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Day 8 drill (April)
Missed 2 opportunities, I was mad at myself but then I saw a group of 3 girls walking towards me. I asked them for the time, directions, have you been there, did you like it. This one girl was my age hot AF (9.5/10). The last 2 questions were kinda akward but also funny. I didn't feel nervous after I asked for directions. After the interaction I went out smiling. I felt the most accomplished and euphoric from this situation.
Since this drill I've stopped going out that much. The next 2 days I walked for 30 mins and didn't meet a single girl that's not 14 or 40. For the past 3 months I've done basically nothing, I tried doing drills some days but I missed opportunities/just asked for the time etc. Also walking for 20 minutes untill I try a drill builds up my anxiety.
Today, I walked for 30 mins and didn't meet any girls so I told myself this day was a waste. At the end of my walk I saw 2 girls sort of my way at an akward spot. I should've done day 9 but I chickened out for some fucking reason.
I will try to do the hardest drill from each day once and then move to the next day since the volume is non existent. I am not quitting this program and if I can't do it because I am too scared I will do the program normally once I get to college in 2.5 months. I will live in a city with 300K population. I was there twice and saw some sick girls. If I can get to a mall there, I could have many opportunities to do the drills.
I will probably go out tomorrow and actually try not to miss another opportunity, makes me feel like shit.
Missed 1 opportunity where a nice girl was walking towards me. Next day I met one girl who I noticed was 15 when I asked for the time so I just left.
Today after walking for 20 minutes I found 2 girls sitting on the bench. They looked like some edgy girls, they were smoking cigarets. I don't like these types of girls so I was kinda nervous. I asked them for the time, restaurant, if they liked it. It was and unconfortable and weird situation. My speech was shit, I had dry mouth and I think they said something and laughed after I had left lmao. I will definitely redo this a few times untill I feel confortable.
I moved to a bigger city for college. Many more girls there. Did day 8 and 9 in the last week. Didn't do the whole day, just the last/hardest part.
I was new and didn't know anyone so I went to our door meetup and talked to a group of girls, the conversation was shit so I left. I went to buy alcohol and met a cute girl ony the way so I started talking to her and told her to come to the meetup too. I did it sober, but at the night so it was easier. While I was waiting for her I started drinking and talked to a group of 4 girls, it went ok but I left after the girl came. We talked for 30 minutes and then we went to meet 2 guys and her sister came too. I got her #, not sure if I'll ask her out cause after that day I didn't find her that attractive.
Also approached 2 groups at a club but it was shit and 1 girl turned around while I was talking to her lmao.
I will probably do a few more days and then start approaching.
Was at college for 4 days. I only asked a girl for the time, candels and told her I'm planning a romantic dinner for my GF and that I am the sweetest guy ever. I have a problem where I travel to the biggest mall in the city, I walk around the whole mall 2 times and then I go back. This takes me maybe 25 minutes if I walk slowly and I don't meet that many girls and also bitch out on some. Then I go back so I don't circle the mall 20 times each day. I want to fix this since 25 minutes 2x a week obviously isn't enough. I will therefore find another high volume locations. I should also probably do more circles and maybe stop in some shops and look at the clothes so I can talk to the girls in these shops too.
Apart from my shitty AA drills progress. I am more comfortable at talking with people and girls. I've met many new people in college and I am no longer a complete loner. My goal is to do the drills untill they get close to approach difficulity and then start approaching. I wanna smash some nice girl by the end of this year.
Edit: some of the drills were pretty funny. I asked some girl for directions to the toilets and if she liked it and she just started laughing and said they were great and gave me thumbs up. The next day I asked some girl what phone she had and if she liked it and it was weird but she was nice, smiling and I didn't feel akward at all, just amused. It's like trolling people and seeing their reactions.
I went out 3 times to do this high five drill. Didn't high five a single girl. My friend killed my mood for the day by reminding me I still haven't banged a girl even tho I am at college so I felt pretty shit today. Walked for 2 hours and I just asked 2 girls for the time. Now I feel almost depressed. I am tempted to hype myself up and approach a girl sitting on a bench. I think I could probably do that.
Just keep plowing through; every time you feel stuck, just grind through. Do 1 rep a day for 20 days if you have to. There is no time limit for finishing the AA program, just try not to skip days. Do whatever it takes man.
Throughout the years I've seen lots of guys start AA journals then disappear. I know it's also discouraging to not get feedback as it's not as populated on this forum anymore. There's another guy on here doing the AA program, I recommend you all keep each other motivated. When I did it, there were like 6 or 7 of us doing it at the same time.
Also, try not to think about where you are now, or what you haven't done. Ditch that friend of yours if he does stuff like that frequently to you.
Yeah, with college you have to do compromises. My plan is to do the drills on friday, saturday and sunday and use the rest of the week as restdays. Also the high-five drill seems a bit to much out of my comfort zone too, maybe there is like an in between step to think about...
Met this girl 5 months ago, she's my friends GF. She was super friendly from the beginning and wrote/called me almost every day. She told me she'd fuck me if I were single which made me happy cus she's super cute, she wrote about sex and personal stuff. She is mentally unstable tho and is very mean sometimes, she started telling me I haven't slept with a girl yet every convo we had. I told her to stop and that it pisses me off. Then she got mad at me bc of some BS reason (I have done literally nothing wrong, she does this to her BF too). Stopped texting me and sent me some angry af voice messages, so I told her I am sorry after 4 days and she hasn't responded, so I guess we aren't friends anymore. It's a shame cus I liked this girl when she was normal and was hoping to bang her after some time if she broke up with my friend.
No progress in the AA program, can't do the high five drills for some fucking reason. I think it's bc I am very inconsistent so I have no social momentum.
Was at a party, won beer pong, enjoyed it but didn't flirt with a single girl. I talked to one but haven't made any moves. Felt like shit afterwards. Since college I started drinking and eating shit food. I work out and my body looks almost the same, but have no lifting goals and no diet which makes me depressed in combination with my non existent sex life.
Now I am home alone, hopefully gonna play PC games W friends and get drunk.
Sorry for ranting if you actually read this, I wanted to get this shit off my chest.
Just to clarify, I acted completely asexual the whole time I was friends w her and debated banging her if she broke up w my friend (6 months or some time after the breakup). I don't know how wrong this is but I wasn't set on doing it.
I don't even know why I wrote that, probably gonna delete later. This log is supposed to be about my AA progress and I am writing pointless shit.
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