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Looking much better but I think you can still go shorter
Try packing as much of the emotion into the texts in as few words as possible. Girls don’t really care about the details. Everything is about the feeling
I think Chris actually might have touched on a related subject in one of his articles. “Don’t try to be smooth” comes to mind
What I think honestly may have happened though is that when you said “It happens, people get stifled” it gives off the impression that you do this a lot. She may have felt out that she was just 1 of the 20 after reading that which just cancels out the excitement and butterflies of getting approached.
That’s just my 2 cents though. I’m not one of the experts here but I have had my fair share of fuckups and learning experiences. Realistically there are plenty of girls that will flake and ghost you for no logical reason and that’s why this is ultimately a numbers game
@JacobPalmer123 Nah, she didn’t “let me know”. I get what you’re saying by “just delete her number and forget about her”, and that’s the mentality I’ve had since I discovered game. I’m not sure if that’s always the case though. I texted the other girl back, with a bit of “push” to provoke her, create fear of loss, plus a bit of teasing. She texted right back, so she just needed an emotional spike (For context, she was big on espressos, had 2 cups on her table). So far, there’s a bit of tension and attraction there, I’ll keep you guys updated.
My sister spoke to me about this from a female’s perspective, and it seemed to resonate with what this girl told me: She doesn’t know me yet, we’re just strangers and she needs time to build comfort and know that I’m not a fake/scammer/murderer, etc. After all, I’ve only been in her life for a few minutes, regardless how charming, bold, whatever I might have been. And yes, the idea of calling was what unsettled them, that kind of stuff you just have to do without scheduling. Especially with the texting culture, many people are socially crippled and/or self-conscious. I think if I had done the same with that blond chick from last week, bantered a bit more and not just straight-up business, we would’ve been getting somewhere, but too late now, I’ve deleted her number. Live and learn.
That girl didn't reply to my text, I think I did a stellar job, she's going to reply at some point, I'll just keep that on the backlog.
Went surfing today. Wasn't planning on doing drills or getting numbers, having an off day. But things were just falling into my laps. First, I broke my leash and my board got washed ashore, I had to get back on the beach. Another girl ( girl A ) happened to have broken her leash too, so I chatted her up. She asked if I had board wax, I did, and helped her wax her board, fix her leash. Didn't really vibe well but she was very receptive, kept saying "yeah" and tried to make conversation. We got back in the water, I started going deep, turned around she was gone. I was like shit, let me get her #, but I couldn't find her.
While I was looking for her on the beach, I ran into a girl ( girl B ) with a cool board, it looked hand-painted so I asked, and it was! We started chatting and her 2 friends came back from the water. I was engaging all of them in the conversation, talking about surfing and fun experiences. Now one of the friends was hella cute, exactly my type, tall-ish, blond, easy smile, quiet but fun. They seemed to like me and I told them we should link up, they were enthusiastic. After I got girl B's number, I told the blond girl "you're actually cute, I might get your number", she smiled "what do you mean you might, are you going to or not?", I was like "I might, or I might not. I might text you, and we might hang out, I'm a busy guy." She continued to smile, "I'm pretty busy myself too", we continued to banter. I saw her tattoo on her arm, it was a clear tattoo of a plant that shares the same name as hers. So I was tracing my fingertip on her tattoo, telling her it's really cool, she showed me her other tattoos, one of them was a red loop on her wrist, I told her in Chinese culture, there's a thing called red line/vine, where a couple would both wear a red thread on their wrists, and I just need to get one too and we'd be a couple. She laughed and gave me a nudge on the arm, "I like you, James". I went ahead and got her number, just texted her to meet up, she said "ok!", we're ironing out the plans rn to meet up tomorrow, she's in a different state and it's out of my depth, I had her suggest a place to hang out, she's still thinking, we'll see what happens, I think there's a chance I might stay over, get laid, since it's a long drive. But who knows, we might not meet up after all.
And guess what, girl A left a note on my windshield, and it just brought a smile to my face, karma.
Of fucking course, she stopped replying when we were setting up where to meet. It's hard for me to lead since I don't know jack shit about her city/state. I just texted her this morning "nvm, you don't seem very keen". Man, I'm so tired of this bullshit, just fucking dreadful, now I need to talk myself up to go out and approach. I feel sick to my stomach. Texted girl B to arrange a surfing sesh, maybe I’ll see them again and go for heavy kino.
