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Guys, I'm going to kill this approach anxiety nonsense. Starting public journal of my adventures, because sometimes I would really need some advice, brotherly reassurance and accountability.
Anyway, I'm not on a day 1. So quick summary for you and will start from there.
I have a severe approach anxiety and massive fight-or-flight (usuallly flight) reaction. Not to mention serious fapping/porn addiction. I've managed to reduce my anxiety a little bit with this program, basically gave up porn, but not that much success with fapping - reduced it though.
Got from day 1 to day 18 in about 3 months, but I was very rigorous. I was redoing every drill until I've managed to do whole on a given day, as it's written (including challenges), with satisfactionary performance. Usually it took me about a week to finish a drill this way.
The biggest challenge for me so far were the parts, where I was supposed to ask, hmmm, let's say "intimate"/personal questions like "Did you like it?", "Have you seen any good movies latelty?", "Do you like my shirt?" etc. Finally, after many attempts I was able to do it.
"High-five" drills made ma paranoid on the beggining and I've spent three days not being able to do anything, but finally I've managed to kill it by creating my own drill "Time, Thank's, High five". Then I've did all high-five drills, as they are written and redid them until I were able to do it in 15 minutes. Today it's one of the easiest drill, challenging but doable.
The only drill that went smoothly for the first time was the "ABCD" one. Don't know what the hell happened but I did it in 15 minutes without much effort.
I want to progress faster, push harder, GET IN THERE despite fear (not wait untill I feel good), do not skip any days and flush AA completly. So here's a deal:
- I'm gonna be totally honest with you about my successes and failures
- You're gonna keep me accountable and kick my ass out of "excuses" shithole every time I get there
OK guys, today was a great day. Let me just mention my daily routine.
In the morning, before work, I have usually 15 spare minutes in the city centre so I'm spending it productively redoing some drills. Usually it's enough time to do one set of drills and couple of high-fives or couple of ABCDing of girls. In the evening, after work, I try to do full drills that are next on the list. So here we go:
Morning - redoing day 13 (wine, got a promotion)
Gave high-five to some asian girl, some guy crashed into me with his bike, did one set of day 13 drills. Two girls didn't know where to buy wine so I let them go pretty quickly, third girl didn't know neither, but tried very hard to find some solution.
Evening - doing day 19 (hair salon)
OK, now we have to talk seriously because I have serious issues with this drill. This crap totally stonewalled me.
1. "Hi! How's it going?" instead of asking for a time. Dunno whether there's something wrong with me, but it was a giant wall I could not destroy. For me it seems really weird to ask a stranger "How's it going?", it just begs the reaction "do we know each other?". Anyway after many tries I finally were able to do it about 8 times and every single time girl simply passed by or gave a weird look without saying a word and walked away.
Is there any specific way you say it or something? It is intened for stationary girls or what? Any help would be appreciated.
2. I have very short hair so saying that I want a Bieber haircut doesn't make any sense, actually tried it and girls were pointing this out. I changed (oooops!) the drill a little bit - I'm getting my head shaved bald, like Pitbull. Is it fine or should I really do Bieber version?
Anyway, did today full 4 sets of my own (time instead of "how's it going" and Pitbull instead of Bieber) pre-day 19 drills. Took me about 1.5h. Reactions were truly fantastic and girls when asked what haircuts they like tried to talk me out of my brilliant idea to shave head, rotfl.
Tommorow I'm going to redo this drill faster, with "How's it going" but if you won't insist, Pitbull will stay.
Evening - doing day 19 (hair salon)
Fucking did it finally! Took me a little bit less than 2 hours. You won't believe how glad I am that I've finally managed to finish this day. This "How is it going?" was seriously killing me and I think I've finally killed it. Feels good man.
Anyway, I don't think it's the good way to start a conversation. Today I had a great mood, were saying everything loudly and with confidence. Girls were slipping by and giving me a weird look without any verbal response - needed to repeat some drills because some of them has runned away. Anyway everytime I was giving them a moment of silence so they would have a chance to respond and continued drill afterwards. The ones who stayed tried to talk me out of my idea to shave my head bald.
