TOPIC: Day 20b

Today I:

- Started an OkCupid profile

I'm not sure how to post a link to it but I will consider this day completed and will be messaging girls as much as possible. I also have a Tinder account which I will be using for the same purpose.

Today I:

- Approached 5 women and asked them for the time.

Got off work late and the mall I wanted to go to was about to close. Instead I went to a nearby grocery store and grabbed a basket to make it look like I was shopping . I was a bit more nervous than I thought I would be for this drill but after passing up a few opportunities I forced myself to approach a girl who was stocking shelves. After that I became much more relaxed and I banged out the other four approaches in about five minutes. One girl seemed a little confused but the rest were super nice to me. One even apologized because she left her phone in her car. Might be hard to beat five minutes tomorrow but I we'll see what happens.

Solid start man! Yeah I think the okcupid link thing was from way back. If you want feedback on Tinder/online, post your photos, they're the #1 thing that matters.

Yeah I kinda figured but I didn't want to feel like I was skipping days . I know that my pictures are all pretty bad right now and I am planning on getting a DSLR in the near future to take better ones so it might be worth it for me to get some feedback after that.

Today I:

- Approached 5 girls and asked for the time
- Did it again but faster

I got off work a little late and had 45 minutes until the nearby mall closed but based on yesterday's drill I thought I would have plenty of time. Got there feeling a bit nervous again but not as bad as yesterday. The second I walked in the door I saw a cute girl walking toward me and without thinking I stopped her and asked for the time. It's crazy how much one approach can completely change your state. I managed to do the other four in 8 minutes. After that I walked around for a bit and was worried I wouldn't be able to do it faster because the mall was closing and most people were leaving, but I was able to do the last five approaches within 5 minutes by strategically using girls who were closing the stores around the mall when I didn't see anyone.

It's crazy how powerful this stuff is, even though I'm just asking for the time. Just walking around the mall between approaches I felt so much less worried about other peoples' judgement (which is largely made up by me) than I normally would and stopping girls while other people walked by barely bothered me at all. I noticed that after my anxiety largely went away, there was still a voice in my head saying "don't do this, you're gonna look stupid," but it was much easier to say "fuck you" to that voice. It might be harder to say that on the future drills when the point is to look stupid XD.

Today I:

- Approached a girl and asked for the time
- Approached a girl and asked for the time and directions
- Approached a girl and asked for the time, directions, and if she had been there
- Repeated this 5 times

Had to take a few days off for personal reasons but found that starting this drill was very easy, as it still felt like I had some momentum. Completed the first two sets in ~20 minutes but had a tougher time finishing the last three as there weren't that many girls around the mall where I was. Ended up doing them in ~50 minutes but could have done them much quicker if there were more opportunities. I also did pass on a few in the beginning for various reasons and was regretting not taking action when I was struggling to find girls to approach at the end. Did manage to complete it however.

The reactions I got were almost all positive and 90% of the girls seemed genuinely concerned about helping me find the store I was looking for. I had one girl tell me she didn't speak english when I asked her the time and I said "Oh really?" and she said "What?" (in english) and I asked the time again and she told me she doesn't speak english again so I left. Otherwise nothing out of the ordinary, just need to focus on not talking myself out of approaching when I have an opportunity so I can get the drills done faster.

Today I:

- Asked a girl for the time
- Asked a girl for the time and directions
- Asked a girl for the time, directions, and if she had been there
- Asked a girl for the time

The drill for this day was supposed to be the first three drills repeated 5 times but I got off work late and the mall I went to was very empty, within an hour of closing. There just weren't enough girls there for me to complete this drill. The four approaches took me over 30 minutes of walking around in circles. In the future I am going to try some different places around where I live for this to see where I can find the most girls to do these drills. I live near several college campuses so those might be better if there are people actually going to class.

Despite the difficulty today which was solely because of a lack of women to approach, I can say that even in the 4 days I have been doing drills almost all my approach anxiety is completely gone for these basic drills. Asking attractive girls for the time and directions didn't give me any anxiety at all but less than a week ago when I started I had a pretty large amount of anxiety about just asking for the time.

