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After hearing chris's prep talk on day 5 and reflecting back on my life. I felt pretty good though.
What I did today
- Approached 5 women , asked for the time said thank you and left (36 min)
- Approached 5 women and asked for the time said thank you and left (25 min)
- [bonus] because I was feeling great and also happened to see a cute girl , I also asked her for the time.
All women were friendly today.
the last 5 women including the bonus girl went by in around 10 min .
I failed the drill yesterday cause I failed to GET IN THERE with the first women I saw, and gave up cause I felt down (and because chris had told to go home if you can't GET IN THERE.
But holy shit Today was awesome!
What I did:
+Did the same thing as day 6.
But forced myself to get in there. The first girl I saw was talking to a guy and I walked upto her from the back and interrupted them "Excuse me , what's the time".
That just felt amazing I don't know why, I felt like a badass .
I approached a few more girls who were with guys, and I even interrupted a phone call , I also approached a girl who had headphones on.
It was the most exciting day so far.
I used to avoid approaching girls from the back, because everyone on the internet say's that's wrong . But today I realized that approaching a girl from the back is way better than not approaching at all, since you are at least taking the opportunity.
Successfully completed week 1
Feeling really nervous for week 2 , have to look at some logs for getting creative ideas to tackle week 2
Note: I do these drills when I go out for my daily 1 hour 30 min walks .
What I did today
+Approached and asked time
+Approached and asked time , directions
+Approached and asked time , directions , have you been there
+Approached and asked time , directions , have you been there , do you like it
I did 2 sets and 3 reps.
Holy Moly bros, today was the worst! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Okay this is from the beginning , this post is going to be Long 1st girl
walking towards me with a friend . Asked for the time , I couldn't hear the reply so I leaned my ears forward and she told the time, both of them were flustered and giggling. 2cnd girl :
did the rep , don't remember anything 3rd girl :
did the rep , don't remember anything 4rth girl:
Holy shit , this was hard as fuck.
#I asked a girl for time directions and by the time she was answering the direction question she was walking away , And of course nervousness kicked in and I didn't ask her "have you been there". All this happened very fast so to make sure I get sufficient time to ask 4 questions I decided to shoot for stationary girls.
# I was shooting for girls who were just standing somewhere
Approached this girl , asked for time and directions and she quickly got into an autorikshaw and went away.
#She was standing facing away , and I continue my walk and when I reached near her asked for the time.
She gave me the time after that she was walking away , I thought like "oh she is going away" . And I went (cuz of nervousness , because I was shooting for stationary girls to get enough time , because I didn't feel like talking to someone that didn't want to talk to me [ again could be the nerves kicking in and biting at every single excuse ] , but as I was walking away I noticed that She was not going anywhere and in fact she was just trying to get away from me because she didn't want to talk.
#After that the nerves totally kicked in. Skipped on a lot of girls , My heart was beating hard . But I kept going , I knew I could do it . I also realized that my anxiousness shows when I approach [That was a gamechanger]. I kept walking and very casually asked for the time , asked where the grocery store was , asked if she's been there , asked if she liked it.
She and I was walking in the same direction and I hit from the side with the time casually. She couldn't walk away cuz we were walking in the same direction this time.
After I did the drill I asked if the prices are cheap to look normal [ That was a bad idea ]. After that she made it her responsibility to make sure I found the store .
I let her [previous girl] go in front of me , crossed the road and asked the time to another girl. 2cnd girl:
Did the drill , normal 3rd girl:
did the drill normal. She was walking by on the opposite side of the road[not very wide] , I ask her for time ,directions , have you been there. 4th girl:
Again the gates of hell had opened.
I was skipping girls (groups , or with guys , or around many people , earphones etc)
# My heart wasn't beating as hard as in the previous set , but the nerves were cracking like crazy .
I eventually spot a short girl , cute , had grocery bag or something and just went and did the drill. [ She was walking towards me , I was walking towards her (I don't mean intentionally walking towards each other just 2 people walking on the streets ]
I asked for the time , she slowed down and answered , then I hit her with "Do you know where the walkway is (Blunder : I accidentally pointed in that direction with my thumb , but I guess weirder the better) " she answered , I ask her " if she's been there " , answers and starts walking away , I ask " do you like it " while she walks away , she says "No" .
