TOPIC: Keep me the hell accountable

Day 12
Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, Leave
Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, I'm planning a candlelit dinner for my girlfriend, Leave
Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, I'm planning a candlelit dinner for my girlfriend, I'm the sweetest guy ever, Leave
Repeat this 4 times today, you will speak to 16 girls in total.

It's feeling pretty weird out here with the coronavirus thing. I feel weird leaving the house while everyone around me's hunkering down in their houses. But you know what, I did it anyway.

Today I felt pretty chill because it's supposed to be a sweet question, and doesn't force you to be nosy. But I don't think there's much difference. I don't care that I'm nosy anymore. Repeating Day 11 helped with that.

Women were so helpful and a lot of them went "aww" when I told them I was planning a candlelit dinner for my girlfriend. One lady told me she didn't "work there", which was funny. However, the weirdest thing was... one girl recognized me because I had asked her for a place to buy a cellphone two days ago... I was like "Oh fuck" because that's been my top anxiety doing these drills: having some woman realize I'm not genuinely asking for the time, or whatever else I'm asking for. But I kind of played it off and I talked to her a bit more about cellphones. Then I left.

Had a bit of blockage doing the last couple ones, since I was really tired. Today in general I had a tired feeling. But I wanted to do it anyway since this is priority #1.

Anyone still reading this?

What country are you in? That's crazy. Guys from GLL are from all over the world, and I've heard the coronavirus mentioned in a few logs (including my own haha). Depending on how my local government reacts, I might have to fully stop approaching til this blows over, hell I'm just waiting for an email from my Uni telling us that they're closing down due to the pandemic, I'd bet money that this WILL happen before the end of the month. People are already going crazy over here buying out all the water and toilet paper at local stores.

I'm still reading. I'm on day 14. Have to redo it. The whole program has been largely easy up until this day. I want to blame it on coronavirus but I think it's just a cop-out and a bunch of BS in my head. Just talking to people and the coronavirus hasnt been an issue for me. It's only when I went for high fives did I think it was a problem. But again nobody told me that I'm just making an excuse for why the day was bad.

Because of coronavirus and the fact that I'm flying to be with elderly family, it would be unfair to them to expose myself to so many people every day like this for now... but I really fucking want to keep going. Any ideas on a gameplan? What do you even do in this kind of situation? I'd hate to lose gains and lose self-discipline at this point. I'm committed to the program and the literal day-to-day doing of it.

@Manganiello I haven't gotten to high-fives yet, seems fun. But yeah, what the heck. Maybe we should keep going? What'd you end up doing? You should keep a log on here.

@1v1meKid I'm on the west coast in the States. Most UNIs I've heard about have closed down on-site stuff. Workplaces, the same.

Glad you guy are keeping up! @1v1mekid I see that you're pretty ahead of me. I'm trying to avoid looking at further days before I do them so I'll actually go through with them without making subconscious excuses ahead of time. But @Manganiello, you're about at the same day as me. Definitely make a journal my man.

Ok I'll put my journal up. I have it on my phone just give me a day to put it up.

... About the Coronavirus...

I'm going to still do it. I've had a day to think about it. And it's clear to me that I should only stop of it is objectively necessary to stop. The only time I should or will stop is if

1) If going AA drills is counterproductive. Meaning after 1 full week of drills I feel worse off at the end of the week then the start.

2) If doing AA Drills is almost impossible. Meaning I can commit 3 hours to a drill and not complete 1 set.

2) I actually get the coronavirus or coronavirus type symptoms... in that case I will research and wait however long it takes to 100% get it out of my system to not spread it... then resume.


... Right now the coronavirus is like the easiest excuse in the world to take a break. And honestly the last thing in the world I want to do is take a break.

I'm doing AA drills to combat Anxiety & Excuses. So if I give up (or suspend) myself without actually TRYING and getting actual FEEDBACK. Then the whole thing is in my head and just an excuse.

It will probably take longer to do drills, the reactions might be worse... but progress is progress. And the whole design of the program is to destroy outcome dependence so it might actually be a good thing!

I wish it were easier, but this is about being able to look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day.

Treyback if you can still do the drills do them. If you've made it this far you can keep going.

Visiting elderly people is a legit concern.

You could always research how many days it takes from infection to showing symptoms and take a break that long before your visit (like if its 7 days, wait 10)... do your own research and make your own decisions.

But I'm still going to go. And I'd hate to be the only person in the GLL approach anxiety program to keep trying.
...

If anyone wants accountability partnering my number is +1 403-eight two eight-9102. Just text me.

@Manganiello, Hey, I admire your determination, but I think that a global pandemic being declared is one of those objectively necessary situations you mention. Stopping your approach anxiety program now does not mean you are a pussy or you are quitting.

The reality is that we don't know enough about this new virus to make conclusions about how dangerous it really is. What we do know is that Italy is currently experiencing 200+ new deaths every single day because of Covid-19 and if they didn't take extreme measures, you can bet that number would keep rising exponentially. China had similar stats before they went on full lock. As a result of China's extreme measures, their numbers are starting to look promising. I certainly hope you reconsider your decision to continue, at least until we know more about this or until it begins to subside. The sooner the virus stops spreading, the sooner we can return to our normal routines.

Well, we're officially on lockdown. It's literally illegal to leave the house for non-essentials in my county now. This is probably the only excuse to not do the drills.

How are you guys holding up? @1v1mekid @Manganiello