I just texted her this morning "nvm, you don't seem very keen".
Well, that was passive agresive as fuck. Don't be this frustrated dude.
Did she change her mind? Most likely. But if there was a little chance she just forgot/was busy, then you just burned a bridge. You could just text her "Hey, you there?" or something neutral like this.
Feeding pussy to my octopussy.
3 lays on 2018
12 lays on 2019 (4 being non-legit)
@S3nga, she literally just texted me the town she’s in, and followed up a second text cuz she forgot to put a smiley face. Then I told her “this is out of my depth, do you know if there’s anywhere nice? Something casual, like a park.” And I’m free tomorrow. Then she was just gone. I know I was supposed to just google some shit and say this is where we’re going, but I was just lazy. There’s still a chance we might meet again though, through the surf sesh I suggested to her friend.
Went out today to approach, really wasn't feeling it, tried to stop 2 girls to no avail. Basically just walked around for 3 hours and came home. I kept thinking so what if I get a number, they’re just going to flake or not text back, getting a number isn’t that exciting anymore. But man the girls that I got numbers from were all a solid 8 and above, they’re probably getting bombarded with messages every day. I don’t know if a cold approach makes a better impression than just a tinder swipe. Well, but at least I wasn’t matching with 8,9,10 on tinder lol, my pics really sucked and I never take pictures.
Just read some older posts from a guy that finished AA, he was getting flaked left and right as well and that made me feel a bit better, will go out tomorrow and aggressively getting numbers, just fucking text them all the same shit, rinse & repeat.
Man, this stuff isn’t healthy, it reveals the true colors of the female species. I’m starting to resent them, it’s almost the female version of nice guy vs. fuck boy. Most girls are going to be boring, indecisive, flakey, even rude. That fucking rock I spent 30 minutes painting for that girl, it was fucking sweet and clever, and she didn’t say shit. Is it just me or is she fucking rude?
A question to all the senior losers here, what do you guys typically say when you approach a girl, and how long do you stay in the convo before you go for a number?
@jc127, around 3% approach to lay ratio is GOOD. Flakes (and lots of them) are part of the game. I can't find the post where GLL talks about this (he might've even had a 6% ratio) but I found Krauser's stats, which line up with that.
And by the way, I'm also in a fuck-all-girls mood these days. More so on Tinder etc than from approaching. Not saying I should be but I'm pointing out that rage quitting is lame. All the greatest success stories include overcoming adversity.
For your bolded question. I can't really say because I just talk about random crap, make jokes, tease them. Sounds like same stuff you were doing with the surfer girls. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Maybe coming off as too needy / not chill over text but again could just be a normal amount of flakes.
Don't go there. Resentment. Rise above that. You probably already know that.
Always remember that you are playing the numbers game. Sooner or later (believe in sooner and stay prepared if later) something will happen from one of the numbers you get. And it just takes one - and you'll forget about all the others who flaked.
Experience this enough time and accept it for what it is - part of the game. You should aim to be indifferent about it eventually i.e. not letting it get to you.
161/160 cold approaches
Approach in the gym
Cold approach lays (2/2)
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", "Aren't you going to tell me that I'm cute too?", I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", "Aren't you going to tell me that I'm cute too?", "What did you say?" (pretend like you didn't hear her), I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave.
Was in the mood for day 50 today, I did the last part 3 times whenever I could, but I’ll count this as day 50. It was just a bad day, I was getting rejected left and right, many walked off on me. At one point I was thinking “am I ugly or something?”, even though I was getting the eye from 8/10 people walking by. Had a convo with a girl early on in the day and it was one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had, bailed quickly. I was getting a lot of “boyfriend”, “seeing someone”, “not interested”, so only about 8 could count toward the drill.
