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5 years back i quit at week 4 to focus on business, biggest mistake of my life.
didn't expect this business stuff to take so many years, and im still not successful.
I should have been banging pussy the whole time at least, instead i barely did shit.
Now i lost much of the benefits and have to start over.
I'm not gonna rush through, ill go at my own pace but will try my best to do at least the day 1 drill every time i go out somewhere, and ill try in general to go out more often with friends, at least on weekends, so i can get used to being out and about.
My game plan is wake up early everyday, work out and work on business, and everything else after.
I think being consistent at this will give me more self confidence that will make me feel like i deserve pussy.
Cause ive been waking up in the afternoon a lot lately and haven't got any work done and it makes me feel like a loser who hasn't got his own life handled, i can't pick up chicks with this self image.
Did Week 1 drill a few times last night in manhattan, it was FREEZING outside.
lol the first 2 chicks i came up to, said "hey girls", one of them jumped a bit was startled.
She had her phone in her hand and i asked for the time shes like "No" very sternly LOL
i was walking away and started laughing cause how serious she was.
10 seconds later i stop another chick who was walking fast, and she gave me the time no problem.
also stopped by a group of like 6 chicks all with their phones out, "Do any of u girls have the time?"
and it was all good.
I still feel tiny hints of anxiety on my very first drill if im not quite in a happy joyful mood, but the social momentum builds up almost instant.
I'm gonna do this drill 5-10 girls a day for now, till the concept of interacting with female strangers is ingrained in me.
i remember when i first started years back, even just asking a ton of chicks for the time helped me a lot with AA, at least 25% of it gone just like that.
spent most day at home, only did 2 drills today on the way to the bank then the grocery store, but it was beneficial cause I was in a bit of a timid state at first, but as i was walking in the fresh air and chilling i started smiling and feeling better and really got relaxed and started vibing.
stopped one super cute chick, got the time she smiled and everything.
and asked another chick at the store.
Good day today,
asked the time like 40 chicks today!
Even did one within 10 seconds of each other, asked one chick in the middle of the the crosswalk, and then a daughter with her mother 15 feet behind.
The mother was like wtf i just saw you get the time from the chick in front and said uhh naw lol
That shit made me laugh after for little while lol, felt so silly.
Did something super ballsy at work at whole foods today, it was 10:30pm so most store was empty, i was at the cash register buying potatoes, and one of the sexiest chicks at the place with the most perfect ass in the world was standing there with 3 black coworkers.
I just look at her and said "you the sexiest worker here", the black dude next to her was like "oh shit lol" and walked away a few steps, everyone like froze totally, she looked so embarrassed smiling wide lol, i started smiling too i had no idea what would happen if i said that, it was like out of nowhere lol
but nothin happen, i just said goodnight and walked away. She's different department but I hope i don't get fired lol
I been working there for like 3 months now but this is the first time i had the balls to say anything, i bet she won't forget my face now lol, next time she sees me gonna be funny haha
I was giggling like a schoolgirl on the way to the train lol haha
I feel so much freer now already, the progress is much faster than last time 5 years ago, probably those ABC drills are still ingrained somewhere in my body lol
I'm getting that feeling of entitlement now, not like im better than anyone, but that i deserve as much as anyone to be socially free and do what i want. and that im ready to fight and die for my right to feel free.
I had a semi irrational fear for a long time that if i get to ballsy ima end up having to fight people or something, but now i feel like if that's the price to be paid than im ready.
I make apps and also got a youtube channel that blew up a little bit in the last 6 months.
its a work in progress lol
My business is my primary goal cause that's how i change my financial situation permanently and can buy my own place while taking care of my mother at her place, i see no other way out of my conundrum as a first generation immigrant.
Problem is i used it as an excuse to give up learning to get laid, because i didn't wanna multitask.
And since i didn't have my own place anyway, i figured my logistics were too shit to pick up chicks anyway.
It seemed logical at the time but i greatly underestimated the challenges of building a successful business.
Truth is if i didn't put GLL on hold back in 2014 or so, id be slaying hot pussy for years now.
I've made a HUGE mistake, and it only hit me after finally quitting porn for good, 85 days clean.
My sex drive is coming back hard and i have no sexual outlet except hookers and im not made of money.
