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Day 4. Didn't do my job today. Bumble girl said things were moving too fast. I don't understand what that means; if I like someone I'm gonna make a move. I got more upset about it than I should have. That's the scarcity mentality talking. That mentality is exactly why I'm doing this; to break it.
Didn't do my approaches. Lifted with my homies to feel better. I shouldn't have put this off and made the excuse. Tomorrow.
Completed approaches today. Took me a long time. At least an hour. I'm kind of ashamed of that. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me. Trying to remember you have to start slow at first.
The girls were mostly nice. One was really polite. I feel autistic doing this drills. I know everyone just sees a guy walking somewhere but I feel so self-conscious. I don't normally feel this way out in public, but I think today's objective made me focus too much inwardly. I switched locations a few times because I felt so self-conscious. I'm pretty ashamed of this but I'm going to do better next time.
I just have this imposter syndrome issue that I need to fix. It's stupid and outdated. It doesn't reflect who I am anymore. That's why I'm doing these drills.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.