I was about ready to call it a day, saw this blond chick across the street by herself and I was like “here goes nothing”. Crossed the street, I was a few steps behind her, and she suddenly turned around and walked back in my direction. I barged right in, and she was very chill. I just finished the intro, and she was asking my name, messed up my rhythm, I quickly recovered “aren’t you going to tell me I’m cute too?”, she did, I kept asking “what did you say”, and she just smiled “you’re trying to get me to say it again, I already said it”, I went “I’m just playing with you” and transitioned into a normal conversation. She was very receptive and was asking me questions, the whole time I was thinking where the hell do girls like this come from? She asked if I had any social media, I joked about her “trying to make sure I’m not a murderer”, I don't really use social media though, it takes a lot of energy to maintain a profile and I don’t have time for that. I took her number, the whole thing was pretty smooth, and I tried one of Scotty’s tricks, “before I go, are you one of those flakey girls? When I text you, I want you to be very enthusiastic. I don’t like flakey girls”, she smiled “I’ll try”, and right away I got the vibe that she was going to flake. We shook hands again and I pulled her in for a hug. There was so much more I could’ve done but I was so wrapped up in the moment and I forgot about all the physical stuff, but this is exactly what week 7 is for. Afterwards, I checked her number, she even put her last name in. It is absolutely true that nice girls >>>>> ice princesses. And she was very cute too, well at least the top half of the face that was visible. Let me enjoy this for a while before she flakes on me, lol. I love game.
Thanks @RogerRoger for the articles, those stats made me feel better about the flakes. And thanks @Eames, I just needed to rant for a bit. I don’t go around with judgments, I know I’m better than that.
Edit: My first text was to tease her about turning around when she saw me, and she's not texting me at all, lol. It's amusing by this point.
Went out and did one set yesterday, AA is creeping back up. Ever since I started getting numbers and flakes, a lot of my insecurities have resurfaced, I even feel worse than before, maybe I'll feel better after writing this.
I'm an aspiring immigrant who came to the US in 2014 for college. For the most part of my life (since 9, I'm 23 now), I've been bouncing between different cities going to boarding schools and was rarely around my family. When we did get together, my parents were always fighting, and I just wanted to get the hell out of there, the support I'd received from them was mostly monetary. My experiences have conditioned me to be independent and sometimes, too independent. I would treat everyone as if they're dispensable, even the few people that are closest to me, and the non-needy mindset that pickup preaches fits perfectly into my world. I came to the US without speaking much English, on top of the new culture/environment, I naturally retreated back into my shell. I worked my butts off studying, everything I did was some form of learning, and fast forward, college was over, I'd barely made any friends, didn't go to one party, still stuck in my own little world. The upside is that I'd become really good in almost everything I do, let that be my English, programming (my career), surfing, kickboxing, playing guitar, singing, blab blah, and I did get hired by a company that's sponsoring my green card and helping me fulfill my American dream. Those were my ways of self-expression, but deep down, I didn't want to just be good with things on my own.
After graduation, I spent the summer going on a cross-country road trip. I had seen and experienced things that weren't even in my reality before. As related to pickup, I'd gone into clubs, made out with girls instantly, got a number (very solid, we were going to hookup if I had just called her, I didn't though). I'd spent a week trying to get down a girl's pants but the most I'd got out of her was some makeouts. I'd seen a "douchebag" at the hostel pulling 2 girls (whom I liked and spent a lot of time building rapport with) on two separate nights within a couple of hours! I came back from the trip, and was red-pilled and got deep into the pickup stuff. I can recite almost every theory that there is about pickup, and have tried to apply some stuff in clubs, all to no avail, even less so than when I was on the road trip and didn't know any of this stuff. Then the pandemic hit, and I came up on this program. Life is good as long as you're making progress, and I have been! I was feeling very good about myself up until this point. Truth is, I don't have a life that's considered normal, I don't have friends and family that are a phone call away here. Yeah, the girls might think I'm attractive, but something is just not clicking, I feel like a ghost floating around in the world, and I know, if anyone would just have a little patience, to sit down and get to know me, I have so much to offer and they'd really like me. No one would though, everyone seems very caught up in their own businesses, friend circles, or maybe I'm just pushing them away without realizing it.
Like everything else I do, I probably will knock this one down, get laid, no matter how long it takes, but I honestly don't know if this is what's going to bring me fulfillment, every time I reach a goal (or get close to reaching it), I panic and start looking for more. I don't even know why I'm writing this, I wish I could meet some of you guys, this program has been one of the few things I do where I'm sharing my experience throughout and not going at it alone, and I really appreciate each and every one of you, every comment, advice, long or short, means a lot to me. The fact that we’re just strangers on the internet, with no agenda, and our purpose as the one thing that bonds us together, makes it even more beautiful, it's an experience I will treasure for many years to come.
