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Writing this at 2AM March 25th- but for March 24th, which was Day 4 for me.
First day of drills.
Did the simple what time is it drill. Was able to accomplish it in about 15 minutes. It was late, about 10:30 pm on a sunday, but I managed to find the right spot to do it. I was proud of myself for not assuming it was too late to do it.
It went relatively smoothly. I did not end up having time today to start sending POF/ Ok Cupid/ Tinder etc. messages as I planned. I will get to that tomorrow. Typically, I will do this on Sunday evenings.
So, I thought I remembered this drill being to just do day 4 faster- but it's actually to repeat day 4, and then do day 4 faster. I did do it faster yesterday than the day prior- I did it in about half the time.
But, since I did the drill wrong, I will repeat it today properly. Five women for the time, once, and then again, faster.
I'm also going to get on POF and OK Cupid tonight and send out at least 50 messages.
It's March 28th today, I'm writing for March 26th and 27th.
On the 26th, I intended to complete day 5's drills. I did the first set of 5 at my lunch break. I intended to do the second set of five after work, but I ended up working until like 10 so I decided to try again the next day.
On the 27th, I completed day 5. Both sets of five on my lunch break. The drill is to do a set of 5 "ask for the time and leaves," and then to do it again faster. I have this down pretty well now, I managed to do the first in 16 minutes, and the second time in 9 minutes. Living in big a city helps a lot of course.
That makes today day 6. I'll journal about that tonight! I need to get on my online dating stuff (I revamped my profiles, but I need to really apply them). I send at least 50 messages tonight or I'm kidding myself.
Yesterday, I attempted to do day 6, but I had plans I forgot about that snuck up on me. I did go out and start it- got one set done. However, today I repeated day 6 and did it to its completion.
To be honest, it was very very difficult for me. I admittedly missed 2 days due to a work deadline on friday. So that set me back. I know I will have steps back in this process. I am expecting it to take me some time. But I was surprised how scared I was today doing day 6. Every approach except the simple time ones, was a battle for me. I did refuse to use many employees for these questions, as I find that is much easier to do, since they are being paid to stand there and interact with strangers as it is. Only 2 of the 15 were employees at the shopping area I was at.
It was bad enough that I didn't feel energized afterwards, I felt drained. If it's this hard tomorrow and this stressful to do this on my hour lunch break tomorrow, then I may have to go back to day 5 again, and do that a few more times. As long as it takes for me to get through this without having a heart attack haha.
I just started seeing a therapist. Perhaps I should go on a low level of anxiety medication if I'm this scared to ask strangers what time it is. I'll see what happens tomorrow- when I plan to repeat day 6 since I found it so scary.
It's Wednesday morning, April 3rd.
The day after I did day 6 on sunday, I completed day 7. So that was on Monday April 1st.
It was so much easier than day 6 was the day before. Day 6 on sunday was a nightmare. Day 7 on Monday was still a bit hard but so much easier after how hard it was the day before. I completed each of these drills as instructed.
Yesterday I unfortunately missed due to a time constraint around lunch. I'll have to stay more disciplined here.
However, what I have also realized is that I have pretty intense anxiety. I am going to hang out with Day 7 for longer. I am going to repeat it a few more times. I want to really be comfortable with that before going on to day 8.
Until next time.
it's Thursday April 4th. I am writing about yesterday.
Yesterday I repeated Day 7. It took some time, but it went quite well. I am feeling a lot less anxious in general doing these drills. I still feel some resistance to doing them, but it is getting easier.
I will likely repeat day 7 one or two more times before moving on to day 8.
Writing today about Friday, April 5th. Did day 7 again. Unfortunately, it still feels like that's where I'm at. I need to make sure to not be missing days quite so often, that's probably why I'm not progressing faster. But hey, at least I am committed to doing the program, as long as it takes.
But I did the drill, and it's getting easier generally. I think I have some pretty deep anxiety, so it's going to take me some time, is what I've realized. I'll get through this as long as it takes me.
Tomorrow I will repeat day 7, hopefully for the last time. If I feel the sense of fear has lessened enough, I will do day 8 on Tuesday.
I've been on Jury Duty this week in Downtown LA. It's been kind of perfect because we get a 90 minute lunch break and it's right in the middle of downtown. I've been doing drills then. Monday and Tuesday (yesterday) both I repeated day 7. It's getting easier, I'm starting to feel less anxious. It's taking me a long time but it's working, slowly but surely. I feel like I can repeat this maybe 2 more times and then I should be ready for day 8. Didn't plan on staying on one day this long, but the first day I did it I was so terrified, I want to get as far from that as possible.
Today I'll continue with repeating day 7. Tomorrow likely the same thing. We'll see about friday- hopefully that will be day 8.
I'm on Day 53 and started in January. I did the program back in 2015 and I ended up meeting my ex-girlfriend from the skills I gained. Unfortunately, from 2015-2019(end of the relationship in early January) I noticed my AA returned as I struggle to introduce myself to new girls. So I restarted the program back in January and I am even better than I was in 2015. It's definitely one of those 'if you don't use it, you lose it" concepts. After you complete the program always be chatting people up even if your in a relationship to ensure the AA never returns! At least that's my plan. I wonder if other members had a similar experience.....
Yes, I even just fell off the last 5 days because I had jury duty and then work after for a number of days, made this difficult.
I'm actually going to start the drills again today, but luckily much of the effect will still be there since it hasn't been long.
But yeah, if I miss for a while, I always notice. I think there's a point though where once you've done it long enough, some of it really sticks, because you'll have enough reference to think differently about it.
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