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1. No worries there Roger, I am extremely eager to begin a dating profile. That's not even a setback of mine, I've been obsessing with building the 'perfect' profile lately. Now I know my profile will never be perfect or appeal to everyone, but I want to make sure every last detail is flawless.
-6 glorious photos.
-Beautifully crafted bio.
Plus....I need to see a dentist before I even dream of going on a date. The tooth next to my two front teeth is broken.
I've made far too many garbage profiles and then beat myself up saying "why don't I get any matches? Online dating doesn't work!"
Time to change that.
Within this next week, I should have 5 stunning photos. Just waiting on some awesome clothes to be shipped to me, need to look fashionable.
The last photo will be the hardest, because I have it planned for Christmas day. Going to go down town on Christmas morning and set up my tripod to try to take an amazing shot.
I figure there won't be a single person walking around this small town on Christmas morning at 7:30am. I'll be able to pull off a very unique picture.
2. I'm not going to ask out the tanning salon employees because they are both married women. I'm strictly against married women.
3. I like your suggestion of going out to the larger city. I've rarely left this small town since coming out here. I'll consider making a trip to explore and seek people there, though honestly a dating profile would be the absolute quickest way to kill social anxiety with pretty girls.....granted that I get dates with pretty girls.
This town doesn't really have a bunch of restaurants or clothing stores. It feels pretty old timey here. Old cafes are the only "highlight" this town has. Not sure if hotties want to wake up for the early bird breakfast special.
Like honestly.....my social anxiety really doesn't seem too crippling when I'm talking one on one with someone, even if they are smoking hot. I mean that in the context of a date though, where it's casual and anxiety is expected for both people. I'm not super comfortable with chatting up random hotties quite yet.
And you can do more than one thing at once obviously. But I want you to declare, in bold, what your second 10 day challenge is. I want to make sure you claim ownership and responsibility for it and I don't doubt you'll achieve it.
5 stunning photos in a week is definitely a legit goal.
But even if you choose that as the goal (you still have two days to mull things over), I want to hear when you're getting your tooth fixed. If it's really going to stop you from going on dates, let's get that handled ASAP.
I thought about this and decided a personal goal of mine should be to begin intentionally pausing.
There's this cool thing in psychology where you can make people say all kinds of random stuff, just by being silent for long periods of time.
People feel like they have to say something if they feel you are pausing for too long, as if they are the ones who are being weird by not talking. It's a powerful technique I've never had a chance to use, until now.
I think going forward, I'm just going to really slow down in convos. I'm going to state things, and then watch people react to my silence. I myself am going to feel uncomfortable doing this. I know for a fact this works because I've experienced it, silence is spooky in convos.
I'm not going to adhere to some quota, I hate quotas and this town just isn't very lively. I'm just going to mess with people going forward.
I'm also still going to make it a point to strike convos up when I can. I think I'll also start intentionally avoiding self-checkout at the grocery store. I'll have to wait in long lines, but then I'll get to be social for a bit with the cashier. Possibly even others in line.
I'm also going to get serious about getting shredded. I've always wanted to get shredded. I've always only bulked for 16 months, now I'm ready to chisel this statue.
My tooth issue is a little more complex. Short answer; I'll probably have my tooth repaired within a month. I'll also be doing teeth whitening for probably 3 days or so, prior to the tooth being fixed. It's always good to get them whitened every 12 months.
Longer answer: I have x amount of funds. I recently applied for healthcare/dental care and am waiting for results. I need to switch banks prior to blowing my money on dental work, because once my funds get too low the bank will start to charge me fees. The bank I'm switching to doesn't charge people for minimum balances kept.
I need to wait for all of my pending charges to stop pending prior to changing banks.
I need to get approved for health/dental prior to changing banks. (State healthcare, they monitor your finances).
I also know I have to wait anyway, because the final amazing photo for my profile will be taken on Christmas day.
So yeah....hurry up and wait....story of my life.
Bonus question: Roger, won't it be kind of odd if all of the photos I take show me being tan....and one day I'm not tan anymore. Like, I'm going to look sickly in comparison to what I look like now. Not that pale is a sickly thing, but my photos make me look so active/healthy.
I wonder if that means I have to tan for the rest of my (hopefully existent) sex life.
Intentionally pausing is a good way to level up the convos. I remember GettingItAll mentioning that a few times when he was working on his social skills. And from teaching I can say that yeah if you want to a count of 100 they're going to say something.
It's fine to hate quotas but I'm going to push you to keep progressing. I'd challenge you to try pausing in convos at least once by December 15th.
For sure, try to improve on all fronts as much as you can over the course of this month, but if you can try pausing in convo at least once by December 15th, that'd be great.
About the whole tanning thing, you could always spray tan. As long as you don't spray on the face (or inhale) there's no evidence there's cancer risk from spray tanning.