Hey man, thanks for sharing your story. If you haven't checked out the end of Andy's AA log / start of his getting laid log, might want to give that a look.
Have you listened to the week 7 initial audio file yet? I highly recommend it.
My sense is that you haven't achieved outcome independence yet. Neither did Andy. You can still get laid if you push through but you'll save some pain if you get through week 7.
And about not having a tight bond with friends and family, I can connect with you there. When I first hit a 2 plate deadlift I felt so proud of myself, I was beaming non-stop. But I didn't have anyone irl I felt comfortable sharing it with without feeling like it'd be total showboating. I'm getting close to 3 plates and I'm going to let people know whether they think I'm being a douchebag or not.
I've started listening to Westside Barbell's podcast and one thing that stuck out to me is the idea that normal people do normal things. It's abnormal people that are elite. Like you with school, programming, etc.
I was the same way in college, never went to a party. I actually remember one night walking most of the way to the main party house on campus - but when I got to the path to the door I stopped, listened to the music in agony and went back to studying.
The great thing about our stage of life is we're still on our meteoric rise up.
I'd be down to meet up; let me know if you're ever in Michigan. I don't plan on visiting Boston anytime soon. Maybe in May. I will start travelling in January though. I'll be hitting up Austin in January for sure and Florida in February. If you're traveling too let me know.
The last thing I wanted to say about girls thinking you're attractive but something not quite clicking: have you read Mark Manson's book Models? I hated the first half of it or so but it definitely has some solid points on the attraction of non-neediness / confidence. Might be worth a look.
Out for 2-3 hours, not sure how many I did exactly, but I'll say about 6 that would count. I'm taking a hybrid approach with the drills these days. I'd go in for a handshake, if I get it, I'll do "You have a strong handshake, you should be my bodyguard.", then squeeze them on the arms, then I would go "Aren't you going to tell me that I'm cute too?", then go into a conversation. I'm not even bothering with the ones that don't shake my hand or try to do an elbow, I've not gotten a number from those girls.
Great hit rate today, I didn't wear a mask, and surprisingly that had gotten me more attention and a higher stop/handshake rate. 1 in 2 girls shook my hand, I think only 2 girls that shook my hand didn't give me their numbers (one black, she kept on walking, one I didn't ask, it was my first set and I was nervous), and I hugged all of them at the end, so far all 4 numbers seem to be dead. I only said "Hey XXX, it's James, it was nice meeting you tonight", I'm not so hung up on those anymore, still strange though, when in person, they all seemed to be responding well, giggling, laughing, I maintained most of the handshakes for a good 10 seconds. One girl was going to CVS, I joked about her going to get condoms and that it was too quick. Opened a girl with "you've got the swag", turned out she had 8 drinks and was drunk, kinda over the top energetic and giggly. Another one told me she's got a date tomorrow and still gave me her number. There were no awkward conversations, I had a feeling this one girl (condom) might lead to somewhere, that was the only conversation I remember tonight and she gave me a really firm hug, but so far I only got a "who is this???", after I just said my name in my first text, might be a fake number, we'll see.
Man, I think the next step is to just physically escalate as much as possible, I'll have to keep holding their hands, and try to get them to take their masks off then go for a kiss, this seems like the only way to get a girl invested enough to meet up again.
Today marks my 10th number, 1 almost meetup, rest didn't even go past 3 messages. This is kinda shit isn't it.
RogerRoger wrote: Have you listened to the week 7 initial audio file yet? I highly recommend it.
Yes, many times, my moment came more so on day 42 though, when that Asian chick gave me the nudge I needed. I will try my best to finish week 7, I have no anxiety whatsoever when I'm doing the drills, I only do them to warm up to the approaches.
RogerRoger wrote: have you read Mark Manson's book Models?
Yes, thoroughly, took notes too and I'm reading it again as we speak. I got "hey XXX, it's XXX, it was nice meeting you tonight." text opener from the book actually.
@RogerRoger yo that's awesome man, I work out rigorously too and I know that each plate means a lot to a powerlifter, you should definitely let people know if you feel like it, being passionate about something is a very attractive quality in a person. I haven't thought about going to Michigan, but definitely let me know if you come to Boston, I think I will have gotten some lays by May, we can go approach together, maybe go for a surf sesh and hit the gym. I'll DM you my contact info.
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I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.