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after my introduction to this forum, compare also
, i decided to start with the "How to go out alone to bars" program instead of the AA program, because i am already a bit experienced with approaching women and can normally start an interaction in 3 to 4 out of 5 situations.
Week 1 - night 1 (13.08.2019)
I went to a bar in Zurich, where also a dancefloor is integrated. Here i passed all tasks except of the one asking the bouncer how he is, because no bouncer was there. For that open task i switched then later to another bar, where i fulfilled also this missing task.
3 observations were interesting for me in this first night:
Talking to the bouncer and two other well dressed guys asking for the time or where the toilet is, i was nervous, almost blocked to start the conversation. But it was all good at the end and i got some friendly answers. So it seems i have a natural respect of authorities and persons with obviously higher status and put them automatically on a pedestal. But at the end they are all humans like me, and also "cook only with water" as we say in Germany.
While searching for eye contact with ladies, i stood next to the dancefloor and smiled to a group of ladies from Asia. Most of them smiled back and suddenly one of the ladies came to me to introduce herself. After that, we danced for a while and at the end i took her number. I think it is a solid number and we will se us again. Unbelieveable, i just stood there and searched for eye contact. But maybe it makes sense what Chris says, that you have to style out yourself to a maximum to be at least over-average in your appearance comparing to other guys. At least she complemented me, that i am a good looking man.
And finally i also made the creeper challenge taking pics of a group of girls with the flash light. (One of the pictures you can see below). The girls just turned around, but then suddently a guy, who was standing next to me, interrupted me, that this is not a good idea what i am doing here. I should ask the ladies before taking a picture of them. I said, that it was just spontaneously and i will ask them then next time. So the situation was under control and i got no trouble. It was a nice challenge to make these pictures, because nobody is doing this normally. So it makes sense to pass such creeper challenges in the perspective of doing what you want and do not give a damn what others think about you.
I passed yesterday the second day of the program.
Week 1 - night 2 (15.08.2019)
Similar to the first night, I went to two bars to solve all the tasks. The bars were not the same like on the first night to bring some variety into the challenge.
Here are my observations during the second night going out alone:
The bouncer was really surprised because of my question how he is tonight. These tough guys are obviously not used to it, that people could treat them friendly. He then asked me how I am and and then I entered the bar. Good to know for the future, try to befriend the bouncer. If you are in trouble or you want to enter the bar, he will remember you in a positive way.
The creeper challenge got tough last night. First of all, there were not so much people in the bar, which means that many of the other guests would see what I am doing there inside.That frightened me and it took me a while until I could make the creeper challenge because of that. Finally I made three pictures in front of two ladies with flash light (see one of the pictures below). As a result of this, they looked really shocked at me afterwards. Then I walked over to them and told them they look so beautiful and I just had to make some pictures of them. They were not amused about it and looked at me in a disgusted way for the rest of my stay in that bar. It was very uncomfortable for me, it really felt like I am a total creep. In addition, it needed some minutes until my heart beat went down again and I could continue with the other tasks. But after I finished the night, it felt really good and also right. For me this means, that to expand your own comfort zone you have to push through the uncomfortable situations to improve yourself, there is no other choice.
I went out yesterday again to complete the first week of the program. The cool thing about the program is for me in general, that it gives me a structure for the night, which highly motivates me to go out. Even on Thursday this week after I passed my outdoor sports session in the early evening, I wanted to go out to fulfill the tasks afterwards. Normally it was a huge problem to motivate me to go out after sports or the work in the office in general, so this program is the perfect thing for my needs. I am really looking forward to the next weeks.
Week 1 - night 3 (16.08.2019)
Like the two nights before, I decided to pass the night challenges in two different bars, that were directly located next to each other in the near of the main station in Zurich.
Here are my observations of the night:
Like the nights before trying to make eye contact with girls went pretty well after a while. After some good reactions from ladies I automatically started to smile at them and some of them mirrored me and did the same. Some of the ladies were really receptive to my advances, some stayed very cold or did not even look in my direction. It seems to me, that you can already make with this a first screening, which ladies probably like you and which not. Maybe the program will expand on that topic in the next weeks, we will see.
The creeper challenge was again a tough one, because the bar was really dark and everybody would notice, when a guy is shooting 3 pics with flash light. But I survived it again (see also the pic below), and had a small talk with the two confused ladies afterwards to explain them my behavior. Like in the first two nights, maybe the explanation was not necessary at this point, because Chris wrote about it in one of his articles, that you should not care about what people thing about your behavior and just do what you want anyway. Maybe I will do this creeper challenge in the next weeks of the program in addition voluntarily and try to avoid giving explanations of my behavior.
In conclusion there was a funny moment during the night. After I asked the female bar tender how long they will serve dinner in the venue, I was standing at the bar putting some checkmarks on my list with the tasks for the night. Then a guy came up to me and asked me if I am a police officer or so because of my interrogation of the bar keeper and putting the result on a piece of paper afterwards. Remembering Chris writing about in one of his articles, that the goal should be becoming a pussy inspector, I told the guy, that I am something like that.
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