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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
Journey to Social Freedom
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TOPIC: Journey to Social Freedom

Journey to Social Freedom 25 Nov 2020 23:40 #332103

This is my journal! I've been out of the game for a long time and never properly handled "AA" and would always skip sets, take forever to approach etc.. I'm back now to deal with this once and for all.

Day 4 / 5: I kinda did both in one day. It took me a long time to try and do it faster because I would always wait to walk a little bit further from the person I previously asked and if other people saw me I didn't want them to see me do it again. I also asked for directions from 3 people and asked them if they have been there.

I think I will redo the 2nd part of previous day where I try to ask 5 people as quickly as possible. Then proceed to Day 6.

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Journey to Social Freedom 28 Nov 2020 05:53 #332143

So I didn't redo day 5 and tried to do day 6 yesterday.

I was only able to do 1 set of the exercises (took me over an hour) and today only got to "time" and "time + directions" which also took me over an hour, which is really nuts if you think about it. I also live in downtown NYC so there's always people around.

I'm always thinking about the people I asked seeing me so I make sure to walk a different direction, and I don't do it in middle of crowds etc etc. I basically make a lot of excuses.

I'm thinking of going back to day 5 and doing it as fast as possible.

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Last edit: by JamesPeterson.

Journey to Social Freedom 28 Nov 2020 06:42 #332149

It doesn't matter what other people think. Remember, you're just messing with them.
2020 Goals: A] 0/2 work projects completed; B] 8.4/9.0 photofeeler attractiveness; C] 200/180 lbs squat, 185/180 lbs bench, 300/200 lbs deadlift.

Master Log
2019 Goals: 1/1 CA lay; 5/5 online lays
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Journey to Social Freedom 01 Dec 2020 05:04 #332188

Tried to do day 5 again, but only did the 1st part. Also took around 1 hour. Was planning to do it again later in the night but it started raining and no one was out.

Will do the 2nd half, 5x time as fast as possible tomorrow.
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Journey to Social Freedom 01 Dec 2020 23:36 #332206

So i finished the 2nd part of day 5 in 30 minutes. It's not as fast as other people's on here but it was faster then I've ever done it.

I'm going to head out early tomorrow to complete day 6. I'll probably head to a more touristy area so it'll make it easier for me to ask for directions and follow up and ask if they have been there.

Btw is the missions supposed to be only with girls you are attracted to or any person (male or female)?
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Journey to Social Freedom 02 Dec 2020 05:48 #332208

Yes ideally only girls you're attracted to, but any girls will do.
Unless you're gay guys definitely don't count.
2020 Goals: A] 0/2 work projects completed; B] 8.4/9.0 photofeeler attractiveness; C] 200/180 lbs squat, 185/180 lbs bench, 300/200 lbs deadlift.

Master Log
2019 Goals: 1/1 CA lay; 5/5 online lays
The following user(s) said Thank You: JamesPeterson

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Journey to Social Freedom 07 Dec 2020 22:42 #332298

Man ive been feeling down in this area of my life.

Maybe its lack of sleep or w/e but I can seem to do day 6.

I noticed something peculiar. Even the first rep, asking for time is still hard. It's not the same anxiety as approaching a girl, hitting on her and putting your ego on the line, but it's an anxiety of just stopping a stranger and engaging with them. So whether its time, directions, opinion, a compliment, I have the same mental block.

I think I'm going to take a couple days and ask for just the time or just the directions as reps in my own challenge until I can ask any girl the time / directions without hesitation.

Does anyone think this is a good / bad idea? It does say in the AA program to repeat a step until its comfortable. I think if i could do this i would have a good baseline to move forward. It's becoming a really bad habit now of going out and coming back home without having done anything.
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Journey to Social Freedom 08 Dec 2020 21:37 #332311

Yeah breaking the drill down to easier bits sounds like a good idea if you're stuck.

About not being able to engage with strangers, are you saying if you were completely lost and your life depended on getting somewhere, you still wouldn't be able to ask for help?
2020 Goals: A] 0/2 work projects completed; B] 8.4/9.0 photofeeler attractiveness; C] 200/180 lbs squat, 185/180 lbs bench, 300/200 lbs deadlift.

Master Log
2019 Goals: 1/1 CA lay; 5/5 online lays
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Journey to Social Freedom 09 Dec 2020 00:31 #332317

RogerRoger wrote: Yeah breaking the drill down to easier bits sounds like a good idea if you're stuck.

About not being able to engage with strangers, are you saying if you were completely lost and your life depended on getting somewhere, you still wouldn't be able to ask for help?


I could and it wouldn't be hard. I think my mind accepts your example as legitimate reason, but reasons of messing around and working on my social skills are not as ok. I have noticed that as a big flaw and virtue in my personality. On one hand I am the most sensible and empathetic person out of everyone I know, but also the most censored. I care way too much about offending / disturbing people.

I also let a lot of girls walk by and in my mind pick "easier" ones to talk to. Not necessarily less attractive but maybe they are alone, or standing/sitting somewhere etc. And when I do go and ask I don't feel at ease in my body. So that is why I decided to work on this pain point instead of moving ahead with drills.

It took me around 2 1/2 hours today to engage with 10 people. I think I will keep doing this until I stop skipping girls and it's in a more reasonable time frame (30 minutes).
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Journey to Social Freedom 09 Dec 2020 19:55 #332324

Good job sticking with this. Progress isn't linear but for sure get under 30 minutes.

I'd also recommend checking out a book "When I say no, I feel guilty." It's pretty old but super relevant for you, all about assertiveness training. Uncensor the beast.
2020 Goals: A] 0/2 work projects completed; B] 8.4/9.0 photofeeler attractiveness; C] 200/180 lbs squat, 185/180 lbs bench, 300/200 lbs deadlift.

Master Log
2019 Goals: 1/1 CA lay; 5/5 online lays
The following user(s) said Thank You: JamesPeterson

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Journey to Social Freedom 10 Dec 2020 23:30 #332343

Ordered the book plus many more books.

Today I did the 10 reps of asking for directions in under an hour which is much less than it took me previously. Once I get it down under 30 minutes I'll move on to the next drill.

I have also started reading and applying CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and TRE (Trauma releasing exercises, not sure if TRE works but I've read in a another seduction forum that it has helped a lot with AA)

Inner game at its core is basically built upon CBT. Also this AA program and its basis of exposure therapy, is CBT. It's different reading someone say "Girls like to be approached" vs. writing down "When I see a girl, I hesitate to approach because think she will react badly" , pointing out the cognitive distortion (in this case future projection / mind reading), and listing evidence supporting / opposing this thought, then the behavior to correct it. For most of the things I write down, there is always mountains of credible, believable evidence opposing the thought and very little that actually supports it.

For example I always have the thought "I think people who see me approach will judge me" , but never in my entire game "career" from 3 years ago has anyone in the surroundings ever said anything bad to me. CBT will show you how your thoughts are really fabricated and not based in reality.

Btw if anyone is interested, the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns (a CBT book) is actually free to read online if you have Amazon prime.
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Last edit: by JamesPeterson.

Journey to Social Freedom 31 Dec 2020 00:55 #332579

Wish I had a better update, but I've been trying to do Day 6 but never getting completely through with it.

I either get stuck on asking time / directions separately, or not approaching at all and skipping tons of people, or I actually get 1 rep of time + directions done, but then start skipping again. By the time I look at my clock 3 hours have gone by and I wonder what have I been doing.

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Journey to Social Freedom
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