Which is a weird answer , But it might be because She thought I asked "do you like me"
[ In my language we ask "do you like" the "it " part doesn't exists it is pre assumed that it's the walkway , but she might have thought I was talking about me]
But bottom line she was clearly weirded out. ( I also felt a lick at the taste of rejection hmm...)
did the drill , don't remember. 2cnd girl:
did the drill , don't remember. 3rd girl:
asked for time direction and have you been there .
She was walking toward me slowed down to answer the time and stopped when I was asking the other 2.
When I was starting to walk away , she asked "Why are you asking me this , smiling cuz this shit is weird AF and she found it funny". I told "because I am going there right now".
4th girl :
nerves hit me again , oh the dread.
asked a girl for the time [ walking towards me ]. She told the time while slowing down. She looked very scary and busy , and add my nervousness on top of that I couldn't bring myself to force stop her and ask 3 more questions. Skipped a lot of girls
and gave up for the day cuz it was getting dark [why did I do that? keep reading]
Problems I noticed :
Women are afraid to talk to strangers .
Why does this bother me , because It makes me feel like I am putting them in danger whereas in reality I am completely harmless and just want to ask 4 questions , and the only reason I feel that way is because they fear me.
Is it like this everywhere in the world or is this due to Indian social Engineering [ I am assuming the former , because I believe people are basically the same everywhere around the world ].
Because they are afraid , they try to end the conversation asap or try and leave the situation somehow. A lot of the times when I asked for the time to a girl who is with the boy , the boy tends to give the answer .
Now about what's going on in my head , more than anxiousness I was feeling real fear , because that 4rth drill is super weird and exposes everything up till " do you like it".
Asking for time and directions just means that I want to get to certain place within a certain time. Asking if you have been there is a bit weirder but it just means I am making sure she is giving the right directions. But asking "Do you like it" just totally screws the whole story and that makes the girl be a little cautious and she gets her guard up even more.
Why was I feeling fear?
Because no matter guy/girl there is a limit to how much bull shit people tolerate. The more weird questions I ask , the more their tolerance decreases. It's only a matter of time before someone get's fed up. When they get fed up they [ or someone near ] are going to call me out on my bull shit . And when that happens I will have to fight verbally alone while the girl might get help from the people around (cause she is a girl and also because nothing I am asking her makes sense). And I want to avoid something like that ( probably because I am a pussy I don't know I might be confused right now ).
The walking away shit / Not getting enough time to ask the 4th question (but sometimes do get time when I do the 3rd rep , sadly not the 4rth rep )
I feel like if I go behind her trying to catch her and asking weird questions her tolerance will go down and guard will go up (which means she is getting scared , which means I am feeling *1) someone might call me out [ I am not gonna lie , it does scare me ].
I gave up when it got dark because at night women are always at highest guard ( Because they tend to be a bit more afraid to walk around at night ). The street I am walking is a normal street , with lots of houses (more inside the street) and lots of shops , restaurants , parks etc on the side of the main road. Families live there so it's not like near a bar or club (I am assuming women have their guard down substantially at bars or clubs idk , In India you have to be 21 to enter bars or clubs [I'm 20] and usually bars are 80% guys)
Why do I have a problem if it's dark?
Doing the drills is much weirder (might be a mind game ) because their guard is up, because their guard is up I feel *1.
Tomorrow going to go out a bit earlier and make sure it doesn't get dark (If I don't quit , the thoughts are coming and going because today was brutal).
Totally confused today.
Thinking about changing the location to a mall . Lot more young girls (less fear cuz what the hell can a young girl do to me , she might just walk away at max) but on the down side all the girls are probably with guys or in groups or with family members . Don't even know if malls have a lot of people , haven't went to one since lockdown.