Switching from Bieber to Pitbull is still bothering me a little bit. I think I will redo 1-2 sets with Bieber version just to see what will happen. I'll take a challenges too! What do you guys think?
I think the drills were written like 8 years ago when "Justin Bieber haircut" had a way different meaning than it does now. I'm not gonna say you should change the drill, you can still do Justin Bieber for the lols, but are you not gonna be able to beat your anxiety if you say pitbull instead of bieber? No.
As for walking girls, you have to find a way to stop them. 90% of the hot girls you'll see are gonna be walking
somewhere, you can't say you've beaten anxiety if you can't approach 90% of girls can you? Just hold up your hand in a "stop" gesture as they get close to you and say "Hey, hold up a sec" (or whatever you prefer). Then just do your thing. This will work on almost all of them, but for the random few that ignore this I would just let them go, don't chase them or anything.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.
Simply this "how's it going" immediately triggers reaction "wtf this guy wants". There's no statement of intention nor any normal question. Maybe because in my country it is very, very, very rare to start conversation with strangers like this and people are not used to it. Stopping people with simple question about a time yields much, much greater results.
But I don't want to overanalyze, gonna keep pushing.
Shit, I've overslept. No drills in the morning.
I redid single set of day 19 (hair salon), quite easy, had a little bit trouble getting into state but did it anyway. I also did day 19 challenge. This time no girls was trying to talk me out of my brilliant idea to shave ma head bald. Generally no stress, hardly any anxiety, just pure execution.
Took (a little bit too long) a break and started day 20 (bathroom). Came too late so mall was pretty much empty and it was a lot of walking to spot a girl to talk to. In the end did only single set of drills so resigned today because I was too tired of walking.
Anyway it's not hard for me despite this weird complaining about men's bathroom. Even with this it seemed to me like a totally normal and appropiate dialog. Simple question, simple answer, some blahblah, bye. Gonna finish it tommorow. Maybe I will do it on the street to make it more challenging.
This time I was able to finish day 20. I was in the another city and the biggest mall out there turned out to be suprisingly empty, so took a little bit long, but less than an hour.
I didn't do challenge because this bathroom/restroom nuance doesn't exist in my language, I would have to make it vulgar to make it similary challenging. But something else were challenging, this stupid mall I was in had well-marked restrooms all over the place, it was pretty hard to find a place where you have not had giant "toilets" sign in your eyesight. Did it anyway, had no excitement nor anxiety, I was a little bit tired and bored. I don't think there was much to kill with this drill.
Did Day 21 in the club. I was cheating though. I was with the group of distant friends and at some point I split off from them to do this drill. I must say that it made me truly scared and it took me some time to do it and multiple tries to even get started. Much harder than I thought.
Screwed up for two days in the row. I was pretty exhausted after the weekend, couldn't get a sufficient amount of sleep, what served as a perfect excuse to do not go out and do the drills. But honestly, I could have totally done it. Please kick my fatty ass for that.
Oh boy, I got rusty as hell after 3-days break. Couldn't get myself out of the home and totally didn't feel like approaching.
To get rolling I asked for a time couple of times. I still didn't feel like approaching.
OK, so maybe, let's redo bathroom drill, but this time not in the mall but on the street. Did one set, it was a little bit more challenging, but not a big deal really. Reactions were friendly and boring. Final girl (and the cutest one) got a system error after I explained that I'm looking for a mens restroom and I'm worried it may not be clean. Seriously, she just stayed looking at me trying to process what she has just heard, lulz.
Took a little bit longer, because it's national holiday, everything is closed, students went home, locals are taking a trip somwhere and amount of chicks you can spot on the street is reduced by 95%. Wrrr, everywhere just fimilies hanging out.
OK, so maybe it's time to move on to the next day? No, nah, I'm tired, not many girls to approach, beyond that I should setup my Tinder account finally, still not feeling like approaching. Please kick me in the ass, brothers.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.