Also it makes sense to level up your photos from time to time. I doubt you're going to look crazy pale in a month. And it wouldn't be crazy for people to go from tan in the summer and paler in the winter. I say it's fine.
I'll definitely try to pause for at least one convo. Originally I wanted to do it for all people but that's simply not practical.
Fyi, I have another month of tanning ahead of me because of some crooked policy the salon has. Whatever.
I did manage to say things pretty smoothly at the tanning salon today. I spoke to the girl really effortlessly. Didn't stammer or say anything off the wall.
Upon leaving, I made very strong eye contact with her and didn't break while saying "You have a nice day". Normally my eye contact is pathetic. Most of my life, I'd only briefly glance at someone's eyes. A fraction of a second usually.
This was different though. Just by holding solid eye contact and speaking with a sincere inflection, her tone changed. She was no longer just saying have a nice day....she was saying it genuinely.
It feels like all of my neurons are exploding with info. I've learned SO much about social interaction in this last week.
I don't know about spray tanning, seems like a lot of work for something that washes off.
Women like a guy that's tall, dark and handsome right? Well I'm not going to look as good pale. I don't want them to feel like I catfished them in anyway.
The one time I met with a girl online and we went to her place(for sex), she looked nothing like her pics. Her pics made her look like she was half black and half white. She showed up and was about as black as you can be. (Not that race is a big deal, but she skin-fished me.)
We didn't have actual sex because I couldn't get hard. She wasn't sexually attractive.
This is the most "leveling up" of photos I've ever done. I used to be a very infrequent photographer.....used to take a "nice" photo every few months. "Nice" back then was garbage. I sucked at photography back then.
It's funny....I've always wanted a hobby my entire life. Now that I'm obsessed with getting laid, my photography skills are improving considerably.
-Update on goal: Need 6 stunning photos. I now have 3 of them. Next three will depend on weather conditions. (About to rain a ton).
I spray tan during the warmer months and it’s not a huge amount of work.
The biggest part is just getting the right level and tone. If you do end up going down that route try a few different options out (they should be able to explain them to you and maybe even match one up that might look good)
You can ask them about the optimal time to shower after getting sprayed as well. Usually you want to be freshly showered right before you go in and then rinse 8-12 hours after. It varies based on the system though.
Mine only lasts about a week using light non exfoliating body washes but ymmv
After doing regular tanning forever I’d say it’s well worth trying. I’ve only ever had negative feedback once under very very harsh bright white flourescent light. You get used to “troubleshooting” your tan too because sometimes you might get white spots in the folds of your knuckles etc but once you recognize those things you can keep them from happening again
Also if it’s cold at all where you’re at you’re naturally going to be paler even with UV tanning. At least where I’m from where very few people tan the folks who go for the very dark Sicilian tone tans in the winter stick out A LOT.
Glad to hear your convos are improving! Eye contact can be intimidating but it’s such a huge thing. Slowing down and making an effort to listen to the other person intently is very powerful too.
Interesting info on spray tanning. Living in Oregon though, I'd probably be safe to just go pale and see what happens. It's overcast skies/rainy here most months, other than summer.
Thanks Jake. Indeed my social skills are getting better now. I'm too the point where launching into conversation isn't terribly hard.
Like today for example. Other than the good interaction I had with the tanning girl this morning, I had a good interaction with the marijuana dispensary girl.
After the initial pleasantries, I'm able to randomly start a convo. I simply asked her if she had any fun plans. She then went into good detail how she was going to set up Christmas lights with her kids.
Pretty good interactions today. I even said hello to everyone I saw in passing. (One guy didn't say a word back, lol).
Hopefully by the time I'm ready for my first date I'll be social butterfly level.
My life truly would be forever changed if I could get laid in a few months time.
I'll definitely attempt to pause for someone.
Another great update: Woke up today and the sky was surprisingly sunny, as it was supposed to be rainy.
I was going to just call it a day because I hadn't planned on taking photos today.
Then I kicked myself. This was the perfect day for taking an edgy photo downtown near an old unique building.
Even though I REALLY didn't want to get dressed up for a photoshoot on a 28° chilly day, I made myself do it. I set out this morning at 8 am and took like 200 photos....attempting to look edgy. I even had an audience.
The old me would have been too embarrassed to keep shooting because of onlookers, but this new me just kept striking poses while looking like a thug. All of this knowledge is so liberating, even when doing controversial stuff in public.
I haven't checked the photos yet, but I usually end up with at least one great pic after a photoshoot.
Also wow, the harsh reality of being bald is finally setting in.
I put two photos on photofeeler.
One photo makes me look very fun and attractive, yet I'm visibly bald so I get a rating of less than 6 on photofeeler.
The second photo is an edgy photo. I am straight up scowling. I look upset and not in a great way. But my head is covered with a beanie....so guess what? My attractive score hovers around 7 now. Even while scowling and covered up, I get a better rating than if I'm fun and bald.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.