May be all this is just me being a pussy , May be all this is approach anxiety fucking with me , May be I am actually afraid .
I am sure I would have done all 4 sets if it didn't go dark , but then again I won't know cuz I never did it....
Thanks for reading the whole thing , much appreciated.
You did 2 sets and 3 reps. That is progress. You don't have to do the whole day of drills in one calendar day.
Your intuition is right on that the darker it gets the harder it gets to do the approaches.
Your intuition is off about girls freaking out just because you're asking needy questions. The worst thing that happens is you get some cold reactions or girls walk away from you. If you don't believe me, find an area of town where there are lots of beggars or homeless people (but don't go anywhere unsafe). Passerbys will largely ignore them. That is the worst thing that'll happen to you.
On that note, how can you avoid being mistaken for a beggar? Dress for success! The better you look, the better reactions you'll get. You don't have to wear a full suit, but dress as smart as you reasonably can.
I know I can do 8a,8b etc, but I want to avoid it as much as possible , I will do it if I think I can't get the drill done in a single day, but deep down I knew I could have done this drill in a single day . I also feel like if I would be using the freedom of doing 8a,8b etc as an excuse to be lazy or to be a pussy , That's another reason why I don't want to do that.
Thanks for the reality check man , The nerves totally got to my head that day and my imagination was going wild.
What I did today
+ Approached and asked time
+ Approached and asked time , Directions
+ Approached and asked time , Directions , Have you been there
+ Approached and asked time , Directions , Have you been there , Do you like it
Did 5 sets
3rd of 5th set the guy that was with the girl was answering every question , but I counted it anyway since I only have to do 4 sets according to the program.
Good Day , no nerve attacks at all , just did the drill and left.
TO EVERYONE THAT IS DOING THE AA PROGRAM
This Shit works guys
Because I had pushed my self really hard the first time I tried day 8 , I took a day off and checked out the mall ( haven't been there in a while since covid , wanted to see the social situation there ) . Holy shit the Freedom I experienced was insane , I was so happy just walking around . I was seeing opportunities to have FUN That I had never seen before but I couldn't take those opportunities since my social freedom hasn't reached that level yet .
DON'T STOP DOING THE PROGRAM , STICK WITH IT Even if you don't want to be a PUA , even if you don't want to get laid , I feel like this program can increase the quality of your life overall.
(Having said that I hope I don't quit )
TIPS FOR DAY 8
Tip 1: Ask directions for official places , Like passport office or something , It's weird but it probably never comes out as if you are hitting on her.
Challenge: Ask directions for a kinda romantic place like parks , coffee shops etc.
Tip 2: What to expect when doing day 8: Most girls will blank out for a moment when you ask "Do you like it?"
Wait for a response for 2-5 seconds , And then just say that you are just messing with her / you asked all this for no reason and leave / don't leave and listen to her response (If she doesn't respond in 2-5 seconds leave).
Is this considered cheating? ...I don't know , I don't think listening to the answers is part of the drill , but try and listen to the answers cuz it takes balls to do it , and it will help you beat your AA even more.
Tip 3: A lot of women will walk away or keep walking if they are already walking. DON'T let them walk away , you are missing opportunities to complete the drill. I don't mean to stop them forcefully or hold their hand and stop them (Do it if you want ) , I just walk with them , until I ask all the questions.
*Approached total 21 girls TIME:
* 1st Set - 16:36 - 16:42
* 2nd Set - 16:43 - 16:58
* 3rd Set - 16:58 - 17:05
* 4th Set - 17:05 - 17:11
* 5th Set - 17:11 - 17:20
Total Time: 44 min
Good reaction = g = wants to help
Normal reaction = n = weirded out / not welcoming but still wants to help
Bad reaction = b = weirded out / not welcoming but DOES'NT want to help 1,2,3,4 = 1st , 2cnd , 3rd ,4th girl
Didn't record reactions of set 1 got the idea after I remembered Andy's AA Vlog of day 8 when I was going to start set 2.
