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I'm in that exact same situation. One tip Andy (KillYourInnerLoser) told me to try was to set a limit on the amount of girls I'm allowed to skip in a row (e.g. 10). After those 10, you have to approach the next woman you see, no matter how old or how unsmooth it is, you just have to do it.
#1 Goal - Complete up to & Including Day 47 of AA Program by July 31st 2021
#2a Goal - Quit my job and go freelance by July 31st 2021
Ok so I've decided to do my own thing in regards to approaching, but I still want to keep posting here (also on another forum) in the hopes someone else can get value from it.
Today I asked for directions from about 15 girls. I set my timer for 2 hours and told myself for the next 2 hours I just do my best at this single task and don't leave until then.
It may seem easy to a lot of people, and in a way it is easy for me but:
I still skip plenty of sets (like 15+ in those 2 hours) with irrational excuses.
I don't feel at ease to the point where I can follow up and add extra conversation. I am not very present nor focused on talking to a pretty girl. My mind is focused on just bailing as soon as I get an answer.
I will continue to do this until I either stop doing the above, or it's considerably lower (like 70% improvement). I'm not too worried about being comfortable in this stage because who the fuck wants to keep asking directions lol?
Then I will move to asking directions and after response, give a compliment / ask a questions about her / anything else that's not about the directions.
I used to have a journal on rsd forums back in the day. Man I wish I had kept it on my computer. I probably wrote so much insights that would be helpful now.
What is it with breakups and turning on a switch in your head? I just broke up with my gf of 4 years. My advice, anyone who is in a relationship and they are not 100% certain about it, GTFO and live authentically to yourself. Subconsciously it is affecting everything you do. You can't be in an inauthentic relationship, and then go and live the rest of your life authentically. That sickness will seep into everything you do, and you'll pound your head trying to figure out what is wrong.
1/12: Today I went out and asked 20 girls for directions, from 3pm to 6pm.
I skipped a lot of sets and I'll try something different next time. Currently, when I see a girl and I freeze up and we walk past each other, or I walk by her from behind and and freeze up and continue on walking past, I tell myself "I skipped this one, damn. On to the next one". Instead, I can tell myself "only you know you intended to approach but didn't, no one else. So it's like you get a second chance."
In terms of comfortability, I'm still focused on getting out asap, even with very friendly responses. I asked these 2 girls where Urban Outfitters was and they both stopped. One girl said "That's a good question, I don't know but I love your outfit" and all I could say was "thanks" while walking away.
Another girl had a really cool outfit on and stopped then thought about my question, then took her phone out and searched it for me. Then told me where it was and giggled. The entire time I was thinking I could comment on her outfit but I couldn't muster up the words.
In terms of persistence I applaud myself cause I stayed out till my feet hurt. I will do this a few more days and see if my skipped sets and comfortability improve or not and adjust my gameplan from there.
Today I approached around 10 girls asking for directions, and mostly just concentrating on how I feel when I do it. My last approach, I was thinking of adding the line "Hey excuse me. Can I ask you something? ok but you gotta be honest. Do you think these shoes make me look gay?" after asking for directions, but somehow when I saw the next girl I just went for it without the directions, and I switched it up a bit. I was wearing a mostly brown / cream outfit and said
"Hey excuse me. Can I ask you something?" (girl takes off headphones) ok but you gotta be h-h-honest. (I actually stuttered lmao. It's been so long since I said something that wasn't a serious question but I don't think she caught that part cause the mask kind of muffles it). Do you think this outfit makes me look like a UPS driver? I just saw a truck drive by and was feeling self conscious (with a smile). The girl bust up laughing and said "nah you're cool ".
I felt a big surge of whatever you want to call it anxiety/excitement but it went away fast and I didn't approach anyone after that. However I was pretty proud of myself even if it was just 1. I think I will add it on to the end of my "directions" so it isn't as big of a jump. Then do some at the end with just the canned opener.
Today I was supposed to go snowboarding. I didn't sleep at all because of excitement but plans changed and I didnt end up going. I still went out even though I felt like doo doo! So props to me.
I approached around 10 girls asking for directions. In terms of just asking for directions, I noticed I have been able to go for the hotter girls now. So that's something. I still skipped a lot, and did not turn back around to open them like I planned.
In Between these sets, I used the opener from yesterday on 2 girls, except now I actually said the "does my shoes make me look gay".
Right when I said "Hey" to the first girl, she said "oh hey" as if she knew me. That threw me off, and after a bunch of awkwardness, I delivered the opener anyways, then some more awkwardness ensued and I left.
The 2nd girl I opened with this, kind of walked past me a bit more then turned and stopped for a second. I delivered my opener and she just said "no?" in a way where it was almost "bad".
Throughout the day I was reminding myself of what I have to offer and what I wanted a girl to have, from the exercise I did yesterday.
So overall, I didn't really stick to the plan I had made yesterday, but I guess there was some progress? Here's my bare minimum plan tomorrow:
Ask first girl for directions
Ask second girl for directions + "opener"
Deliver opener straight away on 3rd girl
Repeat 5x for a total of 15 girls. Turn back around for sets I "skip"!
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Kratom is next!
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