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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
I can't do the first drill

TOPIC: I can't do the first drill

I can't do the first drill 03 Jan 2020 18:13 #325163

You could add in a pre-drills drill by doing something like just holding eye contact and saying hello to strangers passing in the street. I bet if you do that 20 times following up with "Hello - do you have the time?" won't be so bad, and there you go.


I can do it on non-attractive girls.
but the momentum I gained with this didn't help to do the drills on attractive girls.

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Last edit: by Watermelon.

I can't do the first drill 03 Jan 2020 20:32 #325166

I think you should get in to a see a psychotherapist!

You've put a really, really good effort in. WAY more than I was expecting when I asked.

You're obviously tough and dedicated. Respect. But, I think you may have something deeper going on. Not being able to ask an attractive girl for the time, after 10+ attempts is definitely MORE anxiety than is normal or healthy.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

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I can't do the first drill 03 Jan 2020 21:20 #325167

I couldn't do drills on attractive girls unti like 20 days into the program. Start doing it on *any* girls, and when you're about 10 days in, start hitting on a few "cute" girls. 5 days later, do some "very cute" girls. Eventually do "hot/sexy" girls too.

One step at a time.
Andy / 32yo / Australia
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety
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Possible therapy 04 Jan 2020 05:52 #325176

I think therapy could help. Sometimes things in our past hold us back and it's not always immediately obvious and sometimes an outsider who isn't emotionally tied to it can lend ideas.

It's funny i would have more anxiety asking 5 girls in front of eachothers what time it is than asking out 5 girls all in front of eachothers and getting rejected. But one of them i have done the other i haven't.

Another thing is to not think about it but to just do it. Easier said then done. But if you just think your asking for the time the fact she's attractive had no bearing could help. But it's much easier said then done. But you are trying harder than hell.
Till the end of 2020

Work around lockdown and bang my apt neighbor
get a sales job either locally or out of state in Texas
Finish my shit and do the best I can in No Nut NOvember
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Last edit: by JacobPalmer123.

I can't do the first drill 04 Jan 2020 19:49 #325196

Respect on trying this hard. That’s a lot of anxiety though man. I actually would go see a therapist or something.

If it helps, i felt the first drill was probably the “hardest.” Once you get it down, moving up the program becomes easier.
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-app...-aa-journal?start=24 AA journal

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Goals:

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2. Move to San Diego
3. Get shredded for July photo shoot.
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I can't do the first drill 07 Jan 2020 06:47 #325290

Update?
Andy / 32yo / Australia
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety
140+ lays / 14 threesomes / 1 foursome (MFFF)
KillYourInnerLoser.com

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I can't do the first drill 13 Jan 2020 17:28 #325628

Bad Idea Bear wrote: I think you should get in to a see a psychotherapist!

You've put a really, really good effort in. WAY more than I was expecting when I asked.

You're obviously tough and dedicated. Respect. But, I think you may have something deeper going on. Not being able to ask an attractive girl for the time, after 10+ attempts is definitely MORE anxiety than is normal or healthy.


I've been seeing a therapist for the last 4-5 months (not because of this issue, but we talk about this)

And I'm considering starting a second therapy that specializes in phobias / social anxiety.

Funny thing is... my anxiety is more like an avoidance syndrome. It's so shitty.
You know what else is funny, I just started doing salsa classes... and I'm not feeling ANY anxiety or nervousness or anything when dancing with girls... so wtf? (but hey, if I have to go to any of these girls and talk to them with the intention of dating/getting laid... I don't think I can't do it, haven't tried yet)

I couldn't do drills on attractive girls unti like 20 days into the program. Start doing it on *any* girls, and when you're about 10 days in, start hitting on a few "cute" girls. 5 days later, do some "very cute" girls. Eventually do "hot/sexy" girls too.


that's very interesting, I haven't thought about this approach.

---

so, you wanted an update. I took 2-3 days off and went back to it... but I'm still stuck. The moment I see an opportunity to do the drill, my mind and body go full "avoidance mode" and I just lose it.


I'm going to try doing drills on not attractive girls, maybe that helps...

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I can't do the first drill 13 Jan 2020 19:25 #325629

Hit me up for coaching, man. $25 for your first 30min session. You don't have to see me more than once if money is tight. There's something wrong here, but none of us can pinpoint it without talking to you for a bit. PM me.

If you don't want to do that, then just ask ANYONE - man, woman, ugly woman, etc - for the time. Repeat that 30 times. Report back.
Andy / 32yo / Australia
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety
140+ lays / 14 threesomes / 1 foursome (MFFF)
KillYourInnerLoser.com

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Last edit: by KillYourInnerLoser.

I can't do the first drill 13 Jan 2020 22:04 #325634

Andy has some great advice there.

Another option is to bring a buddy with you (one who is a freak like us) and do it together.

The rules of the AA program require you to complete each drill alone, for obvious reasons. However, if you need a boost to get to the point where you can do that, I see no reason why you can't bring a friend and turn it into a fun thing.
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!

So long, and thanks for all the fish!
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I can't do the first drill 16 Jan 2020 19:45 #325752

So I managed to do time+directions.
Didn't have anxiety in the sense of "oh my stomach hurts, oh I'm sweating, oh I can't think clearly".

However, I had the thought of "doing this is weird".

And it's the same thought I have whenever I want to approach a girl and set my intentions straight, I find it like it's weird!

But hey, at least is something. I did on a variety of women, so no qualms there.
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I can't do the first drill 16 Jan 2020 20:36 #325754

Yes it's fucking weird talking to strangers. Most people don't do it. But we're not here to be "most people" - we're here to be exceptional people.

Keep pushing.
Andy / 32yo / Australia
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety
140+ lays / 14 threesomes / 1 foursome (MFFF)
KillYourInnerLoser.com
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I can't do the first drill 06 Feb 2020 19:42 #326386

Watermelon wrote: So I managed to do time+directions.
Didn't have anxiety in the sense of "oh my stomach hurts, oh I'm sweating, oh I can't think clearly".

However, I had the thought of "doing this is weird".

And it's the same thought I have whenever I want to approach a girl and set my intentions straight, I find it like it's weird!

But hey, at least is something. I did on a variety of women, so no qualms there.


Hey man I've had the exact same issue as you. Even though I've been on more than 200 online dates, banged enough women for it not to be a major issue and work a pretty social job, it took me 5 HOURS to complete the first drill and even that was extremely difficult.

I don't have a solution to offer you I'm afraid. Some people's brains are just wired differently. Many PUA guys can just spam approach women because they don't seem to have been born with the same inhibitory mechanisms in the brain that we have. Have you found the therapy helped at all?

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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
I can't do the first drill
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