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This is my journal! I've been out of the game for a long time and never properly handled "AA" and would always skip sets, take forever to approach etc.. I'm back now to deal with this once and for all.
Day 4 / 5: I kinda did both in one day. It took me a long time to try and do it faster because I would always wait to walk a little bit further from the person I previously asked and if other people saw me I didn't want them to see me do it again. I also asked for directions from 3 people and asked them if they have been there.
I think I will redo the 2nd part of previous day where I try to ask 5 people as quickly as possible. Then proceed to Day 6.
So I didn't redo day 5 and tried to do day 6 yesterday.
I was only able to do 1 set of the exercises (took me over an hour) and today only got to "time" and "time + directions" which also took me over an hour, which is really nuts if you think about it. I also live in downtown NYC so there's always people around.
I'm always thinking about the people I asked seeing me so I make sure to walk a different direction, and I don't do it in middle of crowds etc etc. I basically make a lot of excuses.
I'm thinking of going back to day 5 and doing it as fast as possible.
Man ive been feeling down in this area of my life.
Maybe its lack of sleep or w/e but I can seem to do day 6.
I noticed something peculiar. Even the first rep, asking for time is still hard. It's not the same anxiety as approaching a girl, hitting on her and putting your ego on the line, but it's an anxiety of just stopping a stranger and engaging with them. So whether its time, directions, opinion, a compliment, I have the same mental block.
I think I'm going to take a couple days and ask for just the time or just the directions as reps in my own challenge until I can ask any girl the time / directions without hesitation.
Does anyone think this is a good / bad idea? It does say in the AA program to repeat a step until its comfortable. I think if i could do this i would have a good baseline to move forward. It's becoming a really bad habit now of going out and coming back home without having done anything.
RogerRoger wrote: Yeah breaking the drill down to easier bits sounds like a good idea if you're stuck.
About not being able to engage with strangers, are you saying if you were completely lost and your life depended on getting somewhere, you still wouldn't be able to ask for help?
I could and it wouldn't be hard. I think my mind accepts your example as legitimate reason, but reasons of messing around and working on my social skills are not as ok. I have noticed that as a big flaw and virtue in my personality. On one hand I am the most sensible and empathetic person out of everyone I know, but also the most censored. I care way too much about offending / disturbing people.
I also let a lot of girls walk by and in my mind pick "easier" ones to talk to. Not necessarily less attractive but maybe they are alone, or standing/sitting somewhere etc. And when I do go and ask I don't feel at ease in my body. So that is why I decided to work on this pain point instead of moving ahead with drills.
It took me around 2 1/2 hours today to engage with 10 people. I think I will keep doing this until I stop skipping girls and it's in a more reasonable time frame (30 minutes).
Today I did the 10 reps of asking for directions in under an hour which is much less than it took me previously. Once I get it down under 30 minutes I'll move on to the next drill.
I have also started reading and applying CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and TRE (Trauma releasing exercises, not sure if TRE works but I've read in a another seduction forum that it has helped a lot with AA)
Inner game at its core is basically built upon CBT. Also this AA program and its basis of exposure therapy, is CBT. It's different reading someone say "Girls like to be approached" vs. writing down "When I see a girl, I hesitate to approach because think she will react badly" , pointing out the cognitive distortion (in this case future projection / mind reading), and listing evidence supporting / opposing this thought, then the behavior to correct it. For most of the things I write down, there is always mountains of credible, believable evidence opposing the thought and very little that actually supports it.
For example I always have the thought "I think people who see me approach will judge me" , but never in my entire game "career" from 3 years ago has anyone in the surroundings ever said anything bad to me. CBT will show you how your thoughts are really fabricated and not based in reality.
Btw if anyone is interested, the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns (a CBT book) is actually free to read online if you have Amazon prime.
Wish I had a better update, but I've been trying to do Day 6 but never getting completely through with it.
I either get stuck on asking time / directions separately, or not approaching at all and skipping tons of people, or I actually get 1 rep of time + directions done, but then start skipping again. By the time I look at my clock 3 hours have gone by and I wonder what have I been doing.
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