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The last 2 days have been a bit busy. I still managed to do the exercises, I just didn't have time to update, so here it is:
It was pretty easy, I'm able to ask most women for the time, I just sometimes pussy out when they look quite bitchy. I was mostly worried about 2 things: 1) people around thinking I'm a weirdo for spam-asking about the time; 2) women I'd already asked seeing me asking again. The latter actually probably happened, as I saw two girls (they were friends) I asked laugh a bit between themselves after passing me when I was asking another girl. It might be just me projecting my fear but I felt a bit ashamed about it for a moment and brushed it off.
The first attempt took me 9, the second 7 minutes. I probably coul've done it a bit quicker but, again, I felt the same fears as on day 4 - of the judgement of people around me and of the girls I already asked. It's interesting, because a part of me imagined these girls being somewhat hurt by being bothered without a real reason, if that makes sense. As if I felt bad about my intention of "using" them to become better, as if they were being lied to by me.
Another reason I didn't do it as fast as I could is because, twice, when I approached a girl she was creeped out and started walking faster as if I was about to harm them or sth. That was during the first attempt and it made me feel like a creep a bit. It might've been a cultural thing because both of them were East Asians. Or they just were both extremely shy, who knows. Next time, I'll try to remember that 'Any women that won't give you "what time it is" has problems far worse than you do' and not feel discouraged if something like that happens again. After all - 10/12 ladies I apprached were cool and helpful.
Ok, I didn't really like it. It took over an hour and more than 20 approaches to complete. Asking for the time was OK. Time + directions a bit harder. But that last part felt really weird for me. Firstly, large part of the girls were 'on the go', and seemed to be wanting to leave ASAP, so sometimes even asking for directions after the time felt forced, let alone the last question (I was skipping it if the girl was unwilling to stay). Secondly, some didn't know the directions, so even though they were fine with talking, it was awkward to ask "Have you been there?". I also didn't manage to do the "stacking" Chris talked about - I'll try it tomorrow. Finally, the biggest problem for me was that it felt too nosy and I felt the need to explain myself (which I did 3x) with something like "Me: Have you been there? Girl:... Me: Cause I've been directed here." One girl was even like "No, no, don't worry" which ironically made me more worried cause it made me realise I was putting too much value on girls' opinion of me. I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself though, since what's most important is that I'm learning and taking the steps to be comfortable doing stuff like this.
The longer I was there, the more exhausted I felt, too - probably because of all the negative expectations and forcing myself to approach repeatedly.
On the positive side: the girls were mostly nice, some even seemed happy to talk to me, 2 expanded on the "Have you been there?" question. It was a somewhat harder drill but I'm happy I did it.
Mission completed. It was easier than yesterday, although the 'have you been there' still felt somewhat nosy. Just 1 bad reaction (girl ignoring me) which I quickly brushed off. I seriously thought that it's not an issue with me but her - nice small progress here.
I did somewhere around 20-25 approaches but this time it was because halfway through I actually started feeling like talking to girls. I really wanted to hit on them too but I resisted, just once had a bit longer interaction.
I think I'm still coming on a bit to meekly but I'll work on that.
The worry about 'what will the people around me think' was still there but slightly diminished. I felt it worst when that girl ignored me.
I managed to 'get in there' with the first girl I saw and build a social momentum. Finishing the drill took around an hour but partly because I also observed some street artists. It was a good day.
Did it, took around 100 minutes. I felt really not up to it today, in general it's been one of these days when I just feel like crap overall.
Girls were mostly cool. I did a few extra approaches.
I also didn't do stuff word for word and with one of the approaches which was supposed to end with 'have you been there?' I blurted out the 4th question as well to 'justify' the former question. I also add a lot of fillers and say/ask something extra after the 4th question. My frame is almost non-existent.
I'm wondering if I should repeat the drill tomorrow and follow them word for word
I repeated the drill today and it was much better. It took 75 minutes and I was much more on point. I still hesitated a lot before the approaches but I 'got in there' immediately again and my hesitation wasn't as bad as yesterday. What I'm most happy about is the fact that I managed to have some frame this time.
Hello there! Day 9 was pretty easy. I still had quite a bit of hesitation, especially when I saw this one tall girl in heels. I was like 'no way, I'm not doing it' and immediately after I thought, 'dude you really need to'. I creepily turned around, stood there, while nervously looking at her and gathering all my bravado and finally approached her.
Overall, most reactions were positive. There were a few negative ones, again, mostly from Asians. I think these girls are probably mostly pretty shy. Anyway, it didn't bother me THAT much today.
I'm really proud of myself, I felt like skipping today cause my sleep has been absolutely messed up recently and I don't feel that mentally strong and positive. I thought I'd walk for two hours but ended up finishing the drill in 45 minutes.
I started off good, quickly did first 10 approaches, then lost my momentum a bit and the last 5 took around 20-30 minutes. Nevertheless, I'm mostly happy with myself, since during most of it I had a pretty strong frame.
Most of the reactions were good but for the very last approach I chose 2 girls, 1 average, 1 hot. They didn't seem to want to talk really, especially the hotter one seemed pretty annoyed with my questions and I expected her to tell me to go fuck myself. That didn't happen but still, it felt pretty bad.
I did 14/20 approaches due to a time constraint. Tomorrow, however, I'll start counting from 0, since I'm dissatisfied with what I was doing. I was really uncomfortable, just thinking about that 3rd question made my super uneasy, since it felt not only nosy but even creepy. I believed girls would think I'm weird and probably even a thief or sth. That 3rd question just feels super off, especially when I'm not supposed to follow it up with question #4. I feel demotivated but I'm not planning on giving up.
Definitely my least favourite drill so far. It just feels so weird and creepy.
Today I 'got in there' but then kind of stalled for a while after doing around 8 approaches. I actually lost count during this time when I was barely approaching. Then I got tired of walking around and quickly did what I thought was remaining approaches and also a few on top.
The pre-last girl was really untalkative, in a you're-not-worthy-of-my-time-you-peasant kind of way. And after I asked her what phone she had she was like 'why?', I responded with 'just asking' and she told me to 'leave her alone!' angrily. Ouch, that felt bad. I decided to do one extra approach after that. Both the drill itself and that reaction really tired me emotionally. I've been thinking that maybe my vibe is creepy but I don't know, I think the worst that I may come across is simply nervous.
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