I'm 29 now, and im not gonna live a single day of my 30's "waiting" to start getting chicks.
I'm gonna at the very least work on my looks, do the drills, and talk to random girls to stay sharp.
i got all the dating apps and gonna try to improve my pics as best i can.
Not having my own place is my biggest handicap, but im not gonna use it as an excuse anymore
It fuckin KILLS me that im a 29 year old man without my own place, but the economic situation is really fuked up, especially NYC.
i had a job for 6 months making 50k a year, and i still only made 1350 a check every 2 weeks, the taxes were insane.
and it was a shitty sedentary stressful as fuck technical IT type job, i got fired for sleeping eventually.
but i did bring a bartender back to the office at 11pm and fucked her in front of my workstations, i hope noone checks the cameras LOL
that was the highlight of my short career there.
Was shitty mental state today cause stayed up all night til l 7am, woke up 1pm and had shit to do already, most of day gone.
but i pushed through asked 5 chicks for the time anyway while getting groceries.
Was at vet today with my cat, and veterinarian assistant was cute, we were alone in the room and i wanted to say hey ur cute what's your name, but at the same time i didn't wanna do it.
I wasn't anxious or anything, in fact i was feeling pretty relaxed but i did and didn't want to hit on her at the same time. it started frustrating me so i ended up doing nothing.
It's like my brain was saying now's not the time to hit on chicks its time to focus on business, but that's such bullshit though, how does me telling her she's cute prevent me from working on my goals.
It's all very silly ima get over this. Even typing this out now is helping me.
I gotta start waking up early and getting shit done, gotta make myself proud of myself.
If i don't feel good about myself i just can't pick up chicks at all.
also i think my brain is still recovering from porn addiction, my sex drive is a bit random, sometimes i wake up with no erection for days, then boom i get 3 wet dreams in a row and i can't even concentrate because i wanna fuck a chick so bad.
i ended up going to an escort 2 days ago because i was truly suffering sexual frustration lol, but im gonna really try to stop doing that and channel that sexual energy towards cold approach.
its WAY more enjoyable going up to chicks if im fuckin horny as fuck, its like the most natural motivator.
i thought today would be a relative crappy one but boy did i turn it around at the very end!
so did few time drills, one directions drill before work. at work i was feeling pretty down for some reason, i just couldn't mentally and physically relax.
i even saw from a distance the chick i told was the sexiest worker and got a little bit of anxiety at the possibility of bumping into her again.
so this went on for 3 hours, then i took a break and napped for 20 minutes in the break area.
for some reason that shit changed my entire mood, i felt nice and relaxed and was vibing and smiling at everyone.
At the end of my shift, i was buying some things and i saw the sexiest worker chick at the self cash out area assisting people, so im like this is it i gotta get in there and say something.
My anxiety started building up, i felt it bulding and at that moment something snapped in my mind, i was like "im dont care if i get fired, dont care if i die, i dont give a fuck what happens next, ima go up and talk to this chick and tell her shes hot"
and so this made me feel tremendous sense of peace, like ive accepted any potential outcome and all my anxiety was gone, cause i just gave 0 fucks at that point, i truly didn't care wat would happen.
so i go over there, scan my items, she comes over, and im like "heyy its the sexiest worker",
she started smiling saying "i bet you say that to all the girls", ima like "naw youre the best" and squeezed her side with my hand for a second, and she didn't freak out or nothing lol. I asked her name(Samantha), then told her mine, shook her hand said nice to meet her, and thats it really lol. she said goodnight as i left.
I didn't get a phone number or nothing but i dont care, i can't remember the last time i had this kind of interaction with an attractive woman.
So win for me.
On the subway since i was still riding high of this, i did 2 more direction drills.
I even ask kinda silly question, like "Hey do you know if this train goes to Nostrand Ave", "Have you ever been to Nostrand Ave" LOL one chick laughed she's like yea i lived there lol
anyway feels good, sense of entitlement felt oddly high, felt like i had more balls than any dudes around me anyway wtf should i be nervous about lol
but its all in good fun, i seem to do a lot better when im in a happy playful mood.
I hate being serious, it feels silly to me, like what are you so serious for ur just some guy, take it easy and relax lol
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