This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
Wazzup guys, this day was weird. I had a lot of anxiety and had a hard time finishing the drill. I couldn't bring myself to ask the last question, just the thought of it made me cringe hard. When I did it though, I found it super funny.
Most of girls were nice, some were super lovely and helpful and I can't remember any bad reaction. I know I shouldn't really care about the reactions but I tend to assume they'll be rude/reject me so it's good to remind myself it's rarely the case.
I've noticed a few safety behaviours I tend to fall into:
1) I tend to prefer girls that are not on the go (largely because it's easier to ask all the questions when they're not rushing anywhere but a good chunk of this 'preference' is the discomfort linked to trying to stop them and the fact that I think I often don't come off strong enough for them to feel like they need to stop; it may be this or maybe I'm just overthinking this and it's simply about the girl and her availability
2) I often feel the need to fill in the silence
3) I don't make eye contact - I'll try to improve on this one next time.
I think what might have added to my anxiety is that I went to a mall today and I feel less anonymous than in a street and potentially watched (by the security guys). What might have increased my struggles today even more is my sleep or lack thereof. Just waking down a street before doing the drills I had some random and socially anxious thoughts out of the blue. I really need to fix this shit.
Tomorrow I might take a break but idk yet. Anyway, I'll probably repeat today's drill at some point - not sure if during the next session because I really want to get to the high five drill (I feel like it'll target one of my major anxieties, drawing attention, really well).
I've been having a crappy couple of days. My eat and sleep are completely messed up and my anxiety and depression levels are heightened. Today there was a band I really like playing near me but i didn't even feel motivated to go, all I wanted was to chill and sleep. Then I took a nap and regretted missing the band. Anyway, I'll try to handle my sleep because I feel kind of mentally unstable right now and I don't feel like I'm in a good place to proceed. I might try and do the drills during the following days but idk honestly.
I've also been thinking that I should probably take it slower. I've realised that even though I managed to force myself to go through these 12 days, I'll probably need to go back a bit. I feel like I may have a somewhat bigger social anxiety problem than a lot of guys here, since, honestly, it's been twelve days and I still feel uncomfortable asking for time.
I know it sounds pretty defeatist but I'm not giving up, I just need to reassess where I am.
We've all been there. Where we feel that anxiety never runs out and it's always stuck there.
The thing is, that the more you embrace your anxiety the more it will run out from your physiology.
I still remember 3 years ago my first approach, my heart was pounding. Felt like almost dying. Fast foward to last weekend I was in London and did in 2 days over 40 approaches and got laid. 0 hesitation.
My point is, keep pushing yourself. If I can do it, you too. But make sure that you are also taking care of the base like your looks, gym, diet...etc
OK guys, it was really hard but I did it. I didn't have that strong of a frame but still I'm glad I pushed through resistance and took these steps to finally get over the AA.
I got kind of exhausted over time and my frame and demeanor got weaker. In the beginning though I acted quite calm and I've noticed it works much better - both when it comes to the people's reactions and to my internal state, I feel pride of the way I handled it. I think it's part of my problem with many approaches I do. I let the anxiety influence my behaviour and that behaviour influences how I judge myself.
I also did some extra asking for time. As noted in my previous post, I don't yet feel fully comfortable with it. I think next time I may try doing just this for an hour or so straight until I'm completely at ease in order to have a more solid base.
Dekk, I really appreciate your message. I think the part that brought me down so much in the first place was my atrocious sleep so tomorrow I'm going to buy some melatonin to help me regulate it over the coming weeks (now I can't sleep until 7-8am). These drills can get hard indeed but I'll keep pushing while trying to fix the basics. To be honest, I have a hard time embracing anxiety, because it really influences my behaviour but I'll do my best not to beat myself up for it.
What's up bois! I have been silent for quite a while but I'm back! I've been feeling a bit down recently, so for the most part I was off the AA Program, just asking for time/directions occasionally to maintain some gains. Finally, I felt like I could do day 14 without getting PTSD. It took me 4 attempts to just do 10 high-fives. On one of them I did just one and met my friends a moment later and hanged out with them instead.
Today I finally managed to muster the courage, after walking around for 1 hour. I decided to warm up for the high fives, cause it felt quite challenging. While walking, I raised my arm in the air 5x for 3 secs, just to confront the fear of people around without the fear of rejection - I'd recommend it to others struggling with the drill, baby-step this thing
Then, I did 10 high fives in around 90 minutes. This one is really tough for me, but doing high fives is actually fun. I'd say 40-50% of reactions were positive, some girls seemed almost creeped out, which influenced me a bit. I'm pretty proud of the fact that I did 3 2-sets of girls, high-fiving both of them (I always find groups of girls super intimidating). Overall, the exercise felt weird as well, due to the contrast between the positive nature of the activity and the gaping void within me lol. The drill lifted my mood a bit though. At times, I actually felt like it was slightly expanding my personality.
Hey Zayn, really glad to see your support. Will do my best not to fail you, bro ;>
I don't have that much time now to do the drills cause I need to write essays for uni and I can't put them off anymore. Here's the most recent update.
I managed to do 8 more high fives over the past 3 days. One of them was on the NYE, 7 today. I've got an easier time 'getting in there' - it took me around 20 minutes of walking around on NYE and literally 3 minutes today. Today, after the initial high five, it took me 11 mins to get 6 more. Quite an amazing result for me. Since I don't have much time right now and was forced to do it in the meantime, I had to finish before completing the exercise, so there's still 3 more (I'm not gonna count the one I did on NYE and then just add these 11 minutes to however long it takes to get the remaining 3 high fives for day 15).
I've noticed that creeped out reactions are mostly when I go through this internal struggle till the very last moment or I'm really afraid of sticking out and then suddenly decide at the very last moment to go for the high five. When I embrace that I'm there doing motherfucking high fives, I tend to go for them in a much more open way and the reactions, even though surprised, are much better. One girl even seemed like she was hoping I'd talk to her, cause she was so happy and just stood there until I said 'have a good one'. God, 30 more days to start approaching seemed like too much at that moment but I didn't follow through and just left her. Overall, I actually start to dig this drill, even though I was dreading it for such a long time.
Had an epiphany recently, which was partially sparked by the drill. I've been quite depressed for the past 4-5 years, I've been somewhat melancholic since at least the end of the primary school (~10 years ago by now). But I've noticed that this depression has progressively taken over my life and personality. This exercise helped me realise that not only I can be a guy that brings some joy and positivity to the table and not only do I want to bring them but it's also still somewhere underneath, though maybe forgotten - I'm not all this brooding guy, I also could be quite positive and charismatic and it's still a part of me, however buried. I'll try to bring it more to the light, because I simply don't want to be this negative fuck. I hope this entry will remind me that when I spiral downwards again.
Final update. 3 high-fives yesterday. Had a substantially harder time than the day before probably because my overall mood is lower. Still, took me 30 minutes today to get in there and then ~10 minutes to do these 3 high-fives - quite an improvement to not doing anything at all or just asking for time and directions all the time.
I would probably redo this drill but since day 15 is basically the same, just amped up a bit, I'll move on. I'm just a bit worried about the amount of time I can dedicate at the moment (due to uni workload), lots of days off or doing just a few sets once I go out. Still, it's probably better than doing nothing at all and will allow me to jump all in more easily once I'm done with writing my essays.
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.