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Day 52b completed
Had 1 set left did it pretty easily. I came in today after realising that my AA progress may not be that applicable in my real life so i was still a little unmotivated and disheartened. Decided just to do approaches the rest of the day didnt feel like drilling. Got two numbers which is cool, the girls werent that attractive but the interaction was pretty good so that was cool. Lacking sleep too so mood is a bit shit today in general.
When i got back home i had to go grocery store so i decided id force myself to make an approach if the opportunity arose. Fuck i was nervous. Like whole body nervous. The store was super empty but i managed to find a girl that was approachable and got it done. The interaction sucked because of my nerves. Heres what happend-
“Hey, i know this is random, but i thought you were cute and i wanted to say hi”
Girl- smiles laughs, “oh thanks”
“What are you up to”
Girl- “just going to get some snacks”
“Oh cool... could i get your number?”
Girl- smiling “no sorry i have a boyfriend”
“Alright cool have a good day”
Cold and clunky as fuck hahah. This was a girl i definetly wouldnt be nervous approaching in the city but i literally froze and had nothing to say to further the convo lol. After leaving thoughts filled my head like- omg what if that chick gets hired at my work, what if she knows my friends, what if i see her out and she brings it up infront of everyone. Overdramatic i know, but at this point i cant help but have these thoughts. Also i kinda felt like a desperate weirdo and had shame because literally no one in my life knows ive been doing this. Anyways, stoked i didnt bitch out.
Need help though boys. I need a rock solid scaffold of how to lead a convo to the point of asking for a number. Obviously i wont use it all the time but it would be helpful to fall back on when nerves are too high. If anyone can help me out with suggestions thatd be awesome
Cheers guys. Might try another approach over the weekend, if not ill cyas all monday.
soggy biscuit wrote: After leaving thoughts filled my head like- omg what if that chick gets hired at my work, what if she knows my friends, what if i see her out and she brings it up infront of everyone. Overdramatic i know, but at this point i cant help but have these thoughts. Also i kinda felt like a desperate weirdo and had shame because literally no one in my life knows ive been doing this. Anyways, stoked i didnt bitch out
Lol, nice. Those thoughts are normal at first. But trust me if you keep at it, you'll get to the point where you're not insecure at all.
These days when people ask me what I did with my day I just tell them "I went to the mall to go hit on girls". And these are coworkers too, people I see all the time. Occasionally you'll get a "Wait, what?". But in the end nobody really cares. Just like you only vaguely care what they do with their day.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.
Shit effort today. I got a late start and went to the mall ive done alot of drilling at. Figured id focus on doing real approaches today because that feels like the best practice to apply to my real life. Got 3 real approaches done in the space of 40 minutes- not alot of girls within my demographic out today. Got a live number off the first girl i approached. Wasnt nervous at all but she was probably below my league so not overly excited. At this point im wondering if the most productive thing for me to do is to continue just doing approaches or finish the AA drills? I find the drills good to build momentum, but they havent necessarily helped me to learn to carry conversations and ask for numbers. Am considering maybe doing a day tomorrow where i revisit the final rep of everyday from week 6&7. Let me know what u guys recommend. Cheers boys cyas then.
Today i was in the city and figured i would do some more approaches but do them in grocery stores because i believe that’ll be one of the main places ill do approaches in my everyday life. Definitely bitched out of a-lot of opportunities but was able to get 7 approaches done in the space of like 90 minutes (in a city at multiple grocery stores).
First girl- approached her at bus stop. Was awkward and talking too quiet at first i think. Did the usual opener and asked what shes up to, if its her first year of uni, told her what im doing today. Asked for number but she said she had a bf. My ability to go 0-100 is still lacking i think.
Second girl- approqched her in grocery store. Made slightly awkward convo about what cereal she should get, asked where shes from (she asked me to guess), she asked my aged then asked me to guess hers (same age) then asked what shes up to. I asked for her number but she had an international number so i took her insta. Not going to chase it up she wasnt displaying much interest
Third girl- approached her in the street, by this time i was confident. Made really good convo with this girl. She had a weird accent so i asked her about it, slightly teased it but she loved it. She thanked me for approching her. Got her number but she was flying out in the afternoon so no real point in pursuing
Fourth girl- approached in grocery store. Asked about her accent again haha. Talked about canada, if shes liking city so far, what shes doing today. Kinda felt like i was interviewing her which sucked. Got number but she had to think about it and wasnt too excited about it. Hasnt responded so i think its a fake number or shes just not interested
Fifth girl- Approched her in a grocery store. Pretty smooth pleasant interaction, spoke about what shes up to. Asked for number but she said she had a boyfriend
Sixth girl- grocery store. Pretty pleasant girl but i felt a little awkward making convo about what shes purchasing haha- lame! She said she had a boyfriend but was still real nice and wished me a good day. Cheers lady haha
Seventh girl- approached in grocery store. Usual opener (thought u were cute ect.) and she basically looked at me like i was fucking retarded and kept walking. I just said “your welcome have a nice day” apologetically. To make it worse there was someone standing behind me to witness the rejection so i left feeling super disheartened. Walking out i felt like quitting this entire thing. But later on i also thought fuck that bitch for making me feel like that. I know its not her responsibility to coddle my feelings but same time i just thought she was lame for how she reacted to a compliment. Hated the fact that i was so apologetic in that moment, wish i said nevermind i was just kidding or somthin
After today it really didnt feel this will ever work out for me. If i had a day like today in my hometown im not sure how i would react and if i could even take it. Sure i can recognise that im actually doing approaches now, but without the results to back it up im just a creepy weirdo and cant really justify continuing to put myself through this. Am i going about this wrong? I dunno how much more of this i can take tbh.