Set 2: 1g,2n,3g
4b(doesn't know time, kept walking , gave directions , she hasn't been there , didn't answer "do you like it?" (all while walking away , I walked with her not Letting her escape the questions , but I didn't walk with her to get the answer of "Do you like it?" just waited 2 sec for any reaction no reaction the whole time a little pissed off by something[Not me]))
1g,2g,3g,4g(Got confused with the 4th question , told I was messing with her)
1g,2g,3g(was with a guy , he answered everything)
4g/n: group of 2 girls. got rejected (not sure though , but it doesn't matter cuz it felt like getting rejected). gave time , doesn't know directions , hasn't been there , I asked "Do you like the passport office" (Totally weirded out cuz I still asked that even though she hasn't been to the place nor does she know the direction), waited a few seconds and when I was saying "was just messing with you" around the same time but a little before I started my sentence , her friend told they don't like me (I didn't hear very well cuz I just told "I am messing with you and left"). Total 13 g,3 n,1 b
I recorded the reactions to actually see some stats , because usually , I forget the good reactions and the unfavorable ones get stuck in the head.
REACTIONS DON'T MATTER:
Sometimes it will get to you , that's only human.
Some girls will get weirded out the moment you approach them , that doesn't matter though . Woman get intimidated / Shy / Scared / weirded out, I mean ... that's just how some women are and that's normal .
Today I failed to do a rep3 once cuz the moment I approached this girl her eyes showed that she was weirded out which hit me off guard and I left after I asked the time.
Another girl also did the same thing , cuz she was caught off guard when I approached her , I asked the time but she didn't know my language so she just looked down and walked by.
Another girl also got a little startled but after she gave me time and directions she cooled down.
Sometimes it will get weird , there's nothing wrong with that , this is some weird shit after all.
A lot of the times if they get weirded out it's not even your fault bro (don't get weirded out just cuz the girl got weirded out) , YOU ARE JUST HAVING HARMLESS FUN ( If you think you are weird because you think doing shit like this is fun , YOU ARE NOT weird , cuz most people that do these drills will probably agree it is fun) having said that , if a girl thinks you having fun is weird , guess what she is the weirdo , FUN is never weird ... I mean.... everyone likes having fun, why would it be weird.
What I did today
+approached and asked time
+approached and asked time and have you eaten at pizza hut or have you been to pizza hut
+approached and asked time , have you eaten at pizza hut or have you been to pizza hut and did you like it
repeated 5 times
Tips for day 9(Only use when necessary)
tip 1:After asking time , tell them "I have 2 more questions".
tip 2:Go to places where people are just chilling , much better reactions.(Though it shouldn't matter)
tip 3:If you are in India , talk in English , much better received for some reason.
All good reactions , surprisingly.
Switched the location to the mall , little bit harder than the streets (may be since it's my first time doing drills at the mall) , but reactions were way better and lot's more younger girls , streets are filled with mostly old/middle aged women.
1st set rep 3: 2 girls chilling , when I asked have you been to pizza hut they started laughing , and asked "why do you want to know that ?", I just repeated the question , she answered something and I asked the next question , she answered then I left.
2nd set rep 2: similar reaction.
2nd set rep 3:Hot girl , got rejected . She thought I was hitting on her , she just answered the last question with "no , not now".
One creepy ugly lady was eyeing me after I did the 2nd rep.
After that I thought I was done for the day , for some reason I felt today I only had 3 sets.
Went to another location (walk way near a river) for a walk. suddenly remembered I had to do 5 sets. It was getting dark , still busted out the last sets.
4rth set rep 3: used my tip1 , cute girl , didn't understand the question , she asked me to repeat it and then answered both. All while laughing a lot. very fun girl.
5th set rep 3: accidentally did rep 3 before rep 2, again used my tip1.
Young girls are awesome , they are really fun/sweet and not bitter. Some of the reactions were so cute. Approached more younger girls today, since the mall and walkway had many young girls.
For some reason though I feel bad/weird today , I don't know why , could be because of the rejection (but I think I took it pretty well), Just not used to feeling this way.
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