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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
I can't do the first drill
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TOPIC: I can't do the first drill

I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 16:23 #324415

Hey! I started the AA program 2 weeks ago and I can't even do the first drill (asking for the time).

I don't feel super nervous or anxious, it's just that I can't... do it.

I don't know how to describe it, but I encountered several opportunities and I just get stuck-paralyzed.

I know that's AA... but how the hell I'm supposed to improve if I can't even do the first drill?

Any advice to get past this?

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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 19:38 #324418

Try asking a male or an old woman for the time.

If you can’t even do that, you probably have serious general anxiety and should probably seek treatment.
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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 19:48 #324419

I got stuck too - I pussied out so many times asking for the time. It was so insanely weird. I talked about it in my AA log:
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-app...loser-aa-vlog#219815

Quote:
"- Tried the "asking girls for the time" thing just as a test. I kept making excuses for each chick, "Can't ask her she's on the phone. Oh that chick is with her boyfriend I can't ask her. Those chicks are talking, it'd be rude to interrupt."
- I realised these excuses were fucking bullshit... and I've been making these excuses MY WHOLE LIFE. It's the reason I've never hit on any chicks.
- I FORCED myself to just ask for the time and it got fucking insanely easy. Did like 15 in a row in the space of like 10 minutes, some people even saw me ask multiple people but I didn't really care
- Something I didn't mention in the vid: I had to GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO INCONVENIENCE PEOPLE. Yes, it might be "rude" to interrupt someone who's on the phone. So fucking what. I have the right to be rude/inconvenience them.
- I'm fucking ready to do this AA program. I'm terrified beyond belief, but: "If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for."


Here's your solution:

Go out today and think about this: imagine you were running late for an appointment. But you forgot your watch and phone. You NEED to know the time, like right fucking now. What would you do?

You'd just grab someone and be like "Yo I need the time please!!!!!!"
Andy / 32yo / Australia
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Last edit: by KillYourInnerLoser.

I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 20:13 #324420

How many times have you gone out and tried?
Count: 106 (30 from cold approach since finding GLL)

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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 20:50 #324424

Ohh looks like I cannot multiquote or quote several people right?
Well, I'm just gonna @ at you

Markvegas: I have no trouble asking dudes, or older women.. or unnatractive girls. My real deal is asking the cute babes or chicks I'm at least a bit attracted to.

In fact, I tried gaining some social momentum asking a bunch of random people for the time... but still haven't managed to traslate that to the cute girls! haha

killtheinnerloser: You know, it's funny because I have no negative thoughts or mental chatter at the moment of doing this! I have no qualms agains interrumpting them... it's just that for some weird reason (AA), when I encounter a girl that is at least A TINY BIT attractive then I freeze.

I'm gonna try what you said though, maybe it's my mindset.

Bear: I went everyday for the last 16 days. On weekdays 1-2hs and on weekends 3-4hs.

I even tried standing on a street corner and damn... I see those girls and I lose control (I can't move).
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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 21:08 #324425

Just keep trying. You haven't failed no matter how many times you get stuck doing a particular drill. You only fail if you quit.
Andy / 32yo / Australia
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety
PM me for 1-on-1 counseling

130+ lays / 10 threesomes
Latest article: I Give You Permission to be Honest

Currently working on: Writing a Tinder Guide

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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 21:42 #324428

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Ohh looks like I cannot multiquote or quote several people right?

Well yes you can. Paste the text you want to quote, select it, then find a 'quote' button above the text field. It will do the rest.


Not an expert on beating anxiety or aproaching, but if its this hard at this stage maybe get a wingman? You may feel more motivated knowing he will watch you.
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I can't do the first drill 11 Dec 2019 23:55 #324429

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Hey man, if it makes you feel better, I felt the same as you the first time I tried the drills, it took me like an hour to get 5 in. Also, I once took a buddy of mine out to do the first drill of the AA program. He told me he thought it was a stupid exercise and he felt he could do it easily. On the day of, he could not do it at all, even though I was there with him. Even 2 weeks into the program, asking for the time will become so trivial to you that you'll question why you ever even posted this. Just keep trying.

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Last edit: by 1v1meKid.

I can't do the first drill 12 Dec 2019 00:14 #324430

My first day I couldn’t do it either and I bitched out. I don’t really have social anxiety either (maybe a bit if I stay inside and don’t talk to anyone for like a month).

You got this mufucka! GET IN THERE BOIII
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I can't do the first drill 12 Dec 2019 01:49 #324436

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You just have to make a leap of faith and do it
AA program: Day 42/64
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-app...oach-anxiety-journal
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I can't do the first drill 12 Dec 2019 02:29 #324438

You could add in a pre-drills drill by doing something like just holding eye contact and saying hello to strangers passing in the street. I bet if you do that 20 times following up with "Hello - do you have the time?" won't be so bad, and there you go.
Goals:
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Last edit: by NowOrNeva.

I can't do the first drill 03 Jan 2020 18:11 #325162

Hello everyone, thanks for your answers.
I kept going out... everyday. For 1-3hs.

I still can't do the first drill.

I tried relaxing myself as much as I can (I did this several days). I manage to relax and don't feel anxiety or anything (I do a special relaxation exercise on the street in crowded avenues)...

but when it comes to start doing the drills... I lose control.

I lose control of my mind and body. I can't take decisions. My body and mind says "no, let's go home, no i'm not interested in doing this, what's the point?" and I can't do anything. I can't take control.

... is there some kind of... I don't know, some easier drills?
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I can't do the first drill
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