chris said, that chicks will hardly ever strongly and rudely reject you, has been true so far.
Generally, I think its hilarious that if a guy walks up to a chick then the standard reaction of chicks is to assume that he is going to hit on them. The world really does evolve around sex.
Took a break yesterday because I was exhausted (work, sleep deprivation...).
Today it was raining but I still did the drills. Was the same as yesterday except that I had to talk to the first chick I saw. "Get in there!"
I managed to do all the approaches even though there were far less girls outside due to the weather.
I really like the notion of "social momentum" that Chris uses. I can totally relate to it. Today was generally not a good mood for me, I was still fairly tired. Listening to the audio hyped me and starting the approaches pushed me even more. But wandering around in the shitty weather with hardly any people out pushed the mood back down. Finished nonetheless.
The "get in there!" mindset is nice. Throughout the past few days I have been approaching girls in more and more situations, I am accepting less and less excuses and approaching them in less comfortable circumstances. I can now start to grasp the drive that I have seen in some of the videos of Chris and Scotty. In one of them they literally chase after girls and run up to them from behind and grab their arm. It always blew my mind where they took the balls from to do that. Even though I am nowhere near doing that, I can now imagine doing it and how it feels. Looking forward to doing crazy shit like that! Week 1/7, feels nice!
I was tired today and also felt unusually anxious before starting the drills, even after listening to Chris' audio. I went out and did them anyways. I finished them super quick and with ease. It was basically the same drill I did for the past few days. Back then I sometimes already asked whether they liked it when they slightly hesitated to answer whether they had been there. I essentially did it to rationalize the question whether they had been there because some chicks seemed to find it odd. Today, whenever I did the third part of each set, I purposely did not. And no huge awkward silences or bad things occurred. They always came up with some answer. This made me more courageous to try out less smooth things. I always try to seem smooth, I think it is also because when I am not and I ask random questions, it makes me feel stupid, which I hate. But now I realize that it does not fucking matter what the chicks think and whether they think I am weird or not. I simply care less. It is also true though that it hardly affects the interactions. The non-smooth ones turned out as "good" (in terms of reactions) as the others. In reality, nobody gives a fuck if the person across from them is perfect, because nobody really expects it.
If the fourth part of the set seemed not possible because the girl had not been to the place, Chris proposed two options: Either talk to other girls until you find one that has been to that place. Or ask them anyways. He says the latter is for the ballsier guys, because the question makes no sense then. I got through all sets without a girl or a group of girls never having been to the place I asked for. But I wanted that situation to confront my fears so I talked to more girls and I found some that said they hadn't been there and I still asked whether they liked it. Nothing terrible happened. They simply repeated in a friendly fashion that they hadn't been there. My takeaway is that I can really stop being socially adapted to a large degree. You can pull of so much "weird" shit and nothing serious happens. This program is fucking liberating.
I also recognized some interesting parallels between having approach anxiety and doing things while being high on magic mushrooms. This is probably only relatable for guys that have done LSD or shrooms (don't do them carelessly, they are not a fucking party drug!). So when you are on shrooms, everything is way more intense, you feel your emotions more strongly and your consciousness is bombarded with information. I once tried doing pushups when I was on shrooms. It was fucking impossible. Every time I got to like five or six reps, I had to stop because my mind came up with some random bullshit that distracted me or wanted to make me believe that I couldn't continue. This experience on shrooms is just a more intense version of what we experience every day. Whenever something is exhausting or uncomfortable, our mind will make up excuses and distract our consciousness from doing it. With AA, your mind always makes up reasons to not approach chicks. Your consciousness doesn't like behavioral change and will oppose your attempts to change yourself. During the shroom trip I firmly resolved to do 15 pushups. That's nothing for me under normal circumstances. But I won't lie if I say that it took my entire willpower to do it. Fighting your lazy consciousness is fucking hard, but the AA program makes it easier. You can fight the lazy, change-opposing part of your mind in relatively "easy", small steps.
Today I was pretty afraid of the drills. Yesterday I did what Chris called the ballsier version one time, where you ask a question that makes no sense. That was basically what all drills today were about. I already thought that asking chicks you have never met whether they had eaten at a specific restaurant was kinda random. But then the third part of each set was to ask them whether they liked it, irrespective of whether they had been there or not.
I did the drills. I was pretty scared but mostly before the conversations and not during them. I purposely picked a place that is not super well known. None of the girls had been there, hardly any had heard of it. After doing the five sets I wanted to ask the nonsensical question more times because I was pissed of how much it scared me. So I did just that part of the drills more times after, another eleven times. It did not become easy and my fear didn't disappear. No surprise there, I know it is a longer process to overcome fears. But now I at least once again showed myself that I have the balls to do shit that repeatedly scares me and get the exposure I need.
Reactions were just as Chris said, most chicks just repeat that they haven't been there. Some look confused. There was one shy asian chick that didn't know how to respond. Two times a girl in a group of chicks thought I wanted to sell them something and was like "not interested". Two times the chicks cracked up because it was such a hilariously senseless conversation. I had a hard time going into conversations at the end without a big fucking smile.
Honestly, this is already stuff that I would have seriously struggled with doing on day one. Having established a routine over the past few days and embedding the difficult parts after "get in there" and "just ask for the time" makes this stuff so much easier. Really appreciate this program.
Yesterday I chickened out. I told myself I needed a break for a day. I think it was mostly an excuse though. I at least went to the lake nearby and met some new people, so I was socializing in my new city.
Got back on track today though. I had already read the instructions yesterday and the anxiety had built up quite far.
The task was simple: Time? Where is the nearest movie theater? Have you seen any good movies recently?
Well fun fact, movie theaters have been closed for over six months now over here in Germany.
Did it anyways. Once I got through two sets, it once again became easy. Most girls told me that the movies were closed. I was either like "oh I thought they reopened" or "oh, still?" and "I guess I'll stream a movie" and then moved on to the next question. Reactions were even nicer than in the past few days, especially when asked about movie recommendations. Apparently people like talking about movies (I think many chicks are currently spending most of their evenings watching Netflix alone, so this is basically their frame of reference for a fun and relaxing thing to do). I didn't think that I could transform this drill into actually being a practice for seeking rapport given the circumstance of closed movie theaters. I thought it would just be a repetition of day 9, just basically seeming stupid by asking weird questions. But it worked out to be a rapport practice in the end.
Today I switched up two things:
- When approaching girls that were walking in the opposite direction that I did, I approached them frontal. So far I had mostly been walking besides them. Oftentimes this led to girls stopping late or slowly keeping walking while telling me the time. That way they already almost were past me once I got to the other questions.
- I walked slowly. So far I had always been pretty nervous which led me to walk unnaturally fast. That probably made me look like I was in a haste. Today I was just strolling in a relaxed fashion. This also translated to a bit more inner calmness and also coolness to the outside.
Funniest approach: I walked the same route for almost all my days so far through some parks in the inner city. Today I asked a chick for the time and she started grinning, shook her head and walked by with her friend. I turned around, slightly confused, slowly realizing what happened. I had already approached her in the past few days. I was like "ah did I..:". Then she asked: "are you a pickup artist?" I was like: "no I'm just trying to get rid of my social anxiety" Her: "you're doing great, keep going!". Haha that was hilarious. From the beginning of the interaction, it was not hostile from her side, her grinning was genuine (hard to describe). I had been afraid of this happening, me approaching the same girls multiple times. Well now it did happen and nothing really happened. Nice.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.