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Alright, I've already said more than I need to in my introduction so I'm ready to it. As of right now I'm starting the AA program seriously. I completed the first week of AA drills a couple weeks ago to get a feel for it, but didn't go further. I'm starting over from day 2 now, this time with an account, journal, online dating profile, and some real accountability. Thanks to doing them before, today's drills really were not hard, with a sense of 'I've done this before' that I'll hopefully have towards hitting on girls after this program.
-Completed the day 5 drills, approached 15 girls.
-Completed the day 6 drills, approached 15 girls.
Today I went out and did the day 5 drills. I was pretty comfortable while doing it but there were not a lot of girls around when I tried to do it faster so I did an extra 5. I took a break for a while and decided to move on to the next drill today since the first one went way faster than I expected. Ended up approaching a total of 30 girls today which is blowing my mind in hindsight since I've never done anything close to that before. Walked back home really feeling the social momentum from executing so many drills, it kind of feels like a runners high. One thing I did notice was that I was way less comfortable approaching girls when there were a lot of people around. Not when the girls are in a group, but when there are other bystanders around. Not sure why, but it I am much more nervous when I feel like random strangers are watching what I am doing and judging me. Going to have to be very deliberate on getting in there immediately regardless of who is around tomorrow.
-Completed the day 7 drills, approached 15 girls.
Did the drills as instructed today, and I'm fairly satisfied with how I did. I could have done a bit better about just getting in there on some of them, but on the whole I didn't really experience much anxiety after talking to the first girl. It was actually kind of boring and methodical at times. I've already noticed massive improvement and it definitely stems from repeating week 1. Now that I've done day s 4 through 7 twice I feel I have a strong foundation and am actually excited to take it to the next level.
In other news, so far Tinder and OkCupid have resulted in nothing except 1 match who never replied. Earlier this week however I got a girls number from my class and got coffee with her today. She's interested in a second date so things are looking pretty good. However it plays out, experience is experience, so at least I'm getting more of that. Week 2 here we go!
-Completed the day 8 drills, approached 20 girls.
Today was a grind. Not a lot of girls out so I had to do a ton of laps just to find one. Didn't do perfectly on just getting in there so I will probably repeat this drill. Had to repeat the last drill in the set several times when the girl hadn't been there, so I ended up approaching more girls than the minimum. The "do you like it" part was super awkward, but by the end I was so sick of doing laps and drills I just stopped giving a fuck about the interactions making any sense. At least it's progress.
-Completed the day 9 drills, approached 15 girls.
Another grind today, but better than yesterday. Did better at just getting in there, even though there were not many girls out. My first set had negative reactions from girls just blowing my approach off. I'm actually kinda happy about that since I didn't lose steam and wasn't as bothered by it as I imagined. But hey, not that important, I did the drills and I'm happy with my execution today. This was despite my anxiety raging the whole time, sweaty palms and shaking the whole way. At least I'm still moving forward.
Day 8 (again):
-Repeated day 8 drills, approached 16 girls.
Although I completed the day 8 drills, I didn't really fulfill the spirit of 'getting the fuck in there' when I did it and let too many girls slip by. Today I actually got in there without letting girls pass by and got the drill done way faster. It helped that it was a busier day out. Now that the drill has been done to standard I feel ready to tackle level 2.
-Completed the day 10 drills, approached 15 girls.
-Completed the day 11 drills, approached 20 girls.
Completed two sets of drills today since I had the time and there were a lot of girls out. Ended up talking to 35+ girls (some ran off before I could finish all the questions haha). Felt very little anxiety as I built momentum and it actually started to be a little fun as it went. I also didn't pussy out as much and did a better job getting in there. Still, not perfect though since I'm still finding I hesitate when the area is super crowded however. The idea of other people watching me approach girls is somehow more intimidating than the actual approach. Still got a long way to go.
-Did 1 set of the day 12 drills, approached 4 girls.
Took a half day today. Not enough girls out to complete the drills. In part this was because I went out to coffee with a girl I whose number I got the other day and didn't get started till later. Will finish the rest tomorrow.
Day 12b -13:
-Completed the remaining day 12 drills, approached 12 girls.
-Completed the day 13 drills, approached 16 girls.
Today went well for the most part. Just did the drills. The thought of tomorrows high five drill was really intimidating to me as I was coming home, so I tried it on a couple girls and found it wasn't so bad. Feel like I'm slowly making progress.
-Completed the day 14 drills, high fived 20 girls.
I finished the drill but I'm not too happy with my performance today. The first set of 10 I did in about 15 minutes, but I did let some girls slip by. The second set I psyched myself out after the first three girls I tried high fiving just gave me weird looks instead. I didn't end up having much momentum today and let myself get in my head. One thing that got me was I just felt like a poser, like I didn't have a right to be doing this because I'm not that outgoing and confident guy (yet). Also I still am struggling to get over the fear of being noticed doing these drills. I'm going to repeat this day tomorrow, until I can do the drills without hesitating and overthinking it.
Anyone have any insight into how go about embracing being seen by others rather than being intimidated by it?
Day 14 (repeat):
-Did not complete the day 14 drills, only high fived 10 girls.
Got sick over the weekend and did not do any drills. Tried again today despite feeling like shit. Didn't go so well, still psyching myself out and letting girls go by without getting in there. Getting over the outcome dependence feels much harder for high fives for some reason, maybe because it feels so out of character for me to high five random strangers. It's harder to shrug off a stranger's negative reaction when you know you're being a weirdo. Walking up and talking feels more natural to me personally. Kinda dreading week 3 & 4 and all that Mr. Funny Man shit. Anyways, have to get over this hurdle first, so I'll just try it again.
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