Today I:

- Asked a girl for the time
- Asked a girl for the time and directions
- Asked a girl for the time, directions, and if she had been there
- Repeated this 3.5 times

My goal was to do this sequence 5 times but I had a tough time today for some reason. It took me an hour and a half to do the sequence 3.5 times (I did it 3 times and then I did the first two drills again). I definitely passed on some opportunities but I also felt like there weren't a lot of attractive girls around to approach, though I was in a fairly busy mall. I think I just automatically rule out a lot of approaches in my head because there's too many people around, she's in a group, she is on the phone, etc. Definitely would like to get to the point where I can knock out these drills much quicker than I have been but I think I just need to keep at it and get used to approaching regardless of the situation.

I also felt a bit more in my head today and had more anxiety starting than I had during previous days, though the anxiety was gone after the first two approaches. I think this is partly because I had been forced to take a few days off before doing the first part of this drill (Day 7a) and then two more days off before today (Day 7b).

The reactions I got today were mostly positive but for the first time a girl completely ignored me. We were walking toward each other and I cut over in front of her to stop her and said "excuse me" to get her attention and then she turned and started walking a completely different direction. I didn't feel too bad about it because I know that this will happen from time to time when doing cold approach, but it hurt a little bit XD.

I might try to do this drill again tomorrow or at least do several sets along with the drills for Day 8 because although I did barely complete this drill I wasn't really feeling like I crushed it.

Today I:

- Asked a girl for the time, directions, and if she had been there
- Asked a girl for the time
- Asked a girl for the time and directions
- Asked a girl for the time, directions, and if she had been there

My original plan for today was to start Day 8 but since I didn't get very far I'll call this the end of Day 7. The reason I wasn't able to approach a lot was because I was trying a college campus near where I live, which was a location I had never been to. I spent a lot of time in the beginning wandering around looking for the busier areas of campus and a half an hour trying to find a place to use the restroom (lol). This place definitely has potential if I stay in the busy areas as there were a lot of girls out and about. I think this place could be better than the mall I had been going to, especially during the week so I think I'll try it again next time. Ideally I would like to get to a point where I can do an entire day of drills in an hour or two at most as this would make this program easier to fit into my schedule while still making good progress but I think I will get faster as I learn which places will have the most girls at certain times of the day, week, etc.

For the four approaches I did today the reactions were nothing out of the ordinary. I really don't feel any anxiety stopping girls who are walking past anymore but I do still get a little nervous approaching girls who are sitting, especially if there is more than one in a group. I think I will try to do more approaches where girls are sitting to try and challenge myself a bit more.

Today I:

- Asked a girl for the time
- Asked a girl for the time and directions
- Asked a girl for the time, directions and if she had been there
- Asked a girl for the time, directions, if she had been there and if she liked it
(X2)

Making progress but still wasn't able to finish the entire drill today. I don't know if I will be able to get to a point where I can consistently finish a set of drills in a single day as I don't have more than an hour or two each day to devote to this but even still I will keep doing it in small chunks if I have to.

Today's drill was the first time where it felt like I was having (small) conversations with girls rather than just stopping them for a quick question. It was a bit difficult to ask the last question as it usually was kind of a weird set up and the girls that I did do it to all seemed a bit confused. I was on a college campus so the conversations went something like "Do you know where X building is?" "Yeah, it's over there." "Have you been there?" "Um, yeah." "Do you like it?" "Um, yeah I guess." Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I was feeling a bit nervous at the start today but I find that after a single approach my anxiety now goes away for the most part. I do still have difficulty approaching in certain situations but it is more of a feeling of "I don't want to bother her" than anxiety. Going to try to work on being more assertive when asking these questions as two girls had to ask me to repeat myself and I felt a general vibe of "I don't want to bother you" when I approached some girls, and when I feel it I can tell that they feel it too.

Hey man, way to stick with it. Even if you can't get a full day done, just do as much as you can each day. You can always bust out multiple days on weekends or as the occasion arises.

Definitely recommend college campuses as a solid spot. Keep it up

Yeah thanks man! Definitely gonna try to step it up on the weekends when I get a chance to make some time up.