Hey dude just some quick tips, your way further than me in the program but just thought I'd share some things. Firstly I've noticed that body language/voice and tonality and eye contact plays a huge roll, what u say doesn't fucking matter. I've done some of the stupid drills while maintaining strong body language good eye contact and focusing on keeping my voice calm and deep and the girls usually stick around even if I'm doing some rediculus "Who is ur daddy" game. It's a lot easier said than done but what I do to practice body language and tonality is mainly meditation. I also read a couple of pages from a book (the same pages each time) out loud for my self, is I'm doing it I focus on keeping my Pace slow and steady, trying to find my "masculine energy" . It doesn't always work since some days ur mind is somewhere else but when it does it feels much better approaching. Ur mind is sort of centered at sex and the girls notice it.
Also try working on it posture and how u walk a little, when I dress good/have good posture and keep my head up I noticed girls throwing looks or even the classic double look at me. Sometimes if they're young they actually stare. These kind of girls are a lot more likely to like you since it makes the interaction a "tepid approach", she had already displayed some interest or given you a signal if you will. The difference is that when you just randomly walk up to a girl, most of the time she hasn't even noticed you yet so she's caught of guard and might not be comfortable with the approach. I know this from talking to some girl friend of mine, they say that if the want a guy to approach they have to be "ready". They need to be on the lookout, give the signal ( eye contact) and then they want you to approach. I'm not saying cold approach won't work but as a lot of guys say int this forum there's a lot of approaches to be done until it works. Personally I've found that when I see a "signal" from a girl it makes me the most nervous so I'm trying to get that out of my system. But the few times I've approached after making eye contact and or smiling, even though I didn't close ( doing drills) the vibe and sexual tension was huge. The girls where staring me in eyes, giggling and acting like they wanted some dick.
In short, keep ya head up, walk tall and make eye contact, then you approach
Been a bit since I been on GLL since I was in relationship so not sure what’s preached around here these days but once u beat AA the biggest factor by far that will determine your success in cold approach are your looks (face, height, style, physique)
Above avg is fine and will get u so so/inconsistent results but most guys that succeeded in the end are the ones that put in tremendous efforts in the looks department to become exceptional.
If u r not getting results cold approaching it’s 90% your looks. U won’t believe how “bad” your approach can be when u r good looking
Btw don’t worry about 1 number in 7 approaches. When I used to keep track of stats and shit I got number like every 3-4 girls but remember vividly 2 instances when I went 16 and 21 approaches in a row of rejection. It happens but i get it, its extra hard at the beginning when u r just starting.
@arianke thanks man. Yeh it is easy to forget that u gotta dictate the interaction with ur energy- something that actually does really make a difference. At times when im in a shit mood ill be cognisant not to let it make the interraction shit. Cheers
Im pretty decent looking. I think the biggest thing for me (and most guys) now is to just drop some body fat (id say im around 15%). Im also going to start working on myself beyond just cold approach. I think this will give me more of a sense of entitlement and confidence in my interactions because i wont just feel like the guy whos creepin at the mall to talk to girls. Cheers man i agree, on days when i look my best my reactions are always the best.
Shiit day today. I went to a mall and focused on making approaches. Only approched two girls- first was in a rush to work so didnt ask for the number. 2nd was with a friend and both had boyfriend. Not alot of girls to approach so i lost my patience and left within 30 minutes. When i got home i had to go to the mall to run errands. Passed up multiple opportunities because i just didn’t feel i looked my best. Very disappointing. Tomorrow and friday im back on the drills to try and break this cold streak- less focusing on approaches. Im hoping if im able to drop some weight (im 5’8 150lb) and improve my looks itll build up my sense of entitlement a little more in the future so i CAN start making more approaches. But for right now im just not confident enough and my AA is returning. FUCK. Cyas tomorrow.
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